To get anxious about being asked about my weekend?

[WhatAMum01]

Is it just me?every time ,every week come Friday mums at the school gate I chat to will ask me my plans for the weekend.i find myself racking my brain furiously thinking what I can say while they regale me with stories about their own plans to go here there and everywhere with their children or at times not.am I alone in spending most of my weekends at home with my children,aside from odd day out or meal out?I have a disabled child which really restricts us and our choices.i sometimes listen to these busy organised mums and feel I'm failing mine by not giving them so many life enhancing experiences. Sigh.

But you are spending time with them, so simply say, “oh, we’re baking/crafting/building lego houses this weekend and will go to the park/beach if the weather’s good.”

I read somewhere that a lot of people make things up too.

YANBU. I feel the same, but then I tell myself that after being up at 06.30 a.m, 5 days a week plus work & school every day, I think we should feel fine that we are at home.

After all I go to work to pay for my house, so I would like to spend some time in it!

We stayed in today, I look at it as recharging the batteries and not spending money.

I have been decluttering all day, to make life easier in the summer when we will probably be at the beach most weekends.

Im a lone parent with no help at all, so balls to it.

I will get asked at work on Monday if I did anything nice, and I will feel crap for a bit!

It’s only small talk no one is taking notes. Just say we’re having a quite one to give the kids some down time.
We rarely do planned activities DD(9) would rather stay home and play.

In my opinion, based on the information you give, you certainly aren't failing your children. To have face to face contact, conversation, play and outdoor activities is far more valuable than an bunch of outings. Yes, it might be fun to have an outing with or without friends, but not all outings are expensive, far away or without wheelchair access. You are doing the best you can for your children and it's enough.

Yep, it's hard, my youngest DD a genetic disorder which has caused issues with her spine and development. She can't go to soft plays or trampoline parks and has to be watched closely at all times if we go to the park. We stay at home a lot and we bake/craft/read etc It's hard on siblings too.

Agreed,I think people aren't taking notes,its just I feel I say it all too often "oh nothing planned!,its my own insecurities I guess.

Just have a few lines prepared and roll them out each week.

‘Oh we are having a weekend at home, it’s so nice to have nothing we have to do!’

‘We might go to the park/beach/for a picnic/For a walk/to the cinema/out for lunch/to visIt friend/family etc (pick one).’

‘We are chilling out this weekend. Might do some baking/crafting etc.’

No one remembers or cares and of the do ask, just say, ‘oh we didn’t get around to it! What about you?’

I haven’t been out today. DS is on his xbox/chatting to his friends. We have chatted a bit. I have done some batch cooking and made breakfast and lunch. I have listened to an audio book, done some washing and watched an episode of Ben Fogle New Lives In The Wild. I read a magazine, did an online grocery shop, browsed Ikea, tidied the kitchen, put the rubbish out and looked on mums net :)

It has been a good day. I feel relaxed. You don’t always have to be out and about.

Yanbu
I hate that type of small talk. Then on Monday they ask what did you do? As if to confirm what I said on Friday Was true

@Notthisnotthat I'm the same,my son is severely autistic with learning disabilities and just cant handle places with too many people or loud noises.i feel constant guilt for my other two,feel I'm always putting their brother before them,but what can I do?

Honestly don’t worry about it. Different things work for different people. My DD does not like a lot of activities at the weekend. Whenever I do arrange to do things she spends the whole time asking when we can stop. If you and your DC are happy who cares what anyone else thinks, you’re fine.

@Scarlettpixie imgoing to use some of these lines!some of these mums know my home situation, I know they are just making chat but its like You know,shut up!

Don't worry atall, most people only ask to be polite and make conversation, I'm sure they are not asking expecting a long answer. Let them ramble on about themselves. I'm sure you are a lovely mum and are doing your best under the circumstances!

@Gogolego lol so true!I dont find it easy to tell white lies,things dont roll off my tongue, I mostly say dont know yet!

@ThebishopofBanterbury aww thank you,thats a nice thing to say.

“I go to work to pay for my house, so I would like to spend some time in it!”

I like this way of thinking @SayitBeit, very true!

In my head I want to say "Well the gardener, the cook, the cleaner, the admin assistant, the laundry lady, the entertainer, the car washer, the food shopping collector and the maid are all off at the weekend, so whatever they didnt manage to do in the week!"

But I dont, I just say "Not a lot, we never do"

@sayitbeit I like the way you think!

I get told Im too sarcastic at work!

I think Im bitter and twisted about having done this alone for nearly 7 years without a minutes help from anyone!

I think we should all be proud of ourselves to be honest

Although I don't mind if they say how was I don't know the movie we said we'd go to. Because to me that means they care a bit and remember what I said. It's the more generic questions I don't like

I feel your pain.. In my old job every Friday we would go round the office and people would say what there doing. I used to dread it mainly as we just live day to day and would often do things but these things would be decided on the day not in advance. It never involved me meeting friends etc as I dont have any.. it was more just swimming or parks playing cricket/football/badminton with dd. Popping to morrisons for breakfast was an outing!

Popping to morrisons for breakfast was an outing!

Yes! I remember taking DD to Morrisons for breakfast and they had some Owls in the entrance with a man from the local wildlife park.

DD loved it.

It was a double win that day

And all 5 mins from home.

Most people aren’t really that interested and will forget as soon as you tell them. Don’t let it worry you one bit.

Its such a boring topic, you don't have to pretend to be interested, just say "usual hijinks, have a good one!", and move on.

There’s nothing wrong with saying that you haven’t made plans as of yet, you prefer to be spontaneous.

The thing about small talk is that it's a bit of social glue, which you can join in with or not depending on circumstances each day.

Sometimes I would answer 'nothing planned but I wish I did, it's just been a crappy week and I haven't got round to it' - then a friend would offer to have one of the DC over. Sometimes I'd be doing something and it's nice to then find out more about each other (e.g. visiting family in x town, oh really my husband grew up there). Sometimes the answer is nothing and that's fine.

I tend to assume most people are facing struggles and aren't trying to boast about this sort of stuff. Think how lovely people are on MN, well they are out there in real life at the school gates too .