My partner and I have been together for 7 years we have 2 children aged 4 and 7 months. The 7 month old refuses to go to anyone at all without getting extremely distressed, she's been like this for months which means that I haven't had a break in months. I am supposed to be going back to work next month and I can't see how it's going to happen. I am severely depressed, on antidepressants and plagued by suicidal thoughts; I need a break. But of course I can't get a break.
My partner works a hell of a lot which I am incredibly grateful for, however he does absolutely nothing in the way of housework or childcare, he also goes out with his friends fairly often but says he is 'helping them out' (by going to the cinema and drinking with them 
).
He has now said to me that he is depressed and needs a night out because he's earnt it and it's not fair that he can't go out just because I can't (I've never said he couldn't, I will admit I've been jealous when he does but I've never once tried to stop him). He's now arranged 2 nights out next month, I've been invited out on a night out but I can't go. I am angry, and jealous and upset. It is so pathetic but ive actually cried because i am so desperate for a break, i love my children but I am on my own with them almost 24/7 with no adult to talk to (my partner is either at work, out with his friends or on his phone or xbox which he doesn't like to be disturbed on because it's his time for himself). Am I being unreasonable to feel this way, or is he being unreasonable to not realise that I deserve a night off too?