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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be chasing up absence in winter!

28 replies

Buttonsandroses · 17/01/2020 14:48

Hi everyone. My child's nearly five so I know isnt legally at school age. Her school have just sent a letter out to say they are totalling up absence and all children currently below 95% will get a email sent out to warn parents and find out if there's anyway to help!

What annoys me is my child's had 6.5 days off since September. So hers looks about 91% on the attendance calculator I've got. I was hoping we could get it back up in a few weeks time. I don't think she's had a huge amount of time off.

One day in September for a fever
One in late september because she got travel sick on the way. I had to take her home incase it wasn't.
I sent her to school in November with a cold and got called to take her home. So I collected her. So she was registered in in the morning but not after lunch. I kept her off the next day too as she was still the same!

Then December she had one day off with a bad cold again and fever.

The two days before they finished for Christmas her toddler brother had flu. She had a mild thing going on runny nose and sore throat so just kept her off. Her brother was really weak and they had norovirus on class (yuck)
I've sent her to school the last two days with a horrible cold. I spoke to her teacher this morning and said I hate the feeling of forcing them into school when they havn't slept and are run down. Especially aged 4. But the schools make you feel it's going to be punished.

My daughter is never late. I think school is important. She has had a few days off for winter viruses! I think it's abit ridiculous bullying parents about attendance at this stage of the year. That means any child who has had four days off or more will get a letter. Surely over the spring and summer attendance improves massively.

The best bit of the letter says we can discuss ways to help you improve their attendance. Ermmmm yeah you could stop our children catching viruses in your setting. Maybe you can invent something to make them so robust they don't pick bugs up?

I think it's ridiculous. Stomach bugs can take 2-4 days to get over. Colds can give little ones fevers for a couple of days. Coughs can make children throw up. Tonsiltis takes a few days to recover from. Do they really expect kids to not have a few days sick over the winter? I bet my child will get a sick bug next. She usually gets them each winter. I think schools should back off and approach parents who kids are always late. Or at least when they have had ten days or more off. 6 days doesn't deserve a warning!

OP posts:
Oopsinamechangedagain2020 · 17/01/2020 14:50

Schools have to send out stuff like this to make it look like they take attendance seriously. Don't take it personally.

Drabarni · 17/01/2020 14:51

They have to send out stupid letters to appease government (Ofsted)
It's amazing how they don't bother about normal illnesses and days of sick at private schools.
Any contact tell them to fuck off. Not their fault they have to do it, but they chose the job, so part of the problem.

Hercwasonaroll · 17/01/2020 14:51

Attendance is monitored by central government. If its not good enough, ofsted will be called to inspect the school. That is why there is so much pressure on schools to have attendance above 95%.

Schools deal with the pressure by putting in place various interventions to encourage good attendance. Sometimes this is a letter/phonecall.

I'd ignore the letter.

formerbabe · 17/01/2020 14:55

I got a letter like that. Every single one of my dds absences was for medical appointments. The school knew this, they just had to send the letter to me. It's just something they have to do.

Deelish75 · 17/01/2020 14:59

I’ve just had the letter for DS, he’s now in Yr6, he’s had 5 days off (93.3%) he had something highly infectious which the school wouldn’t allow him in for. The annoying thing is he’s had over 98% attendance for the last 3 academic years so the school know he’s a skiver. I don’t blame the school they’re following government procedures but it’s annoying. Hopefully he’ll make it up over the next two terms - we’ll have to wait and see.

Deelish75 · 17/01/2020 15:00

Not a skiver

Pics · 17/01/2020 15:03

They send the letter out telling you it will go to everyone in this bracket precisely so you can see when you get the personalised one that they are not singling you out for any reason other than data. If they didn't people would feel much worse when they got the one with their name on it. They will follow up then if they need to. There is a small number of parents for whom support will be genuinely helpful.

Serendipity79 · 17/01/2020 15:05

My childrens school tells you to ignore the letters at this point in the year unless there is a real persistent absence issue. I've had one as my son had two sickness episodes between September and December. Both times he was sick at school and I had to go and fetch him home. Their own rule excludes him (rightly so) for 48 hours from last point of sickness so he's had 5.5 days off.

it cant be helped if they're poorly and they do tend to know in our school who the regular culprits are!

lanthanum · 17/01/2020 15:07

Statistically, most children will fall below this threshold at least once in their school career!

PermanentlyFrizzyHairBall · 17/01/2020 15:09

I wouldn't worry about it. You'll just get the email and delete it. Your child had fever and obviously couldn't be in school so there's nothing you need to do differently. It's not a virtue to send sick kids into school. In reception my eldest had loads of time off. I think the full time schedule and always being tired laid him open to catch everything. He also pukes easily (so often with a cough he'll have a puke and a fever for a few hours so that means 48 hours off). If I'd received anything from the school I'd have just described his symptoms and kept him home.

