To be fed up with the choices of our local secondary schools

[Jambalaya76]

DS started yr 7 in sept 19. We put him in the best of a bad bunch. All of our local schools have a bad rep. There's one just out of the catchment area which seemed amazing at the open evening, but as it is oversubscribed, DS wouldn't have had a chance getting in.
Now he's been at his secondary school 4 months now and I die a little inside at the quality of education it seems he is getting. My son is bright and got amazing Sats results in primary. He was well behaved and studious. Now he comes home and all I hear about is the trouble that happens at school and the trouble he gets into. I have teachers phoning me up about his behaviour in school, class clown he is. Never shuts up and disrupts lessons! He also isn't set any homework (as they learn in school time) and is not interested in any after school clubs ( to be honest, the subjects aren't that appealing).
I fee like we have made a big mistake sending him to this school, but also feel
Like we never really had a choice as the other options are just as bad!
We are looking at indépendant schools, but the cost means we wouldn't be able to enjoy the style of living we have and enjoy now! What's else can we do apart from move. I feel like DS is set to fail at this school and I feel like crying

I sympathise, as most of the schools around where I live are not great either. The reality is that the schooling system in the U.K. is as much a postcode lottery as the NHS.... I get really annoyed when I read comments from people who are lucky enough to have access to a good or excellent secondary school and who don’t understand that not everyone has that opportunity.

I think in your situation you need to look at the schools results to see how most kids perform, and then work out if your son could do well at the school if his own behaviour improved. If not, then maybe start looking at other schools in the area? I have to confess I would not be happy with no homework...

I agree with @Notcontent - will his learning improve if his behaviour does, as a poorly behaved child at an outstanding school will still not achieve their best?

If you cannot find a state school that suits your son, but find an independent school that does, then you need to make lifestyle changes to ensure your child has the best opportunity to succeed in life.

I also cannot believe there is no homework and would not choose a school with that policy.

My son is bright and got amazing Sats results in primary. He was well behaved and studious. Now he comes home and all I hear about is the trouble that happens at school and the trouble he gets into. I have teachers phoning me up about his behaviour in school, class clown he is.

It sounds more like the problem is your son and not the school. All schools have children with behaviour issues and previously well behaved children do change. Others don't and continue to be well behaved and studious. Do you back up the school or blame them when talking to your son about his behaviour?

I would have been delighted if my dc hadn't had homework. It was the bain of our lives.

Presumably you have had a talk with your ds about his behaviour. I'd also be wary of forking our for an independent school if your ds is just going to muck about.

What kind of results does the school get? If hardworking students can achieve good results in the school then I would gauge the school in that.
It does sound like they’re trying to deal with his behaviour but you need to put your foot down too.
My ds didn’t get much homework either but I got him to do extra maths practise, extra reading or YouTube videos on his topics in other subjects and made sure he was still reading a book before bed.

You know that phrase, 'You aren't stuck in traffic, you are traffic'? Well that's your son. It's not that he's disadvantaged by disruption and poor behaviour, he is the disruption and poor behaviour.

I've no doubt that he is far from the only child causing issues in his classes, but what I will say is that teachers tend only to call home about the most problematic repeated offenders. Certainly if you are receiving numerous calls from a range of teachers, then you can be sure that your son is one of the key players in the unfocused classroom.

If you want him to be learning in a calm and focused environment, then he has to stop actively contributing to (or even ringleading) the disruption.

I would be concerned about him being under-stretched and uninspired in class but not having homework can be a great asset. Frees up time for you to explore ideas together at home in this current situation, too. So much hw is poorly set, for-the-sake-of-it work, and doesn't necessarily contribute well to a learning journey.

I would come down on disruptive behaviour like a ton of bricks. Especially in a year 7 - most studious year 7s are terrified to step out of line. Honestly sort his behaviour first then think about what next.

You need to address his behaviour first as he's currently affecting the quality of education for his entire class. He is the reason he's not learning.

Maybe he's found the transition hard, maybe he's doing the status assertion thing the lads do in year7/8/9 to fit in and find their "place". Either way, he needs steering back onto the straight and narrow before the behaviour becomes a habit.

They will have homework. Check with his form tutor.

My nephew is in a school like that.

It's kids like yours that ard ruining his education.

Yes, he needs to sort out his attitude and behaviour, but it could be that he is finding the transition difficult and this is being masked with bravado.

I find do it odd though that someone with the money, even just about, for an independent school would have knowingly sent their child to a school that they think isn't very good from the start. Fair enough when a school seems good but doesn't suit your child, or they are otherwise unhappy there. I looked and read about and monitored local secondary schools from when DDs were in KS2 and if we lived in an area for crap state schools we'd have moved or started then looking at whether we'd be able to afford private.

