to think anxiety screws with your memory?

[Namestranger]

Forgive me if this isn't news to anyone else but I've suffered with low level anxiety all my life and it's literally only just occurred to me and I've never heard a MH professional mentioned it either.

Because I spend a lot of time in a heightened state of emotion and my anxiety causes me to obsessively revisit things that went badly (or things I've perceived to have gone badly), I'm worried that my strongest and clearest memories are therefore almost always bad. This might explain why I feel quite content much of the time but when I think back I always think I've been unhappy most of my life. Do the bits that are just ok all sort of moosh into the background and get forgotten. What a sad thought!

Yes it does. Look at Clark Baim and his adult attachment theory. [https://www.amazon.ca/Attachment-Based-Practice-Adults-Understanding-Strategies/dp/1908066172]

Is that book 170 dollars? 😊 I'm glad someone's written about it though.

I've never had it affect my memory, but I guess if affects everyone differently.

yes - absolutely your memory can be affected. That's why you end up focussed on the one time things went wrong and forget all the times they were just fine....

Stress and anxiety do mess with your memory.

How we process and revisit our memories depends on our state of mind and is to do with survival.

It can work either way. Sometimes we can over focus of the good times. One of the strategies of falling out of love with an abuser is to replace any good memories with bad ones.

It really does. A counselor once described it as your mind being too busy with anxiety to not have remaining bandwidth to function properly.

Yes. Heightened cortisol over time damages the brain.

Yes !! I was always known to have a photographic semi eidetic memory, then a nervous breakdown in 2011 ( yes I know thats not the “now” term ) caused me horrific memory issues ! Now Im almost fully recovered my memory stuns people again
So 100% agree with you

A bit of a different experience here with memory but anxiety related; I lost my DB 7 years ago (he took his life) and since then my memory is terrible with dates - birthday, anniversaries, meetings; anything. Even things to do with me - I seem to have no clue what/ when it is. Just can’t remember or retain it. No idea why as it was perfect before then. I’ve been able to recoup it a little though managed to forget a close relatives birthday a month ago which they weren’t happy about. Everything is in my diary and still, I can look at it and then forget it a moment later. Very odd. My memory hasn’t been affected in any other way than this.

@TheGlitterFairy

Were you close to your brother? That sounds to me like your brain is just processing it all and letting the trivial stuff leak out so it can digest the heavier stuff.

The other thing to realise is that you don't remember, you recreate every time. So your current mood twists events and facts of the past to fit it - ie if you're very sad you think you've always had a terrible life.

You haven't. Memory is storytelling, not journalism. Brains can lie - depressed brains are shocking liars.

super depressed brains are indeed shocking and shameless liars! I'm never sure whether, when I do find out the truth I am more angry with th lies, or just relieved the past isn't what I was telling myself it was!

I think I made this realisation when thinking about my late mother and realising I didn't like her that much. I'm know there were times she was lovely to me but all I remember is the times I felt anxious about upsetting her or her being cross with me because I've kind of "over remembered" them, if you see what I mean.