Butterfly02 · 17/01/2020 15:16

Please don't take it personally the school have to be seen to be taking action.
Our school have recently sent out last terms attendance and the reception class is a lot lower attendance than any other year group - their all getting used to the new bugs in a new environment, their also getting used to 5 days of school. It's accepted that this happens. Unfortunately dcs whole school life is going to be built around attendance you'll need to take it with a pinch of salt. I have two dc with relatively good attendance one who often dips into the 80s due to health issues and hospital appointments. I do get letters about it but I choose no longer to get upset and so does ds because we know he's doing his best and that's all you can ask.

ActualHornist · 17/01/2020 15:17

Honestly just chill out. They have to send these emails; nothing is going to happen and you don’t need to do anything.

elenacampana · 17/01/2020 15:21

Disregard the letter. They send them so they can use as evidence in their compliance folders - it’s nothing against you but would be a big problem for the school if they haven’t covered themselves.

If you want to complain to anyone, complain to Central Government and Ofsted.

JanuaryIsNotTheOnlyMonth · 17/01/2020 15:24

I once got that letter actually in the same envelope as the child's Get Well card from the whole class (appendicitis).

randomsabreuse · 17/01/2020 15:31

I assume one will be winging its way to me as DC1 has had chickenpox (4 days), runs (1 day and 1.5 days as end of week) plus vomiting bug (2 days). Not convinced there's not been something else as well and there will doubtless be more this year!

NameChangeNugget · 17/01/2020 15:33

It’s intended for many and not personally OP, all your reasons are valid so don’t worry.

They’re aiming at the people who take the piss out of free education

whyayepetal · 17/01/2020 15:53

OP - I completely get this, and felt the same when my children were at school. We once had a letter from secondary school asking us to “talk to your daughter” about her attendance (it was 81%). I did. I congratulated her on being well enough to have such great attendance after two years of a chronic long term illness and being unable to attend at all for a year. We had no support from the school, apart from one lovely head of year in the early stages who then left the school.

Ignore the letters OP, and just keep doing the right thing by your DD. She is your child - you are in charge. Flowers

Adoptthisdogornot · 17/01/2020 16:08

Just ignore it, it's a box ticking exercise, and not personal about you or your child. Honestly, wait a few years and you'll be much more chilled about this stuff. The problem parents are the ones who don't give a shit and kids are turning up less than 70% of the time, late every day etc. They drag the average down for the whole school which causes Ofsted problems. Honestly, don't sweat it.

Original poster
Buttonsandroses · 17/01/2020 16:17

Thanks all. It's just worded so poorly isn't it. I also think children in the infant's should have a lower target as it's scientifically proven the immune system is not fully developed until 7 I believe?
Expecting a 4-6 year old to have the same stamina as a 10-11 year old seems unfair.

It's also crazy they stress out parents with an actual medical issue. They should state that illness can't be helped.

I do understand some people take the pee. I'm sure there is a pattern to this behaviour. Also lateness isn't right! Especially if the kids in school but marked as missing registration. It just seems ridiculous and intimidating. Most of us feel bad enough keeping them off unwell.

OP posts:
mbosnz · 17/01/2020 16:20

I've been quite taken aback by this. Didn't have it in NZ. Having come over here, naturally enough, they (and we) have caught everything going.

So I understand they have to follow their procedures, and I follow my procedure. If my kids are sick, I keep them off, as per my child's best interests - and the community's.

ilovesooty · 17/01/2020 16:21

Any contact tell them to fuck off

Really @Drabarni ?

GotAGripHowAboutYou · 17/01/2020 16:29

I suppose they have to do this, to try and keep attendance up, but I do not understand the logic f this. Do they they think parents keep their dcs home for shits and giggles? For most parents, it's not exactly their dream day is it? Looking after their poorly DC all day, probably losing a day's holiday in the process.

I am sure I read somewhere though, that happy employees tend to take fewer sick days. Maybe they apply that logic to school attendance and it is a genuine offer; how can we make X happier at school, so that he is less likely to take sick days..? That's all I can think of.

Anyway, yanbu. She is 5 years old, not doing A levels. 6.5 days off isn't ideal, but you hardly chose for her to be sick. Letters aren't going to make her any less likely to catch viruses.

Hercwasonaroll · 17/01/2020 16:53

Do they they think parents keep their dcs home for shits and giggles?

Some parents do.

Some parents let students have a day off for a broken nail, or because it's PE that day, or because they don't like the science teacher, or because they have fallen out with a friend, or because they're going to be late so don't bother. Most parents don't, but a small minority do. These letters are proof the school has tried to do something. The school sends them to everyone so they aren't seen as discriminating.

gospelsinger · 18/01/2020 11:33

Just bin the letter

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 18/01/2020 11:40

Stomach bug -2 days
Impetigo- 3 days

I think that's all my daughter needed off last term... She's in Yr2.

In Yr1... Nothing in term1. Term 2- 4 days authorised holiday. 2 days Scarlet Fever. 1 day suspected bug. 6 days virus. Term 3... No days off.

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