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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Grand Theft Auto

73 replies

SteeperThanHell · 18/01/2020 11:22

My 12 years claims that I am absolutely ruining his social life by not allowing GTA in our home.

He assures me that all his friends have it and he is becoming some sort of social outcast.

Am I being unreasonable? Or has it somehow changed since the last time I researched and no longer has prostitution, sex, violence, strip clubs and bank robberies.

OP posts:
PineappleDanish · 18/01/2020 12:01

RDR2 has a different "feel" about it. It's set 100 years ago for a start, it's a step out of your everyday life to run about the Wild West. Same as Fallout - set 200 years in the Future - and Skyrim, which is medieval/Scandinavian setting. Those are fantasy whereas GTA is present day which can make it more "realistic".

All games are 18s though and not designed for children.

ChachyFace · 18/01/2020 12:02

I won't have it in the house either. It's vile. My DSs are 17 and 12. I've had years and years of asking/ nagging/ persuading... even a bit of sulking. I'm very amenable to discussion in all other areas of their lives. They've got lots of other games with fighting and violence but I cannot understand how any child could think GTA 'entertainment'.

Original poster
SteeperThanHell · 18/01/2020 12:15

Thank you for all comments - would love to hear more from the 29% who think I'm being unreasonable.

He's currently under his duvet sulking and can stay there all day if that is what floats his boat - if this is his level of maturity then it's no wonder I won't let him play.

He's mentioned a couple of friends who have the game and I know one of the parents quite well so I may slip in to conversation.

He knows my opinion of the game so I have no idea why he keeps on trying.

As for letting a 6 year old play @starlink - you must be so proud...

Wondering if I should hand over the just made sausage sandwich or eat it myself?

OP posts:
Original poster
SteeperThanHell · 18/01/2020 12:16

@PineappleDanish that is thing it is too real and too possible. We have the StarWars game - I think it's a 16 and I am ok with that.

OP posts:
UndertheCedartree · 18/01/2020 12:19

@WeeSleekitTimerousMoosey - that's interesting what you say about anime - I wasn't particularly aware of that. However, I know communities like that exist for Disney, aswell. I let my children watch Disney and Studio gibli children's films and play the games and read the books. They aren't in a fetish community or at risk of that for doing that, I don't think.

UndertheCedartree · 18/01/2020 12:21

I've played GTA - loved it as an older teennager/young adult. I still wouldn't let my 12 year old play it.

Sonichu · 18/01/2020 12:24

"'d be far, far more worried about a 12 year old getting into anime and manga type games given all the fetishists that lurk in those communities."

What are "anime/manga type games"? And I've been into manga and anime since the 90s- what fetish is it I'm supposed to have?

WeeSleekitTimerousMoosey · 18/01/2020 12:31

You aren't 'supposed' to have a fetish, if you have any sense you will however be aware of the existence of things like hentai and protect your children from being lured down such rabbit holes by advocates who seek to groom children who are into anime.

Your child is much more likely to encounter such dubious characters playing anime games than realistic ones. That's all I'm saying.

NaviSprite · 18/01/2020 12:34

I’m an avid gamer and a pretty open minded person but I won’t play GTA and would not let my DC play them until I know they’re mentally mature enough to understand that some of the content is not okay to normalise (if that happens and if they want to - they’re only 2 so I do wonder what the equivalent game will be when they’re older!).

As for anime/manga games there are some pretty questionable ones out there (I’ve been collecting Manga since I was 11) but JRPG’s are usually fine so a bit of an over-generalisation there IMO.

Armadilloboss · 18/01/2020 12:36

I believe him entirely that his friends play it. When I was in primary school, my friends used to be allowed to watch South Park, Harry Enfield, etc. One girl was really into horror movies and collected Halloween memorabilia. My mum let me watch them so I wasn’t left out in school. Watched a few episodes. Got bored, moved on.

UndertheCedartree · 18/01/2020 12:49

@WeeSleekitTimerousMoosey - obviously I'm aware of such things as I said. But I think fetish occurs across all types of games. That's why I specifically mentioned Disney. But the games my DC play aren't online and they watch the children's films and read the books at home - they discuss them with friends their own age so I don't think they are particularly vulnerable.

SameOldHorrorStory · 18/01/2020 12:53

Stick to your guns (ha!) OP. GTA 6 is rumoured for a release this year.

