To be getting seriously pissed off with IL and DM

[ItsJustAWaitingGame]

So knock me done if I'm BU but I'm getting so Wound up and dunno if it's just me.

Due baby any day. ILs originally said they'd be happy to help with toddler when we go to the hospital.. As lovely as this offer was dd has never stayed there. And if stayed here even with instructions of where things are. How tv works etc they'd constantly ring.
Then all weekend I've heard. We'll it can't be Monday as we have x plans. Tues we have this apt. Weds only available after x time.. Sat would be best! Like I can pick and choose.
I'd said no problem as my parents both live local. My dad can take time off at drop of a hat. Etc.
But they're still going on about it being a specific day that suits them.
I've started to ignore the texts.

Then I have my dm who quite honestly comes across selfish in many things.
Always wants a lift here or there. Or to pick my sibling up etc.
But then goes on at me if I say.. Oh I got to do xyz today she said oh you should be taking it easy.. Wtf I'm pregnant not ill. This morning I messaged and said I wouldn't be waking to her works with dd to collect something as I've had mild Contractions every 30min all night. And didn't fancy dragging dd out fighting her into pushchair and walking there. I wanted to stay in and get sorted and arranged for my friend and toddler to Come and play
She then rang and asked if I'd run an errand for her to collect my sibling from school. She's 16nso old enough to walk.. My son is and he's at the same school. As my DF can't collect and she has no bus fare... I've said my sibling or my ds can bus using apple. Pay or whatever and pay it back to them.. But that's a hassle! This was Less than 24 hrs after saying I shouldn't be running here there and everywhere and less than an hour after I'd said i was staying in.
Got shitty because I said no.
Also last week dh car blew up. And we were down on1 car for a few days.. No problem. Even if longer.
She was like oh that means you have to run him to work and collect.. We'll yeah that's no issue then I have the car if needed or he can take it if I don't need.. She was like oh ffs its running around you don't need..you shouldn't be doing it. ( again no reason why not I'm. Pregnant not ill)
Yeah well we didn't need less than a week before baby due to have to get a new car. But that's life. Plenty of families get by with 1 car or 0 cars.?

I just feel rage and hormonal that everyone is trying to dictate how I should spend my time.. Until it suits them.
Or whe I should schedule in labour

yabu for not scheduling your labour around everyone else, bloody selfish or wot ?
with dm and ils i smile and wave then do what I need to do. everyone else can jog along including your sibling,put the big boy trousers on please.

Wtf Brokenlightfitting the OP was perfectly coherent if your time is too precious or you're too lazy to read then just leave the thread?

OP you're not BU, but I get th impression that even if you weren't pregnant your DM in particular would have no respect for your time or plans. Your ILs are just plain daft

You have that right on point. Everything has to suit her.
ILs I am ignoring as its winding me up a tad.

Sorry if it's not readable. I have a toddler dozing on me.

OP i understood perfectly as did spark you post is a lot clearer than some on mn.

😂 I'm sorry but your post has FUCK OFF all over it and it was soo how I felt before I had my son

Your not being unreasonable your just dealing with idiots

ILs are stupid tits.
DM wants you taking it easy so you won't be too tired to run around doing her jobs.
Feck 'em all.
Do what you need to do, OP. Have you got a plan B person if labour starts when ILs are doing their regular grocery shop?

Sounds mad to be honest....do your PIL not understand the nature of labour?! Maybe they don't realise you need them as your actual go-to childcare for the occasion and are just volunteering to help out if you end up staying in hospital a little longer?

That's pretty inconsiderate of your mum regarding your sister as well. At 16 she can make her way home without her ready-to-pop sister dragging round to get her.

Surely you're in slow labour (contractions every half hour)? So are entitled to tell the world to fuck off.

YANBU and they sound irritating. Good luck with the birth.

Your post is understandable.

From your Mum take the message to "take it easy". Everything else is rubbish - "sorry that doesn't work for me" should be your answer.
Of course your sibling can look after themselves. They should have some emergency money for a bus anyway (as should your son).
Your ILs are utterly mad. I'd suggest referring them to your DH at all times. And he can handle it. You don't need to raise your blood pressure.

good luck! Being grumpy could be a sign things are happening?

On the plus side - hopefully the (completely justified) grumpyness is a sign of labour.
I was emotional all day yesterday and today I've had a period pain like bad back - fingers crossed for both of us!

@Brokenlightfitting
"Could you distill your issues into 3-5 coherent bullet points. Please?"

Can't you handle paragraphs? No need to be so rude.

If your Dad is reliable and willing, tell DH to tell IL's that he is having DS, end of story. DH will text or call when bbay is here.

Every time Mom asks you to do a favour say "as you said Mom, I need to take it easy so I won't be able to do X"

Next time your mum rings tell her you’re unavailable until March . Good luck 💐

Stop engaging with them for a while. Don't take calls and don't answer texts, they'll soon get the message. And keep saying no to your mothers requests. As for your crazy IL's tell them to get stuffed. If only we could all pick and chose the day we have babies.

If you’re having contractions every half an hour you’re in labour albeit early stages. I kind of agree you should be taking it easy at that stage in pregnancy. Shoot me.

@Brokenlightfitting ODFOD

OP you sound like you are in a hormonal labor range, and so you should be. Every one round about you is being pretty stupid. Good luck with the new arrival which will probably be Wednesday

I read that and 100% agree with @Sparklfairy that it reads as though your IL's would be as annoying even if you weren't pregnant. Has your other half said to them that a birth doesn't just fit in with every one else's schedule? It's not like you can say "9am - getting my hair done, 10am - having a baby, Noon - having a bite to eat and catch up with the girls, 2pm pick the kids up from school" kind of thing? They happen when they happen and having offered to look after your toddler, they should be stepping up or stepping back, but doing either, clearly.

As for your DM - I'd have to say "Mum, I've told you I can't do X, Y or Z. You'll have to ask someone else to do it." and if pressed, "Mum, I'm really not comfortable in having to say this over and over to you as you may think that I'm being rude. I'm really not. I've said that I can't do X, Y or Z. Why are you pressing me on it? I just can't do it so please stop asking." and if she continues "Ok, mum, now you're coming across as being rude as I've already told you R number of times that I can't do it. I'll have to hang up the phone/walk away/mute your number on my phone if you persist in asking."

Best of luck with the impending birth!

I'd also go with what @Chickychickydodah but just not tell her March of which year!

Thank you.
Dm rang earlier and I didn't answer mainly. Because I was tidying the aftermath of dds playdate.
She rang teen and said is mum in pain.. He said nah don't think so.. Boys eh
I called back on own time and she said are you getting pains.. I said uncomfortable but bare able. Then quite sternly I said... Which is why I said I wasn't doing anything today.

She was like alright I know that.!
With that I said got to go now.

Whichever PP said she wants me to relax so I have energy for her errands is correct thinking about it. As if I've had a more chilled week come her day off she'll be like, shall we do this, dd has been in the last day or 2.. Which inevitable ends up me taxiing her to various places.

FIL was like that. I was being taken in for a planned inducement on the Saturday but with no firm idea of when they'd start it. FIL lived in Wales at the time.

He said to DH 'me & wife are coming up your end Sunday to visit family. We'll come to the hospital about 9am so you'd better make sure she's had it by then because we've got plans'.

DH told FIL he wasn't a magician and couldn't tell me to have the baby to order to please him. And in any case the hospital didn't allow visitors outside husband / partner for 24 hours after the birth (not true but he was pissed off with FIL).