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To want to smack my idiot BIL in the mouth ??

8 replies

michymama · 30/08/2007 14:08

ok, background is we live in sicily (DH is italian) and BIL lives in his own house behind us. We have never gotten on. I find him extremly childish, argumentative and a liar. I'm not the only one who doesn't get on with him, many people don't like him, even DH has said if it wasn't his brother he would have nothing to do with him. MIL moved to be with us all (she lived in the north of italy) at xmas and moved in with BIL. She comes round here a lot and since we came back from uk holiday this summer spends most of her days here. She doesn't go out, prefers staying at home watching sky and reading her bible. She's a bit batty but I adore her, she doesn't intefere is kind, affectionate, I know I'm lucky to have her. Kids adore her too, she's a perfect nanna. Its summer here and we've been spending a lot of time at the beach especially this week as dh is back in work and as he works from home I get the kids up and take them to the beach so he can work in peace. I leave the house tidy, beds made, pots washed etc etc but mother in law often comes round and will hang washing out, sweep floors. I never ask her to do anything, for me should could sit and watch telly all day but always thank her and really do appreciate what she does. Once the kids are back in nursery things will get back to normal (ie will give house good spring clean)anyway ......this lunch time come home and mil has given the house a good sweep through, washed floors, tidied up outside etc, for which I was very grateful for. We're sat having kunch and BIL walks pass making comments about how we treat his mum like a slave, only using her for looking after the kids, to clean house etc. This isn't the first time he's said this and he's really peeved me off. He treats his mum like dirt, here she's treated with love and respect. I've just about had enough of him. DH says nothing, he's always defending him, on the odd occassion they have fallen out he's soon forgetting all about it. I don't want him to fall out with his brother but maybe stand up for me once in a while would be nice. I'm so angry and frustrated. Sorry if this is a huge rant !!

OP posts:

clapton · 30/08/2007 14:19

Is it possible your BIL is envious of the relationship you have with MIL and also envies you and your husband for the family life you do have?

Your MIL probably loves to spend time at your house, to see the children and spend time with you all. Perhaps also she wants to escape BIL?


frazzledbutcalm · 30/08/2007 14:21

I kinda have the same prob with my SIL only nowhere as bad as you really. If BIL says anything to you just calmly explain that you don't expect MIL to do chores etc. He prob does it more because he knows it winds you up. also i would talk to MIL and explain what BIL says and ask her if she feels the same towards you ie youre just using her etc. Im sure she sees things the same way you do and you can therefore tell BIL next time that actually his mum doesn't agree with his sentiments. Does that make sense?


RedLorryYellowLorry · 30/08/2007 14:22

Ues you are perfectly reasonable to want to smack him in the mouth She obviously prefers being with you and you family and gets pleasure from being included. He's a jealous old sod and best ignored. Next time he makes a comment smile and wave and then ignore him.


NAB3 · 30/08/2007 14:24

It sounds like you and your MIL have a lovely time together and a great relationship. Tell your BIL to stop being so silly.

BTW I am hugely jealous. Our first child was conceived in Sicily and I would really love to live there.


michymama · 30/08/2007 14:25

Yes I think he is. I've tried so hard to make him feel welcome here. Only this easter we had a huge argument and I felt bad afterwards so I called him and said "lets sit down and talk and sort this out once and for all". He came round and sat for an hour tellling me how I pretended to be a nice person but really I used people to get what I want. He was always in the right, nobody understood him and it was un fair that I gave my family so much attention when they came to visit !!!????
Him and DH were brought up by their grandparents and were pretty much alone from the age of 17. DH worked to support both of them before going to uk for 7 years. When we came back here (we met whilst he was in uk) i think BIL though dh wouold carry on taking care of him but he didn't and i thnk he resents me for that. He had a good wife but she left him 2 years ago after he made her life hell, she's now moved on very happily. I think he's very bitter. I've tried to keep out of his way but him living so close its hard.

OP posts:

michymama · 30/08/2007 14:36

Sorry cross posted !! I did chat to MIL as she was sat with us when he made the comments. She said to ignore him , you know what he's like. I'm happy to think MIL is happy and relaxed here, she's had a tough life and deserves to be treated nice and loved.
NAB3 - where abouts in sicily did you concieve then ?? I had 2 kids one after the other, its the sea air, good fun, good wine and dhs sexy accent !!!!
Thanks ladies feeling much calmer now !!

OP posts:

krang · 30/08/2007 17:31

Your MIL sounds lovely and very like my own mum. Whenever she comes round she always does loads of things that I don't even think of asking her to and I am constantly telling her 'you don't have to do that!'. It makes her happy - she looks thirty years younger when she plays with my DS. That kind of relationship with a mum or mother-in-law is so wonderful, don't let some eejit spoil it.


corblimeymadam · 31/08/2007 09:42

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