It’s why it surprises me that he’s sulking about GTA 5. It’s a good game and I have no doubt people still play it but it’s almost 7 years old.

virginpinkmartini · 18/01/2020 12:58

If my child said 'all my friends have it', I would respond with 'all your friends parents are idiots.'

Hotpinkangel19 · 18/01/2020 13:01

I'm glad you posted this, I've had the same conversation/arguments with my own 12 year old son, who since starting high school has been asking for GTA - nope, not happening. I'm quite reasonable I think, I did research etc and it's really not in my opinion suitable for a 12 year old. So for now I'll be the mean parent!

SquareAsABlock · 18/01/2020 13:06

I've just finished replaying GTA V, it's a brilliant game with very dark satire and social commentary. I'd not let any of my children play it until they were at least 16 though, and probably not until they were old enough to legally buy it themselves. It's one of those things where you actually have to understand the themes beyond the usual hysteria that those who've never played the series come out with. Same with any other dark entertainment, such as Game of Thrones.

TL;DR: your child is definitely to young for this game.

Sonichu · 18/01/2020 13:27

"You aren't 'supposed' to have a fetish, if you have any sense you will however be aware of the existence of things like hentai and protect your children from being lured down such rabbit holes by advocates who seek to groom children who are into anime.

Your child is much more likely to encounter such dubious characters playing anime games than realistic ones. That's all I'm saying."

Better not let them watch TV either; seeing people will lead them onto porn. 🙄

(Still don't know what an anime game is)

UndertheCedartree · 18/01/2020 13:36

@sonichu - I don't think it is officially called an anime game but I used it to mean Japanese games like Ni No Kuni where the graphics look like anime films.

ExEUCitizen · 18/01/2020 13:56

I’m a gamer -Skyrim, Fallout - and my DH loves the early GTAs. I refused to have that one in the house. It pushes all of that highly violent macho misogynistic crap at kids. I’d like to see these studies app mentioned showing that such things have no effect when there are many more that show they do - plus the common sense knowledge that we are a social species whose behaviour is determined by the culture we see around us. Britain is becoming more violent, particularly against girls and women. The culture we’re raiding our kids in is why, and that includes this kind of shite.

It’s disgusting that some people are so ignorant that they’d let 6 yr olds play it and accept it as normal - but that’s clearly why there’s such a problem.

ExEUCitizen · 18/01/2020 13:57

Raising our kids in, not raiding. Too many game conversations on my phone!

BadLad · 18/01/2020 13:58

It's a brilliant game. The whole series is great, which is why GTAV is the most commercially successful game ever.

Not for children, though. Stick to your guns.

ChasingRainbows19 · 18/01/2020 14:07

I work With young people. Trust me it's not unusual for some to play games way inappropriate for them, I'm talking much younger too and GTA is probably one of the worst. I'm sorry it's not appropriate for a 6 year old to be playing 15/18 rated games it's ridiculous! ( not op another post)

You are his parent you decide no one else. Life sometimes isn't fair. But keep your kids safe is my advice. Some of his friends will be allowed and some won't be. I meet teens that aren't allowed consoles and those that have them at 3 years old.

RightOnTheEdge · 18/01/2020 14:13

I used to work in a school and during a safeguarding meeting the headteacher told us that if we knew of any of the kids playing games such as GTA we had to report it as the school would be concerned about it. So to be "meh" about a 6yr old playing it is pretty terrible.

My 7yr old ds nags about it all the time no matter how many times I say absolutely not it drives me mad.
YANBU OP (I want a sausage sandwich now)

firstimemamma · 18/01/2020 14:16

Yanbu. It's an awful, awful game that I'd ban outright in a heartbeat if I had the power.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 18/01/2020 14:17

I've played it. Wouldnt like DD 12 playing it. She's shown no interest in it either.

Ravenfeet · 18/01/2020 14:27

I love GTA and spent many hours on Vice City as a teenager but I don't think I would let a 12 year old play it. Maybe a 15 or 16 year old.

Something like Skyrim I wouldn't have a problem with, so it's not the violence exactly, more the misogyny and machismo. And the torture mission in GTA V, defended as satire, went over the mark for me. I think there is actually a lot of good satire in the series but I wouldn't expect a 12 year old to get it.

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