Birthday party etiquette

[LetItGoHome]

My daughter is in reception and I'm beginning to think about her 5th birthday party. She is the younger of 2 children I have in the same school. It seems to be the norm in the school for either parents to hire a hall with entertainer or a smaller do at home. In both situations the parents have always stayed. The first year the mums just dropped and left was with my older child's last birthday, which was his 8th! It's a pain in the backside to be honest.

I feel I have to choose between spending a fortune on a hall party giving space for all the children's entourage. Or have my rather compact mid terrace uncomfortably full. I do understand that they are still little at age 4 or 5. Some parents would feel uncomfortable in leaving children this young and some children of this age won't be left. But I kind of resent having to feed, water and entertain a house full of adults when I just want to play party games with my daughter and her friends.

AIBU if I where to send out invitations with a very clear DROP OFF and PICK UP specified. I get that some parents not like this for what ever reason, but they are free to decline the invitation. But would anyone come?

Is it normal for parents to stay? I remember being a kid and always being left at the party
My dad's had their first proper parties on 4th birthdays and no parents stayed. It was the norm round here back then. Still is, mostly.

Not dad's, obviously

I wouldn't have left my 4-5 yr old at a party on their own.

Around here, the norm is to stay, parents who drop and run don't get invited much after they've done it once!

I don't understand the hatred about staying on MN. I don't see my kids much during the week, I actually enjoy seeing them having fun. Parties are a great way to meet parents, some have even become friends over the years.

Reception is VERY young to leave kids in a stranger's house. I wouldn't trust 1 adult to be in charge and deal with toilets, excited kids bouncing everywhere, entertaining, giving food and drinks on their own. Even in their own house.

Keep the party to a small gathering, or soft play! Soft play also allow others to bring siblings - and pay for them - without interfering with the party.

I think both children, and in fact adults, are all different. I find it a little sad that the outgoing, secure kids get to come but the shy or overwhelmed kids aren't welcome (their parents can just decline.)

I also wouldn't feel 'unlucky' if my 4 year old would rather I stayed. Some kids don't have relatives close by, the only place they are left is school, so they may it may take a few parties to get them used to the dynamic.

School/kids/foundation is enough of a minefield as it is, again for both both parents and kids who are new to it all. Being kind and understanding goes a long way.