Bitchiness in the office

[keysonthehighshelf]

I'm starting to go insane. I work with some totally nice people, but some are really, really bitchy. As soon as people leave the room they start laying in to them then going 'shh shh she's coming' when they walk back in to the room. I hand on heart, never get involved. I don't bitch about anyone and I have no interest in doing so. I sit in a different team and there are only 2 of us but we all share an office so thankfully I can distance myself. I find it's making me feel unwell and like I don't want to go to work. I'm talking to people knowing that they're being bitched about as soon as they leave the room and feeling guilty, I start to wonder whether they do the same about me, and to be honest some of the stuff they talk about is awful (saying breast cancer survivors have no reason to need compassionate leave and they should just crack on like the rest of us. We all have 'shit going on'). Would you say anything? I'm scared I'm just going to make myself a target but it's starting to drive me insane.

If it's bothering you that much then I do think you should definitely do something. You could mention it to them or mention it to your manager? Or look for a new job. If it were me I'd probably discuss it with my manager first to see what they think, and if it was really that bad then I'd look for a new job.

Life's too short and we spend far too much time at work to be miserable the whole time.

How horrible! I’ve been there. I’d definitely mention it to your manager or even HR if indirect bullying is involved.

The temptation to record the bitchiness and then accidentally replay the recordings when the victim is back in the room would be strong.

Mention it to HR. Do not make any recordings!

If its a big enough organisation I would discretely report this to line managers. Its creates a toxic environment, and obviously if they've got time on their hands to bitch they're not working.

It usually is the case that the biggest bitchy shit stirers are skating on thin ice, have a history of unpleasantness at work, and if the management team are of any use, they will act on this.

That's horrible OP, I once (years ago) was in the same situation. I had worked as a PA for one manager in a different part of the building, but we were all moved to the same office. The bitchiness really got me down, it was just as you describe. I never engaged with it and I knew they talked about me, but the worst was knowing they had slagged off someone, and were then all "nicey nicey" to their face. I had a word with the Admin manager, she did nothing. I spoke to my old boss and he tried to get me moved back, but they wouldn't. I left in the end, it was horrible.

It's horrible isn't it. I am in a similar situation but it's all communicated by text messaging between the mean girls and blatant giggleing outloud.

I wonder what turning around and saying, 'do any of you lot ever wonder what's said about you as soon as you go out the room' would do?