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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To take my maternity leave this early?

45 replies

GreyAndCopper · 18/01/2020 15:33

I've asked to take my maternity leave at 32 weeks because I am so bloody unhappy in my job right now. I'm 26 weeks 4 days and just can't wait. I've been off sick for a couple of weeks due to gastritis and severe fatigue (I also have a chronic illness which makes this even worse).

But is this too early? Every woman I've spoken to has taken it around 36 weeks and I wonder if I should do the same? Has anyone else taken their maternity this early?

And also - what is there to do with this time off?

OP posts:

knittedgoldfish · 18/01/2020 15:36

That's potentially 2 months with nothing to do. I can't think of anything worse personally. Perhaps you could use the time to consider very seriously how to retrain / find another job for when you go back, and take steps to do that? Otherwise you'll end up back in the job when your baby is younger and you will presumably hate the job just as much if not more.

MrsJBaptiste · 18/01/2020 15:37

I finished at 38 weeks but only because work wouldn't let me carry on until 40 weeks. However I like my job and wanted to take all my maternity leave when I had my baby rather than sitting around at home waiting for them to arrive.

I was gutted as I finished at 38 weeks and he came at 42 weeks which meant I only had 5 months maternity leave until i was back at work. You ladies don't realise how lucky you are these days getting 9 months leave!

LatteLover12 · 18/01/2020 15:37

I suppose the reason so many women work as long as they can is so they can have longer with their baby after he/she is born.

If you're happy you won't have to rush back to work earlier then you'd like because of beginning your leave at 32 weeks then do it!

What to do with the time? Read in peace, go for a maternity massage, enjoy coffee shops and hot meals in peace. Did I mention enjoy the peace??

Good luck with the new arrival OP

SundayMorningSun · 18/01/2020 15:38

I had to use up my remaining holiday before I could go on mat leave, so I was off from 34 weeks (real mat leave from 37 weeks). Do it and enjoy yourself!

I was increasingly immobile from 36 weeks, and there was a massive heatwave anyway, so there was really no point working. I couldn't string two thoughts together.

I cleaned the house (though the cheeky thing didn't arrive till 42 weeks, so it got dirty again), stocked the freezer, took lots of naps and baths, had my hair cut, and just generally looked after myself. I also saw lots of friends who live a bit further away, as I might not have seen them for a while.

Also got a head start on the next two months worth of birthday cards/presents so I didn't have to remember later!

Just enjoy yourself - why not. If you've been feeling poorly anyway the rest will do you good.

OhWellThatsJustGreat · 18/01/2020 15:39

Not at all unreasonable, I did it, I finished at 30 weeks because I was suffering from severe brain fog and concentration issues, it was really impacting the quality of my work. I took my 4 weeks annual leave as I hadn't taken any holiday and then my mat leave started at week 34.
I would say plan stuff to keep yourself occupied otherwise you could get very bored very quickly.

Narcheska · 18/01/2020 15:40

Spends how much time you're planning to have off. If you go really early then you'll have less time with baby after.

I went at 38 weeks with my eldest he was late came at 42 weeks so i only had 5 months with baby before I had To go back.

If you have any other leave you can use up I'd do that first

Original poster

GreyAndCopper · 18/01/2020 15:41

Sorry, should have provided more context. I'm a freelance writer. Working my second job still during KIT days, and will continue to do that after baby is born but only one day every two weeks so that I can get 20 weeks of work in. I won't be going back to job for a long time if at all during maternity, and don't need to re-train for a new job as I write for lots of publications. I guess I'm more feeling bad that most new mums go longer than me and I feel lazy. But I'm really feeling unhappy.

OP posts:

Willow4987 · 18/01/2020 15:45

I finished at 29 weeks as I was planning on leaving before the second pregnancy so needed to be home for my DS as we didn’t have childcare post this date

With my first I went at 36 weeks as I just couldn’t do it anymore and was exhausted.

It’s totally your call though - if you feel ready then do it. But it can be boring waiting for baby to arrive. But flip side is you get a lot of time to rest which will go out of the window a bit when the baby arrives

SoloMummy · 18/01/2020 15:45

I had a really hard pregnancy and decided to take annual leave from 32 weeks and then officially started maternity leave at 38 weeks.

If you're struggling pregnancy wise, it maybe better to get signed off if you get full pay and then be forced to start maternity leave at 36 weeks if you don't have any annual leave to use up?

Fwiw it was a great decision for me as I'd had a hard time, continued to and so reduced my stress levels not going to work. Plus meant I could enjoy my last child free days.

coconuttelegraph · 18/01/2020 15:46

I don't understand your work situation but when you start your maternity leave is personal to you, I would have hated to finish so early and I don't think I know anyone who did either but if it works for you then you should do it, it really doesn't matter what other women do.

Massivetree · 18/01/2020 15:47

Baby number 1, I was due to start Mat leave at 36 weeks but was signed off at 34 weeks due to SPD. Baby number 2 I had SPD even worse and had to finish at 32 weeks. Don’t feel guilty. Just do what is right for you.

tiredandgrumpy · 18/01/2020 16:01

Dc1 I finished at 32 weeks. He then arrived 9 days late. I was so bored. Can you take holiday say every Wednesday instead so you don't do a full week? Might that feel better?

