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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is annoying and inefficient?

10 replies

ShutUPShutUPShutUP · 17/01/2020 14:09

Name changed just in case!

I work in an open plan office with a hot desk system. A big chunk of my workload comes from a particular senior manager who is not my boss. This SM is a pleasant person, I get on perfectly well with her and we have the odd chat about things we have in common, what we were up to at the weekend etc BUT. She doesn't seem able to shut up and let other people get on with their work.

My work involves finance spreadsheets, writing reports/papers, that sort of thing and generally needs a fair bit of concentration. We're not allowed to wear headphones because we all have to take occasional calls through Skype/headsets so I've developed the ability to get into a 'zone' to blot out noise and concentrate.

The problem is this manager constantly interrupts me - some days it's literally every few minutes, no exaggeration. She's one of those people who has to keep up a running commentary of her day which is bad enough but she insists on a response to her inane witterings! Every so often I'll hear her say my name, ask her to repeat what she said (because I'm otherwise trying to zone her out and 1 time in 20 she does actually talk about work) and it's something utterly inconsequential like her tea has gone cold before she finished it or she has to stop off on the way home to pick something up. I DON'T CARE!

Today I deliberately booked the least popular hot desk right by the office door, because sitting in a draught is preferable to listening to her, and bugger me, fifteen minutes later she plonks herself down at the desk opposite and said "I saw you sitting here all lonely and thought I'd come and keep you company." I'M NOT LONELY AND I DON'T NEED YOUR COMPANY.

I get that she's more of an extrovert who can easily talk and work but I'm not, I'm trying to concentrate and she just doesn't get it. I've tried ignoring her - she just repeats my name louder until it's impossible to ignore; giving non-committal grunts and 'mm-hmm's - she takes it as encouragement and witters on all the more, including the aforementioned demanding responses; downright telling her I'm concentrating on a piece of work she gave me - it doesn't deter her at all, she just starts asking me questions about my weekend plans or how my cat is. I've heard other people telling her they need to get on and she just laughs it off and carries on as normal. I tried mentioning it to my manager, but they're good friends and my LM just said something like "ahh well, you know what she's like, she means well".

I'm actually typing this hiding in the loo on my lunchbreak because it's raining too heavily to go out for a walk and I couldn't face sitting opposite her and being talked at when I'm not getting paid for it. I enjoy my job and as I say she is a nice person, she's funny and approachable but I don't know how I can get her to just SHUT UP without being rude and ending up as the one in the wrong.

OP posts:
ShutUPShutUPShutUP · 17/01/2020 14:10

Oh god, sorry that was so long - once I started venting I just couldn't stop!

OP posts:
2monstermash · 17/01/2020 14:11

As she is senior, why not ask her after one of her rants "is there somewhere private I can book to get this work done? I really need to get my head down"

Qwerty543 · 17/01/2020 14:12

That would drive me batshit crazy! I'd raise it more formally with your line manager. Say you have brought it up before but it's affecting your ability to concentrate on your job.

ShutUPShutUPShutUP · 17/01/2020 14:20

I forgot to add I work from home one day a week (I requested more but it was knocked back) and she invariably rings me "for a chat" - and it is just for a chat, she's not checking up on me. She's said a few times she finds it really lonely and boring WFH, so I think she assumes everyone else feels the same even thought I've said I love it and find it peaceful and conducive to concentration!

2monstermash we only have a couple of big board rooms and then some little pop-up pod-type things for 1-2-1s which aren't on the network.

Qwerty I think I'm going to have to, and hope it doesn't affect the otherwise good working relationship I have with her. She's great if she thinks you're 'onside' with her, but she has another side to her which I wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of.

OP posts:
ShutUPShutUPShutUP · 17/01/2020 14:24

I've taken to scouring SM's diary each day to see if/when she has meetings that I'm not involved in so I can look forward to some peace and quiet at my desk, and trying to book meetings of my own at times she's scheduled to be at her desk wherever possible - it's ridiculous.

My lunch break is over at 2.30...wish me luck as I head back into into the breach...

OP posts:
messolini9 · 17/01/2020 14:32

She's great if she thinks you're 'onside' with her, but she has another side to her which I wouldn't like to be on the receiving end of.

Really not surprised about that ShutUP.
NT people who fail to pick up signals, insist on being heard, & chatter on about personal twattery while other people are working are usually phenomenally self-centred.

She's using her seniority as a get out of jail free card which allows her to witter on at length without colleagues feeling able to shut her up.

Your line manager is no better & should be ashamed of her initial response to you. The Witterer is behaving unprofessionally, is annoying staff & impeding work process. Line Manager need to have a good think about professional boundaries & not allowing her friendship with Witterer to blur those boundaries.

You're going to have to raise this more formally, but in the meantime, try the broken record technique:
downright telling her I'm concentrating on a piece of work she gave me
"Witterer, I can't chat while I'm concentrating on this work"
"Witterer, as I just said, I can't chat because I'm working."
"Witterer, I don't have time to chat about non-work related topics right now"
"That sounds great Witterer, but I can't chat now"

You are going to have to make this your constant refrain & mantra. Yes, she will (eventually) notice, & yes it may cause ructions or frostiness ... but surely that's better than having to endure her incessant fuckwittery?

messolini9 · 17/01/2020 14:40

I forgot to add I work from home one day a week ... and she invariably rings me "for a chat" - and it is just for a chat, she's not checking up on me.

This would piss me right off. Especially as WFH is a privilege, which Witterer is compromising by trampling on your time & workflow.
Again - broken record, & don;t be afraid to be assertive:

"Are you calling about a specific piece of work, or just to chat again? I don't have time to chat."
"Witterer, I'm keen to get XYZ job done by 2pm, so are you ringing about that, or any other work you need done? No? Going to have to say bye for now then, as I need to get back to XYZ job."

& raising the game a little -
"Witterer, I am WFH, I need to justify the way I use my time to Line Manager, I do not have time to talk about anything non work-related."

& even dialling all the way up to -
"Witterer, this is the Xth time you have called me for non work-related chatter, I am concerned that you have not heard me every time I have asked you to stop doing this, & am going to have to raise it as an issue with Line Manager."

Namenic · 17/01/2020 14:40

Why are you not allowed headphones? We have to do Skype calls but you can just use the headphones to listen to music or whatever?

NoSquirrels · 17/01/2020 14:45

You need some sort of visual signal - like the headphones - that means you are unapproachable.

To get through to her without offence, I think you need to make it all about you, and not about her. And appeal to her as if you think she can solve your "problem" - if she's self-centred she'll go for it e.g.

"I wanted to ask your advice. You're so lucky, being able to chat and still concentrate. I find it throws me off my stride and I make mistakes. I'm REALLY sorry if I ever looks like I'm ignoring you - it's just that I'm in the zone concentrating. I just can't talk when I'm doing that. I do worry I'm offending people when it looks like I don't respond. I guess if I could wear headphones it would be more obvious to everyone I couldn't hear them - maybe I should have some sort of sign made! What do you think?"

I do agree your manager is a bit shit though!

pineing · 17/01/2020 14:50

Print out a large sign that reads:

DO NOT DISTURB

and prop it up on your desk. Point to it whenever she interrupts you.

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