My parents are elderly and 10 years ago I moved back from overseas and to a small country town to be close enough to help them out. Although this is not where I wanted to live, I have made the best of it, and seen them pretty much every day. As they are getting less able to do things, it has been more and more difficult to support them without having to say no to some of the things they want to do. I dont want to be the bossy daughter and usually let it go if they want to do something I think is inadvisable, but from time to time I say no or tell them I am willing to do something different but not what they want. Before Christmas we had a family visit and I was deputed to do some chores around it, without it being discussed with me before. I couldnt do one of the things I was expected to because i had prior plans. So, I sorted out an alternative. The result was that my dad got very angry with me, as I was 'taking control away from him' and has not talked to me for over a month. He wouldnt open my christmas present to him, we didnt do anything for my mums birthday (for which I had booked the day off work), and in general is very tense when I go to visit. I get that since he organized the visit perhaps I should have gone back to him when I realized there was a problem - I was just trying to present him with a solution rather than a problem and lessen the stress on him (he was already pretty wound up about the visit). So, maybe I overstepped the mark, but out of care for them. But whatever I did, isnt a month of silent treatment ridiculous? My mum made a comment today that they should have asked me to set aside the day - but I did! I was there from 9.30am and my evening committment was at 6.30.