To feel confused after Christening?

[Elouera]

We attended our cousins, childs christening recently. I am the godmother of their older child, not the younger one being Christened on this occasion. After the ceremony they paid for a meal out for everyone, then gifts were exchanged. We gave a nice pop-up book & a small keepsake. Our cousin said to me that a gift wasn't needed, as we weren't godparents on this occasion. I felt a bit miffed by what she said. Is this the norm that only godparents take a gift? I thought taking a gift, especially when they have paid for a meal was the norm?
Thoughts please.

I've always taken a gift to a christening!

I've always taken a christening gift. Did the invite specify no gifts?

Even if that was the custom (it isn’t, everyone knows you take a gift to a christening) she was very rude to reject the gift.

It was kind of you to take a gift, I don't understand your cousin's reasoning.

Did she give it back or just say there had been no need to bring a gift? If she gave it back I'd think that very odd. We'd always bring a gift and always received gifts for christenings. If she kept it and said there was no need to have brought it, then I wouldn't pass any heed.

She didn't actually reject the gift though, surely. What she said was clumsy but along the lines of what people do sometimes say, "Oh you didn't have to do that", or "You shouldn't have", which annoys me but isn't meant rudely.

I'm sorry you feel hurt but it is really something and nothing. Your cousin obviously likes you and you her otherwise you wouldn't be godparent to her elder child.

You say Christening...I take it that it was in the Christian faith and not another religion where perhaps gifts are brought by guests who aren’t godparents?

Clutching at straws because otherwise they’re just rude

what did she say?

If it's 'oh you shouldn't have", "Oh you didn't need to" she was just being polite.

Of course it's the norm to bring a gift.

Thanks for everyones thoughts on this. No, she didn't refuse the gifts at all. She said something along the lines of 'You didn't need to bring a gift this time, you aren't a godparent'!!! Its was lighthearted, but got me thinking.

An actual godparent this time bought a tiffany bracelet, something I certainly didn't buy when I WAS the godparent. Having only been to a few Christening, all of which I gave a gift, I thought maybe I've missed something and gift giving isnt the norm. Thanks everyone.

Yes, a Christian Christening in a church, followed by a meal in a restaurant.

And no, the invite said nothing at all about 'no gifts in lieu of ......'

She just didn't want you to feel obligated - it was appreciated, rather than expected of you.

She was rude. & it’s customary to take a gift, god parent or not.

Do you think she was making some point about not having chosen you this time?

Are you the older child’s guardian if anything was to happen to the parents?

I'd always bring a gift to a christening.

I don't tend to do christening gifts tbh, but I have when I've been asked to be a godparent. I've normally bought a birth gift so don't feel the need to buy another! I'd get a card though.

It's no more rude than someone saying "oh you shouldn't have" when you bring them flowers or a bottle of something.

I wouldn't read anything at all into it.

Think about the CF threads where people have complained that the gift was not expensive enough...

I've normally bought a birth gift so don't feel the need to buy another!

bit rude, they are completely different. The christening gift is given when you are invited to the christening, church and party after.

I’ve always taken a small gift - like a keepsake type thing - to any christenings/baptisms I’ve been invited to. I’m not a godparent to any of those children as I renounced my catholic upbringing a long time ago. I thought it’s just the done thing to take a gift when you’re invited to an occasion like that

I don't think a birth gift is a thing, but an appropriate gift would be practical things like muslins, clothes, a sleep sack.
Traditional christening gifts are long lasting and possibly religious (old fashioned plate set, gift book, Bible, Noah's Ark toy, silver bracelet).

Traditionally gifts aren't given at christenings except by the god parents. 🤷‍♀️

No, she didn't refuse the gifts at all. She said something along the lines of 'You didn't need to bring a gift this time, you aren't a godparent'!!! Its was lighthearted, but got me thinking.

^Such a non issue. She was being polite

She was being nice. Being ‘miffed’ is ridiculous

Christening gifts are generally just tat anyway, other than a Tiffany bracelet🥴

Traditionally gifts aren't given at christenings except by the god parents

That's not been the case at any christening I've ever been at. Everyone attending has given a gift

Tbf when my children had their christenings I requested no gifts so I don't feel bad about it!