To be so angry!

[UndertheCedartree]

I had a Child in Need meeting today and left shaking. These meetings are just horrible. Everything gets pulled apart and scrutinised often by people who have no idea what they are talking about!

It was overwhelming to start with as there were 9 other people there as well as myself and the children's father. My care coordinator had been asked to report back on the therapy and occupational therapy available in the community (I'm currently an inpatient at a psychiatric hospital) - she waffled along for ages but didn't actually say what was available. My social worker pushed her to give the information and she then gave more waffle. I asked her straight out what was available in the community and she started saying what did I think I needed as I'd already done so much. I had to explain it wasn't what I thought I needed that was important - it was what my psychologist/occupational therapist assessed me as needing. I haven't done 'so much' - I've done DBT in part to enable me to cope with further therapy to deal with my trauma. My social worker told her she had been sent all the reports. I will not be discharged until these things are in place but she is being a nightmare about it.

After talking about other things on the report (which we never get before the meeting despite me asking every time) the chair tried to end the meeting and I explained I had things I wanted to talk about. I was told there was no time. I was annoyed that the meeting is meant to be about the children but they hardley got mentioned because professionals were just wasting time and arguing. I wanted to speak about my DS's occupational therapy reports, my DS's need for his own room and the DC's routine and a few other bits about the children. They always talk about the children's 'wishes and feelings' but never seem interested unless it fits in with their agenda.

The thing that upset/angered me the most was there was some reference to domestic abuse by the children's father and one of the professionals asked me what I'd done to wind him up! I became so overwhelmed and had a bit of an emotional rant which probably made me look crazy. I have EUPD and it is so hard to cope with these things at time - I just couldn't stop shaking.

That sounds so difficult. I think you did really well to attend. From experience I gave up on having any expectation of social services responding to MY concerns. I think there is a phrase other people have used on here about dealing with professionals "just nod and smile" and I would advise that here, though its sad that it works that way.

@starpatch - thank you for your reply and it is interesting to hear your experience. SS became involved when I became unwell apparently to support the children and keep things stable for them while I was in hospital. But often they seem to be at the bottom of the agenda. The children's father is getting increasingly fed up with the meetings as we never get anywhere and each one is just going over the same things. He said he's not coming to the next one but I don't know how that will go down with SS.