Graduation

[dontbelonginherworld]

I've got to go to graduation for me child but I'm worried cos it's a university with loads of wealthy families who are different to us none of us have been to university in our family and I'm worried there is gonna be parents in posh clothes and stuff but we are on benefits and have no cash for the fancy stuff so will be in everyday clothes. We don't belong in that world and I don't want to show them up by looking bad next to the other parents. I don't know what to do. I'm a single parent and can't help feel it's going to be all yummy mummies and daddies in their expensive clothes and cars and I'll be looked down on.

If your child got a degree then you do belong in that world.

It doesn't matter what you wear as long as you go, but you do need to be there for your child. If you need a new outfit would charity shops be an option? Could you borrow an outfit? Or hire one?

Universities have a huge mix of people from all sorts of backgrounds.
Clothes are likely to smart casual but again there will be a mix.
It doesn't need to be new, EBay is always worth a look if you don't have anything that fits in that description.
A graduation is one of those events like a nativity play where everyone is focused on the small bit their own dc has.
Car are all going to be parked miles away I would think, Universities never seem to have anywhere to park.

No one will be looking at you OP..... much less hoiking the label out of your collar.

I've seen people at graduations wearing all sorts, don't worry about it.

Have you seen any graduation pics? No one is super dressed up. Majority of people come in smart causal. Trousers and blouse, or a simpler dress and cardigan will do you perfectly.

No one will be looking at you. I went to the poshest university going and at my graduation - no one was looking or caring about anyone else and people were just wearing normal clothes as far as I know (I didn't check labels). Wear what you would wear to go to a friend's birthday party - smart casual. There won't be people wearing black tie.

You'll probably be taking lots of pictures with the recent graduate so your only real consideration should be what you'll want to remember yourself looking like when you look back at the photos.

At my son's graduation there were people in jeans and then people in smart casual clothes. No one was really dressed. "up" and no one looked out of place. Just go and enjoy being the proud mum. Honestly, no one will pay you any attention ki mean that kindly) because they will be too wrapped up.in their own child.

I work at a uni with a high proportion of middle-class students. It gave me (a single parent myself) great delight on graduation day to go along the queue asking for single people... We had a lot of single seats really ner the front so we took a good few single mothers past rows of narky couples with a worse view, to the best seats. I hope you are treated with respect by everyone and that your child will introduce you to friends' parents. Hold your head up high. You won't be the only person in that position and you should be particularly proud your child has achieved this with your lone parenting. Some women wear big hats but they're in the minority. Don't let these worries spoil your child's big day.

When my dd graduates this year I can guarantee you we will not be going dressed in posh clothes. Smart casual all the way for us. I'll wear a pair of 7/8 trousers probably because I love them and a blouse.

Seriously don't worry about everyone else, you're not going to see these people again. Just wear something you're comfortable in and happy to be seen in for the photos that will be taken.

Thank you you are all lovely. It's Durham so quite posh. I've got some black trousers and was going to wear them with a bright top and waterfall cardi and flat pumps if that would do. I hope not to be in photos but I will take ones of her.

Strange thing to get delight out of Brendan

They might have been attending alone but that says nothing about their circumstances. Says more about you.

OP congrats to your dc and agree, wear what you like and be proud.

Sounds like a perfect outfit to me op. I'll also be wearing flats because my feet aren't happy in any type of heel.

Sounds perfect, please do get a photo with your daughter though. I have my graduation photo with my family up in my flat because their support is what enabled me to graduate in the first place. It's a proud memory, make sure you have a photo.

I have been to 2 graduation ceremonies and I can honestly say that I did not notice what anyone else was wearing. Be proud of your child for doing so well and have a lovely day!

As others have said, don't worry people won't be looking at what you're wearing at all. I think for my graduations, I wore nothing other than black trousers and a white shirt. Both from Dorothy Perkins. Nothing smart at all. Can't remember what my folks wore.

Just go and enjoy the day and remember that no one will be looking at you. Everyone will be focussed on their child only. You might meet the parents of your child's friends, but that's all.

It sounds like a lovely outfit, please do get some photos though, if only for you to keep. Universities have a wide variety of people in them from all backgrounds, you should be so proud and enjoy the day.

You will be fine whatever you wear. My son graduated last year from a London uni and there was a teal mixture of clothing..some fromother cultures which were brightly coloutlred and looked fab. The cardigan idea is really good because it got very warm in the hall we sat in so layers

Sounds like a great outfit to me. And great to have a child graduate from university! You must be so proud. Over two thirds of the students at Durham are from state school so the common factor is the kids are bright, not the parents are rich.

Congratulations! You must be sooooo proud! Enjoy your moment! I'm so sad you feel like this though. My son is at Durham. Admittedly we're affluent but we're not posh. I would think that all parents at the graduation would be full of pride, not judging others on a financial basis. You're all there for exactly the same achievement. If anything you've achieved even more. X

I attended my eldest son's graduation dressed in primarni and charity shop clothes. I didn't notice what other parents were wearing. Instead of worrying, be proud that you've helped your child achieve a degree and be in that photo, you deserve it.

Brendan that's very strange. Hope that chip on your shoulder isn't dragging you down. Perhaps everyone should be ranked by you according to their circumstances?

I've been to two graduations at Durham (family members). You honestly have nothing to worry about. The outfit you've described sounds absolute perfect. Enjoy the day!

There is one thing I would recommend you wear.... waterproof mascara.

Congratulations on your DC's graduation, you must be incredibly proud!

I went to a graduation at Durham and wore a fitted dress that was a bit 'wedding guest'. Tbh I felt overdressed. Next time I went to a graduation I wore a linen summer dress and nice sandals which shredded my feet. I felt more comfortable.
My advice is to get comfy shoes. You won't be able to park anywhere near the graduation ceremony so you will be walking lots. Durham is very cobbly iirc.

Nobody will notice what you're wearing OP