To confront CF?

[BreakfastAtLitanies]

Ooooo my first CF story!

I have two part time jobs. Job A and B. A is a retail setting and B is a nightclub job, on the door selling promo tickets. (I am studying so these fit in best with my schedule).

Got a text 2 days ago from a colleague asking if I'd swap shifts (yesterday) for Job A from 11:30am - 6pm (my shift) to 2pm - 10:30pm (her shift). This shift was longer, later and also finished right before my next job started (at 11pm). It would give me just 30 minutes to get to my other workplace.

Her reasoning was that she is going home for Chinese New Year, all the way to China to be with her family. She hasn't seen them in over 3 years, and had a flight there at 7am today, so would rather have finished early yesterday to give her time to pack and prepare.

So I said yes, I can't imagine living so far from my family and really wanted to make sure it was stress free for her. I am actually new to job A so it's not like we are friends and she really laid on the family missing and sadness story, but I felt bad so I agreed even if it meant me working almost 15 hours straight with just a 30 min break between. (And 10 mins break in each job but you see what I mean).

So I work the Job A shift and it's bloody tiring, waddle off to job B. It's about 12am and guess who walks through the door, friends in tow, ready for a night of clubbing? The CF colleague who had essentially guilt tripped me into working until 10:30pm for her!!!!

She saw me, went bright red and said "I didn't know you worked here" and I couldn't even compute what had happened, I said yes I do and then sent her into the club with her friends.

I am so annoyed about this!

WIBU to confront her when she comes back from her time at home? (Obviously her flight wasn't at 7am as she left the club at gone 3am but I assume she's actually going sometime as she's booked 2 weeks off work).

Details changed for privacy but if you recognise me from real life, keep it between us

YANBU (although I wouldn’t have swapped in the first place).

I don’t think you need to confront her... she knows you caught her out and sounds embarrassed.

Yes bloody confront her! Tell her that you work 2 jobs and that in helping her, you were tired and rushing. Tell her you are very disappointed and hurt and not to ask you again, ever.

I would definitely say something to her. Cheeky pup.
You'll know not to help her out again

There's not a great deal you can do other than to never do her a favour again.

No, don’t confront her. Just refuse to do her shifts in future.

What an absolute bitch.
Don't ever do her a favour again

I think I'd just message saying "You know I won't be swapping again, don't you?"

Confronting her sounds very combative, not sure what v you have in mind. But you should definitely mention it. She will be cringing inwardly so you won’t have to say much, but she will be well positioned for giving you plenty of work favours in the future!

Tell everyone. She will never get another favour.

No point contronting her.
Just don't put yourself in a position of working consecutive shifts again!

It's done now and she knows she has been found out. Rather than confronting her you could "bank" this so that you can call in a favour in the future from her when you need it

Only action needed is a mental note they are a liar and not to be trusted. Refer to it next time they ask a favour. Because there will be such a time.

Get her to swap a late shift you're on when she gets back. Text her, you owe me a favour.

Keep your powder dry. She owes you a favour now and you should wait until she pays it back. When she next asks you for a favour using some other bullshite excuse, just refuse. If she pushes it, tell her that you have no way of knowing that she’s telling you the truth, after last time.

I don't see the issue. She could have gone to the airport after 3am for her flight, having decided to just stay up all night and sleep on her flight. She may not have been drinking so would have been ok to fly. She could have spent the afternoon packing and have had everything ready to throw in a taxi at 4am. I wouldn't say anything to her. But needless to say I wouldn't swap shifts again whereby you are left with such a short break between jobs. That was a bit foolish.

I’d spend the next fortnight telling everyone else at work.

That really is a CF!! I imagine she’s feeling v embarrassed-awkward about seeing you etc so she’s probably suffering enough!

Definition of confront: "come face to face with (someone) with hostile or argumentative intent"

Can you not just have a quiet, polite word with her instead?!

I actually think it would impact her more if you didn’t even mention it. She’ll be waiting for you to say something and will probably want to get her potential bollocking out of the way. I’d keep my mouth shut and let her stew and worry about it. Obviously never do her a favour again

You were very generous to agree to change with her with that timetable for your own 2 jobs. I thought it was a bit cheeky of her to ask when she hardly knew you even before you got to the part where she turned up at the nightclub. You did a good thing for very good reasons at quite a lot of inconvenience to yourself because you could see how hard it would have been for her on her own shift. She should have booked that day off as leave when she was [supposedly] having such a long flight. Please don't let it put you off doing others a favour another time op. Most people aren't cfs. I would certainly mention this to other colleagues at work and to her when she comes back.

I wouldn't do a big confrontation. If she's been in the job longer than you, she'll spin it so your colleagues think you're being unreasonable.
As pp said, keep your powder dry and when you need to swap shifts, which I'm sure you will, given your hectic work schedule, you can ask her and bloody well expect her to accommodate you!

She didn't know you worked at the club and were doing an unsafe swap. That was your choice.

If I ask for swaps I don't book things until the swap is confirmed. In her case I wouldn't have known - the flight times/that flights were x cheaper the next day etc etc.
I wouldn't have then unswapped because I didn't need it (I view that as jerking people around).
She asked to swap a shift because she hoped to do X. You said yes, her plans fell through, she chose not to jerk you around and so left the swap standing.
She didn't know you were doing her a huge favour. Swaps are normally mutual things, you do something for her to make life easier. She picks up a shift for you so that you can do something you want to do.

Yes i would, in front of others! I’d tell her I’d never help her again either