Bullying AIBU to not know what to tell my SN child?

[Gamble66]

DD15 has ASD - constantly bullied at a mostly low level throughout high school - school understandably find it hard to deal with and stop.
Have had intervention from various agencies who quite frankly are shit - lots of booklets and diaries etc but no real advice how to deal with the daily bullying.
Has anyone delt with this successfully without moving schools?
What strategies have you given your child that don't involve victim blaming?
Dd is now in major school refusal and I genuinely have no idea what to say to her that does sound essentially like suck it up

There's no such thing as low level bullying and There's no shame in you not having the answers. Parents are human and sadly don't always have the answers..Of course your DD is refusing to go to school. Would you or I want to return to work tomorrow if we were getting bullied!!!
I'd be politely demanding a meeting with the HOY and If she's not available. I'd say well I'm keeping her at home until she is, because I am not prepared to put my Daughter in a place where she is being abused, and It is abuse. Let's not dress it up. No teacher, Hoy or Head Teacher would ever accept any bullying for your child. Why should you have to accept it for yours.
It's not your DD s responsibility to suck anything up.
I fuckin detest bullies.

Gamble your poor Dd 💐. Its horrible and she shouldn't have to put up with it.

Ds is also 15 and autistic (recent diagnosis). He too has experienced low level bullying and being picked on since year 6, it started the last year of primary. Had contact with the school again on Friday as he has opened up at home about stuff that is happening. Unfortunately I think far more is going on than he would like to admit. It's mostly verbal now but has been more physical in the past. He has had his possessions damaged and stolen, his clothes scribbled on and food thrown at him etc. Now it seems to be more name calling.

School say it shouldn't be happening but last time something got reported the child involved made it even worse for Ds.

If I'm honest I don't know what the answer is. Ds has resigned himself to the fact that he is a target and just puts up with it, which is really sad. It certainly hasn't helped his mental health that's for sure.

I really hope things improve for your Dd. I too would be interested to hear any suggestions on dealing with this.

really awful situation to be in OP. It’s heartbreaking to watch your child suffer like this and feel helpless to do anything. I’m guessing home schooling isn’t an option?

@Livelovebehappy we have home schooled but she has little internal motivation and few actual interests to actually 'hook' home Ed on and as we are quite rural the home Ed social scene is very limited in her age range. I am considering just letting her stay home - cover what we can and hope collage will be better

I'd let her stay at home until she felt able to cope and tell school they are not providing a safe environment for her, so she's not able to tolerate being treated like that.

Is it also happening on her social media as well as face to face? If so I'd tighten all the controls on that too so she has no contact with them.

No doubt you'll hear all the excuses from school about "resilience" but what many teachers and other parents of NTs fail to understand is that loads of kids with ASD and other AN have an emotional age about two thirds of their chronological age so bullying is so much more difficult for them to deal with.

Consequently, as parents we need to be there even more for them to help them cope.

I am considering just letting her stay home - cover what we can and hope collage will be better
I'd do exactly the same.

@BlankTimes - you have it exactly - resilliance is a woke way of saying suck it up isn't itand yes I would say she has the emotional functioning of a 10 year old.