Help settle an argument (light hearted)

[cosytoes87]

My parents put £200 in a card for Christmas. The card was to both myself and my husband. They have always given me money for both my birthday and Christmas in lieu of gifts since I was 16 as they hate shopping. I usually buy clothes, make up or a handbag out of it or sometimes pay off my credit card if I've spent too much in the lead up to christmas. They also gave my husband a Christmas present.

My husbands parents buy him Christmas presents and they will get me a small token gift like a candle.

My husband thinks the £200 cash is to be shared between the pair of us as it was in a card addressed to both of us. I don't agree with him as the £200 is the same amount I have received since I was 16 and they bought him a separate present.

To be fair I have told him as we are in the process of doing up our room I'd put it towards furniture for us. He wants to buy a pair of runners which will cost nearly £100.

We each put a portion of our wages in to cover the mortgage and bills and we share any bonuses/gifts we receive in work.

Well if you are doing up your room and you want to put it towards that, that seems like the best option as it benefits both of you. But yes if he also got a gift from your parents and he got proper gifts and u got a token gift from his parents I would say that the money is more yours than his

Tell him not to be such a grabbing arse.

Let him have his £100 ... and then steal it back by taking small amounts from his wallet over a period of time.

If it's addressed to both it's for both .
Your parents are probably in the mind that couples money is jointly shared so you discuss together what you want to do with the money . Let him buy the trainers .

It’s yours, keep it.

I'd find it rude if my in-laws bought me a crappy/token gift, but gave OH something far more significant!!! That is what seems really odd to me.

I agree, use the money for room upgrade, and tell him to use his own money for his shoes. I think the money was just for you if he was given a gift.

You need a chat with your parents.

I think it's your money. They gave your husband a separate gift and it's the same gift you've been receiving all your grown up life. Doesn't matter this year as your spending it on a joint project but maybe next year ask your parents to transfer the money straight into your account.

If the money was sent to you jointly, then it would make sense to spend all on something that benefits you both jointly, such as the furniture for your room.

For him to take half of what, in the past, would have been entirely for you is grabby and means you're losing out.

The card was addressed to both of you because you're a couple. It doesn't sound as if your parents were sending the £200 to be divided equally between you as they bought him a separate present; it sounds like the £200 was your usual present and meant entirely for you.

I would ask them if I were you.

I certainly wouldn't be handing over half my christmas present to him for a pair of trainers.

As it is you're being very generous to want to spend it on furniture that he will benefit from as well when you could just go and buy something lovely that just benefits you.

Ask your parents if the card was just to you both and the money for just you, as normal. Which seems more likely.

Your husband sounds a bit mean about it to be honest.

PS as he has already received a present from both his parents and yours.

It's for both of you. Do something together with it.

Next year don't tell him.

Ask your parents?

All for you or for doing up your shared room. Your DH has already had presents from his and your parents.

Tbh if it was us, we would put it to one side towards a holiday or something - so knowing exactly whose it was wouldn't be so much of an issue.

I don't think either person should buy something for themselves - unless you split it 50/50 - from money received jointly. It was in the card addressed to you both. If it was just for you, it would have been in a gift envelope.

If it was just for you, it would have been in a gift envelope.

Are you one of the OP's parents? If not, how on earth can you claim to know that?

Ask your parents what they intended with the gift.
But I think your idea of furniture is best, your husband seems a bit grabby, as he's already had a present from them.

As an aside, his parents sound a bit stingy only giving you a token present, I would never do that with my DIL.

What's lighthearted about being married to a selfish prick?

Sorry, I'm really grumpy today, that may have been a bit abrupt I do think he sounds selfish and unkind here, and I imagine it's a trait that doesn't come out only once a year. He just doesn't sound very nice here.

I agree, clarify with your parents. I bet they put both names out of habit rather than intention, especially as he got another gift and you didn't and they usually give YOU £200.

My parents put £100 into my bank account but always make it clear, usually when we are talking on the phone prior to the deposit, that's it's £25 each for the 4 of us.

If yours bought him a present and gave you the same as always I would say it's yours.