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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Fetish boyfriend, disrespect?

12 replies

Wheetabix · 18/01/2020 09:35

Okay so me and my boyfriend have been together on and off for about 2 years. He has a foot, heel and Ball busting fetishism which I've never had a problem with but I've found out he's been searching for images of celebrities with heels and degrading quotes like 'crush his balls' 'youre not a man, I'm going to make you mine'
I'm certainly not a dominant person in bed but I am not opposed to it either, I feel I am open minded.
I've given him foot jobs and let him suck my toes, use them during sex etc. I don't feel I haven't tried to accommodate his need.
I don't wear heels very much and he's openly expressed he would like it if I did more often (but to me that defies the point of wearing what I want)
He wasn't open about the pictures he was oogling. When I questioned him why do you need to search this? His answer was 'he doesn't remember' doing it' lol alarm bells?
What's even worse, we have a child together, unfortunately she passed away at a day old and he was in hospital with me searching for them pictures 3 DAYS after her death, that feels the most utterly disrespectful disgusting behaviour of it all. I was in pain (csection baby) and greiving, he was looking for sexual gratification????!!!!
Funny thing is I wouldn't have a problem getting on the kinky side, but he doesn't seem interested or inquire about mine. Feels like I give and he takes. I don't want to stop his fetish, but he hasn't been open enough with me
Is there any relationship worth saving ?though I think I may of answered this for myself after writing this😣

OP posts:
MumW · 18/01/2020 09:39

Feels like I give and he takes.
Is there any relationship worth saving ?

Simple answer is NO.

Do you get anything out of this relationship?

AnnDaloozier · 18/01/2020 09:40

Why are you monitoring what he looks at

Sunsetandmoonlight · 18/01/2020 09:41

Wouldn’t be for me.

Kalifa · 18/01/2020 09:44

He is a weirdo, dump him. He doesn’t love you, he loves feet.

Oldishusernewname · 18/01/2020 09:44

I'm so sorry for your loss

I would find his behaviour in the hospital hard to forgive tbh

FrivolousPancake · 18/01/2020 09:45

I’m so sorry for you loss.

No he would turn my stomach, I’m not a prude but he sounds self centered and obsessed with his kink-not caring about yours.

madcatladyforever · 18/01/2020 09:49

Bloody hell OP I can't believe what I'm reading. 3 days after your baby died? That is absolutely awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you.
Personally I would call time on this relationship.
My ex was into fetish and the fetish came first before me, our home, our friends and relatives, everything.
People who are into this are very selfish and the fetish is their life and not you.
He won't ever change. If you are not into this stuff you are better off getting out now.
I refused to take part as I believe you should never be forced into doing anything sexually you don't want to. As a result he just dumped me after 20 years and went off to be a full time member of the fetish community and good riddance too.
In the long run you will be better off without him.

AnnDaloozier · 18/01/2020 09:50

‘He is a weirdo, dump him. He doesn’t love you, he loves feet.’ 😁

Fetish boyfriend, disrespect?
hidinginthenightgarden · 18/01/2020 10:08

I wouldn't have a problem with the fetish, only the fact that he was searching for those pics 3 days after you lost a baby. Unforgiveable really!

Sushiroller · 18/01/2020 10:51

Yanbu Run. Now.

DrinkSangriaInThePark · 18/01/2020 10:53

Why are you monitoring what he looks at

Thank fuck she is, or she wouldn't know that he was looking at it 3 days after their baby died.

Grow up.

Surplus2requirements · 18/01/2020 10:59

It does sound awful but seeking sexual relief is a common reaction in the early stages of grief.

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