Butterfly02 · 18/01/2020 16:05

Ds I finished at 38 weeks had him at 39+6 I wanted to finish later but was policy 16 years ago.
Dt was signed off sick at 30 weeks was then put onto mat leave at 36 weeks but had them at 37.
If your ill and signed off sick don't go on maternity leave early wait till work transfer you over. If not I'd advise putting it in for as late as possible because you can always go off sooner if you can't manage but can't stay on if you change your mind.
I'd also say going back at 6 months with my first (that was the entitlement at the time) was far too early for me.
Every ones different how will you feel about going back to work earlier if you took more time off before?

PsuedoSatisfactionBaby · 18/01/2020 16:06

The earliest you were able to take maternity leave in my job was 11 weeks before due date. DC1 I loved my job and worked up to 37 weeks. Went back after mat leave to a new line manager who was awful and made my life a misery. When I got pregnant with DC2 I decided to go off as early as I could...so went at 29 weeks 😁 I had a glorious time...don’t regret it at all. While I was on mat leave there was yet another restructure and I asked for VR which I got...I was very fortunate to get a years salary pretty much when my mat pay ended. Even without that, I loved having that time at home before my second was born without the stress of a horrible work environment. Good luck op...do what is best for you and baby

AlpacaGoodnight · 18/01/2020 16:29

Due to the way my holidays fell I was off from 28 weeks with my first and 32 with my second. It was fab!!

haveuheard · 18/01/2020 16:35

I was off from 27 weeks - was signed off for a week, then it was half term (I was teaching!) then I took mat leave at 29 weeks. However, I was very sick - hospitalised twice so realistically on bed rest anyway for some of that. My employer were really unhelpful, and I had a commute that was a min of 50 mins and often up to 1.5 hours. It was a fixed term contract and so I definitely wasn't going back after. Second child, with better managed sickness (I was more insistent and Dr put me on better meds) and more sympathetic workplace I worked until 36 weeks.

Tiddlertoddler · 18/01/2020 16:37

I did, finished up around 29 weeks, had five weeks holidays so really mat leave started at 34 weeks. Couldn't have been happier with my choice, I was severely anaemic and was just exhausted, I was struggling as I also had a long commute and a lot of responsibilities at work which I didn't feel I was fulfilling. I had plenty to do during that time sorting out babies nursery, washing all her clothes/towels/bedding, meeting friends, napping and making the most of having free time. I also ended up having additional docs

Tiddlertoddler · 18/01/2020 16:38

... sorry pressed send too early, I ended up having extra doctors appointments due to baby being large so was having extra scans and tests, at one point had three appointments in a week which I would not have been able to fit in with work.

rottiemum88 · 18/01/2020 16:42

I finished work at 29 weeks with DS as was so uncomfortable working at a desk. Went back to work slightly earlier as a result when he was just short of 8 months, no regrets at all. Do what works for you.

FWIW - I never struggled to find enough to do before he arrived 🙄

peachgreen · 18/01/2020 16:48

Go off go off go off. Sleep as much as you can, batch cook, get organised, go to the cinema, get your hair cut, get your nails done, go shopping, drink coffee in nice cafes, have nice meals out etc. Enjoy it!

Oct18mummy · 18/01/2020 16:51

It’s too early. You will regret it when you have to go back 2 months earlier and leave baby if that’s your plan. Saying that though I went on maternity 3 days before I was due and it wasn’t enough time to relax before baby arrived. I think 38 weeks is a good time.

Original poster

GreyAndCopper · 18/01/2020 17:00

Sorry, I didn't mention I don't think I'll be going back. Really miserable doing the work I am and I make more money from my second gig which I have just been offered an ongoing contract for and who want me to apply for an editing job when I decide to go back to work.

OP posts:

Wattagoose90 · 18/01/2020 18:33

If you're not going back and it's making you that unhappy, it's a no brainer, absolutely take maternity leave at 32 weeks. Assuming this is your first baby, enjoy your time doing absolutely naff all with that time would be my advice! Take long baths, walk places if you can. Go out on date nights, get a pedicure. Do all the things that are going to be that little bit more difficult with a baby! Everything changes so invest your time into you, indulge yourself.

Lipperfromchipper · 18/01/2020 18:40

I took mine at 29 weeks simply because I wanted to...and because I knew I wouldn’t be going back. It’s totally up to you OP. That was when I was expecting my first so in my mind it was my last chance to just “be me” EVER!! I was lucky to be able to afford it though. If you can then I highly recommend it!! Best of luck!

puds11 · 18/01/2020 18:42

I left at 34 weeks. Used holiday for 3 weeks then mat. I did have an outdoors job that I couldn’t really do and was convinced I’d go into labour early. I didn’t, the bugger was late, but I don’t regret leaving when I did as I was sick throughout and couldn’t sleep very well at night. I was also in pain from sitting at a desk.

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