Dd and a tattoo

[moolady1977]

So my DD us coming up 18 and has seen a tattoo she wants and has asked me to go with her and pay for it as her birthday gift which I don't have a problem with ,now unfortunately she has had a couple of miscarriages and the tattoo is in memory of the babies she lost ,her father my stbxh is saying no she can't have it done it's dwelling in the past she needs to live for the future and if she has it done she has to move out of the house (it's not his house it belongs to all 3 of the DC but is long story ) am I bu to tell him it's her choice and if he doesn't like it then it's tough and he needs to live with with it or risk our DD falling out with him

Get her the tattoo and a giant box of condoms.

To answer your actual question, no you’re absolutely not being unreasonable to tell him that. She’s an adult. It’s sod all to do with him.

And I am being incredibly nosy, so feel free to ignore, but if he’s your stbxh and doesn’t own any portion of the family home, why is he still living there and what on earth makes him think he’s got the power to throw anybody out?

Better a tattoo as a way of responding to her bereavement than another pregnancy.

And I'd suggest that the DC evict him, as it's their house, not his, to decide who lives under its roof.

On the second one, I think that's classic male misunderstanding of how to deal with grief and in particular how profoundly miscarriage affects (or at least can affect) women.

Agree with this whole heartedly.

YANBU, her dad needs to suck it up and how awful for your poor DD going through that

Many people see loss in teenage pregnancies as a relief/blessing (which I’m not completely in disagreement with in certain cases) but they also forget to see that it is still a loss and it is still very difficult to go through - especially when you don’t have the support and older woman would have to go through that.