to completely disown my mother

[BWaldorf]

I have two brothers, one older, and one younger.

This all started when my dad passed away and my mother gave complete reign of our family business to my younger brother. My mother also transferred to his name our ancestral home and our farm. The understanding was, when the time came, the inheritance will be split among us three children.

We found out that my brother sold the farm without telling us. Apparently he asked permission from our mother. Now, he said it's because he needs the money to save the family business. Note: I never got any money from any earnings of our family business, I've been independent since my father passed away.

My brother offered to split the earning 4-ways: each of us will get the same x amount, but he asked if he could use the money and start paying us off starting in 2023. He also said everything else (properties) will be split equally.

I agreed because I do not need the money now, and I live abroad anyway.

So my mother comes in and said, she should get half, and the half will be divided among three children. then she will give her half to my younger brother, so essentially my younger brother will have her half, plus 1/3 of the other half.

I feel so bad about this because clearly my mother is still exercising favouritism. I understand that it is her money to give, but my brother essentially got everything except for some small properties. He got the money in the bank (a big amount), insurance money, the family business (which is worth more than all our properties combined!), and our ancestral home is in his name!

AIBU if I completely delete my mother from my life?

You might find it useful to list to R4's The Archers, they cover this sort of thing.

Are you planning to cut off either or both brothers, too?
It reads like you are falling out over money, and sibling rivalry.
You tell us if those are good reasons to go NC. No one can decide that for you. They don't have to live it.

FWIW I have a friend who fled an forced marriage, ~12 yrs later her family made contact with her again, but said she'll inherit nothing (her sisters get little more, the brothers get almost all). Friend was very upset but came to accept this b/c she wants to have physical & emotional contact with extended kin. She decided their money doesn't matter. That's how she made peace with the situation. You have to find your own way.

No, not planning to cut off ties with my brothers.

How are you not furious with your younger brother?

Your mum is showing extreme favouritism here but he seems to be lapping it up. What does your other brother think? Have you straight out asked your mother why little brother should get so much more than the rest of you?

How are you not furious with your younger brother?

I was, I am, but at least he offered a fair-ish solution.

"Have you straight out asked your mother why little brother should get so much more than the rest of you?"

She always says it's because he's the youngest. Like wtf?!

What does it mean to have an ancestral home? I mean, what do you mean by that?

What does your other brother think?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ancestral_home

It’s all fucked up and wrong. Just remember the favouritism in her later years

What does your other brother think?

Of course he thinks it's unfair. But among us children, he is the least-liked by my mother. He grew up being beaten up by my mother everyday, for the littlest of reasons. I think in my mother's twisted mind, he was the reason she got married early because she got pregnan. He ended up getting married early too, and of course my mother gave him hell for that. I even suspect my mother is partly to blame for the failure of my brother's marriage because she was always picking a fight with his ex-wife. For some reason though (or maybe because he always longed for it), he still has a soft spot for her. Maybe some sort of Stockholm syndrome-like situation.

My mother generally never cared about me (but was always negative when my dad wanted to give me expensive gifts like when he promised me a car when I finished a big graduation - never got the car, found out it was because she blocked it; my younger brother got a new car as early as when he was legally allowed to drive) but I was always the independent one.

Ok OP, your update really helps make the situation more clear! So she is a horrible, abusive woman. I'm so sorry. I wouldn't blame you at all for cutting her off in this case, I hope you and your brothers manage to stick together though

I agree she is a horrible and abusive woman. Can’t you wait until she dies and sort it out with your brothers?

Can’t you wait until she dies and sort it out with your brothers?

this was what we thought was gonna happen until my brother sold the farm out of the blue.

I hope you and your brothers manage to stick together though flowers

Thank you. Yeah, I don't want to cut ties with my brothers (even my younger brother - could it be that I also have Stockholm syndrome? :D :D :D) but I'm done with her.

Maybe it's time to move north, I hear that the woolpack is in a nice rural village.

We need to know more. Is it Longleat? Blenheim?

Sorry to disappoint you ladies, but my family is in another country.