Hello,
I am need of some advice as I can’t talk to anyone about it and I’m not sure if I am overreacting.
About 2 years ago my OH and I went through quite a rough time. I (very drunkenly) saw a text message from his ex-colleague asking him if they were still meeting up the following week (when I would have been away on holiday). I was very drunk (not an excuse), all hell broke lose and I hurt my partner a lot that night by the things I was saying and throwing some of his personal belongings out the window - it was not a pretty sight and he was very hurt for a long time after. He claimed they never had anything going on and she was talking about a get together of old colleagues. He didn’t want to tell me (and in general always avoided talking about her before) because I got jealous one time and wondering why she was calling him on a Sunday and asking him to help her with something at her home. Needless to say, he didn’t, up until that point I had never even heard of her so I felt a bit insecure about it. After that night he never spoke to her again/saw her again as she was due to move away that summer anyways and he stupidly called her when I had my drunken rage to prove nothing was going on - not a great idea, I took the phone and was shouting abuse at her (I know, that’s horrible and I feel horrible about that.) We went through couples counselling (and I went through personal counselling and stopped drinking). he admitted that some of his actions might have come across shady but he just said he tends to avoid conflict. Fast forward two years we’ve been very happy and really worked on ourselves. We learned to be more respectful when arguing and life has been good.
Last night that ex-colleague of his called him twice in a row way past midnight. He didn’t realise it was her and clicked her away. This morning he checked his phone to see what number that was and her name came up - I was next to him in bed.
I was rather upset and am wondering why the hell she would call him on a Saturday night after not having spoken to him two years ago. He genuinely did seem surprised to see her name come up and I do believe him that they’ve not spoken to each other since.
There is one thing on my mind though. Even if it was a drunken call on her part, would you really call someone on a Saturday night during an ungodly hour if they were just an ex-colleague. It’s made me feel terrible today, my OH is raging that I don’t trust him and put this onto me saying it is an issue I have to figure out. He’s making me feel guilty about my feelings and generally was quite aggressive this morning when I was upset. I just don’t believe you would booty call someone after such a long time if nothing had happened before. So an issue that was seemingly a non-issue has come up again and I don’t know what to think. Help - am I overreacting?