How can you say that when your kid is the one running it for everyone else.

We were in an similar situation. Choices between three shitty schools. 2 of which featured in the times lists of worst schools in the county.

That's bad enough but kids like your kid are the biggest issue. Not all kids sent to shit schools mis behave. Dd and her friends dont. They seem to be amongst the few who dont disrupt the class.

What do you do when you get the phone calls home?

Believe me, if they’re phoning you, his behaviour is BAD. I teach secondary. If I get a spare moment in the day, I drink coffee, not call parents for fun. No matter how polite I am on the phone, if I’ve used my spare time to call home, it’s because this child is causing such problems for the rest of the class.

You really, really, need to get him to sort his behaviour out before complaining about the education (he is part of the problem).

Oh, and ‘joker’ means he is actively trying to disrupt others. Get him sorted. Then look at how much progress he makes.

You need to address his behaviour whether you want him to move schools or not.

A word of warning about independents. It depends where you are in the country but it’s not guaranteed that you can just choose where you want your son to go in the private sector, especially at Y7. If you want him to move at y9 when most boys move from prep to upper you need to get his name down sharpish, and if you want somewhere vaguely academic he may have a few tests to sit which he would have to prepare for. Do you think he would do that?

Even if you try to move him in Y7 or y8 a lot of schools won’t welcome him with open arms just because you can pay.
Sone will, but a lot will be a lot less tolerant of bad behaviour simply because they can.

The school are phoning you all the time? I've had this with Ds1, do as a pp said, his behaviour must be BAD! Address this first.

What grades does the school get. What are his predicted grades? When do they set for English and maths?

I only ask because Ds1 is at a big school, a very good school admittedly, but still our 'local comp', and they have a lot of very very bright children, so the whole of the top set are children who are getting grade 9 or 8's in maths. some of these children haven't got less than 98% in any of their maths exams since joining secondary. they are just incredibly bright.

the second set is full of people with 8's and 7's. no miss behaviour is allowed, or even happens, because these children are absolutely dedicated.

so I suggest your son knuckles down and tries to get into one of the top sets?

Wow...”my son is a disruptive, annoying wee arsehole at school. So it’s clear that it’s a terrible school!”

I don’t think so.

cannot find a state school that suits your son, but find an independent school that does, then you need to make lifestyle changes to ensure your child has the best opportunity to succeed in life.

I'm by no means skint or poor but no amount of lifestyle changes could accommodate this. Im sure loads of people in ops position are also financially unable to do the school fee thing.
You do realise that many even though they're managing well just aren't earning enough to just change lifestyle don't you?

Op on a practical level, those with the right attitude and good behaviour will find a way of managing.
Whilst you may not have much choice re schools your kids can choose how much they get from it. If your kids are struggling In relation to getting sucked in to poor behaviour then this is where you start, resilience, adaptabity and the ability to see opportunity are useful skills for kids to start with getting these right will help get the right mindset to learn at school.

Work with what you have op, bright kids can thrive anywhere with the right support.

If you can consider private school, could moving house be an option instead?

I’d the school are phoning you his behaviour will be terrible.
Have a stern chat about this. Private schools just won’t tolerate it, their USP tends to be their exam results and they just won’t put up with a kid acting up, and he will get kicked out for far less than he would at a state.
It’s also seriously unusually for year 7s to be that disruptive.

I have to.agree with others your sons attitude needs to change my son is NOT academic and in lower sets ,but he does his best and trys his hardest and we are always getting cards and certificates home to say so and every teacher I have spoken to at parents evening have said he's a,lovely polite boy whose a credit to us he's in year eight ,his school has a reasonable reputation but has its fair share of trouble makers .

I'm a bit concerned that you are blaming your DS's behaviour on the school. He won't do well anywhere if he is misbehaving and messing about in class.

I'd see no homework in Year 7 as a positive. My DC's school always says if you have no homework you should go through your notes of what you did in class and make sure you understood. So I'd suggest he should do that, if you think he needs to do extra at home.

if he doesn't like the school clubs, why not take up an activity out of school? Extra-curricular is an extra, not an integral part of school. What clubs does he want to attend?

I can't see anything in your post about the actual teaching/results. Which surely defines whether the school is any good?

Work with what you have op, bright kids can thrive anywhere with the right support.

So true, if a kid wants to do well they will do well, no matter what school they attend.

Very few year 7's have a call home. Sort his attitude and he will succeed.

He probably thinks he is too good or too ahead for the school, he may be ahead but he won't be for long and his classmates will pass him.

Class clowns don't get into top sets, schools can't afford to sacrifice an entire class for a single clown.