Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

MIL gave DD tea to drink - am I wrong to be cross!

54 replies

fifi20 · 30/08/2007 10:58

MIL came to look after DD for 1 day whilst I was at work (childminder on holiday). I got home to find nappy on back to front, baby sitting in poo, and she told me that she had liked drinking her tea (DD is 9.5 months!) They stayed the weekend, and MIL had cheek to tell me I was a worrier and I should relax and go with the flow. I told her to butt out - but DH thinks I am being unreasonable...whats the opinion out there!!

OP posts:

curlywurlycremeegg · 30/08/2007 16:26

{hmm} is tea really that ba?, just wondered as DS1 never had it be DD will drink the dregs out of mugs and often asks for a cup of tea.

curlywurlycremeegg · 30/08/2007 16:27

sorry that was such a bad post DS2 asleep in my arms

should have neen is tea read that bad, no ba!

muppetgirl · 30/08/2007 16:35

If you don;t like her giving tea how about this

I did with my ds and I also gave him tea -very milky and he loved it. Still drinks tea now (he's 3.5) and even has his own mini cup and saucer...

I had an appendectomy when I was 5 and refused my medicine as it was in orange or ribena which we never had at home. My mum suggested tea and so I had it in that.

WinkyWinkola · 30/08/2007 16:37

Yes, you're being a bit unreasonable although I hope for a good few years before my children are exposed to caffeine.

BUT it isn't unreasonable to expect people who look after your child to do as you ask. i.e. if you tell MIL you don't want DD is drink tea and she still gives it to her, then that's out of order.

You allow people you trust to look after your child and if you can't trust them, don't don't leave your kid with them.

HonoriaGlossop · 30/08/2007 17:09

I think these are non problems. Tea is not so bad. lots of quite young children have a cup of tea. It can be quite healthy. I know a nine month old IS young but as someone else said, a slurp of tea won't hurt her.

Back to front nappy, needing a change; not a big issue when you've been able to rely on her for a bit of free childcare. I think you should lighten up on her. Did you REALLY tell her to 'butt out?'. Really?

hifi · 30/08/2007 17:16

just out of interest whats so wrong with tea?

quint · 30/08/2007 17:22

DH is a;ways threatening to give DD1 a sip of tea and I hate it - she doesn;t need it, water, milk and the occasional juice is fine so I'm with the OP on that one.

I'd also be pretty cross re the nappy but these things happen.

All you need to do is let MIL know that you would prefer your DD to not have tea in the future.

lisalisa · 30/08/2007 17:28

Message withdrawn

EscapeFrom · 30/08/2007 17:48

gringottsgoblin, were you in hospital in 2003? That's exactly what I did!

Tanee58 · 30/08/2007 17:56

My ex-MIL once tried to put Dd's nappy on Inside Out!! and my mum's best friend once tried to pacify me with a dummy filled with orange and whisky - she said it had always worked with her sons in the 1940s - no wonder I still like a tipple!

law3 · 30/08/2007 17:57

The tea thing - drinking tea decreases iron levels - not so good especially for kids if done on a regular basis.

When my mum looks after my toddler, i usually have play doh stuck to the dog and my house is a total mess with toys!!But my toddler loves it and has a great time with Nan, thats what Nans are all about!!
;

law3 · 30/08/2007 17:59

The tea thing - drinking tea decreases iron levels - not so good especially for kids if done on a regular basis.

NattyThomasandEllen · 30/08/2007 18:01

i think u are being a tad unreasonable. it wont hurt to have a cup of tea when u children see nanny, if she doesnt have it regarly why would it hurt? i think u may end up causing a problem with MIL and lose a valuable emergency babysitting resource..
and "going with the flow" is just another parenting method, i think she is just trying to help.

end of the day being polite and having a adult conversation will resolve issue if u are concerned, just explain u dont want dd to have tea.

i think the nappy was simply cos she was more concerned about having fun and dd enjoying herself and didnt realise,

just chill!

muppetgirl · 30/08/2007 18:06

If you gave me a terry nappy there is a distinct possiblity that I'd put it on backwards

NattyThomasandEllen · 30/08/2007 18:11

lmao i always put pampers on backwards.. think im an unfit mother?

lulumama · 30/08/2007 18:14

if you actually used the words 'butt out', you owe her a big apology

she helped you out, and gave your little one a slurp of tea... ( rather than a mug full , i presume? )

if you do not want her to have tea again, there are nicer ways of saying it

sitting in poo..how long for? if more than a few minutes, then that is worth mentioning, as can give baby a sore bottom....

cutiepies2mummy · 30/08/2007 18:16

Its ur kid hun if u dont want her drinkin tea then put ur foot down and tell mil how feel if u dnt then it will only happn again!

NattyThomasandEllen · 30/08/2007 18:24

hullo lulumama! not seen u for a while hows things.

welcome to mumsnet cutiepies2mummy xx

lulumama · 30/08/2007 18:26

hello, NTE..am very well thanks ! hope you are too, and enjoying being a mum of 2 ! xx

NattyThomasandEllen · 30/08/2007 18:35

trying to.. tho its hard work lol x

HorseyWoman · 30/08/2007 19:00

Well my grandma and grandad used to give it to me and my brother in our bottles!!! We loved it, but times were different 20 years ago. Although I have seen it done since. I don't drink much tea or coffee at all these days but I do like the taste, and in winter a nice cuppa tea when I get in from work/uni is all I need to warm and cosy me up!

HorseyWoman · 30/08/2007 19:02

YANBU about the nappy/sitting in poo. I also think my brother and I were older than 10 months when we drank tea; in fact we were toddlers and it was usually half a bottle of milk, some hot water and a slight squeeze of a tea bag!

I think you are being unreasonable to ask her to butt out though. Find alternative childcare if she bothers you so much. Far worse things she could do than give her tea to drink!

sweetkitty · 30/08/2007 19:17

I used to love tea in my bottle apparently with 2 sugars (wonder why I have fillings in nearly all my teeth)

First time my Mum looked after DD1 (one of the 4 times she has DD1 is 3) she changed her nappy every half hour as it was soaking wet (think if it had a pee in it she changed it) so she went through 6 nappies. She also gave her lucozade and porrigde that had sugar and salt in it.

Original poster

fifi20 · 30/08/2007 21:25

Thanks for all your messages. I get the impression I am a bit too uptight for my own good. To be fair though - I didnt tell her to butt out in so many words! And it wasnt about the tea, or the nappy etc - I was polite about that - just asked her nicely not to do it again (tea) and showed her how to do the nappy (right way!). It was then after the weekend went on, and I was doing my best to entertain them & look after DD, and I am a worrier when it comes to DD - and she got a bit pissed in the evening and told me some things I didnt want to hear!!! She also told me I shouldnt go back to work (I have) and that I cant work when I have 2 (I want too!). But i get the point that she was doing us a huge favour & I do love her, and she loves her grandaughter loads. I will take a chill pill next time. As I said earlier - I miss my mum

OP posts:

Lotstodo · 31/08/2007 10:31

With my firstborn, now 18, it was free range and organic all the way. I got quite disturbed and uncomfortable when he played sand, water, paint and mud messy games also. But hey ho, my six year old daughter is now joining me in a cup of tea while she is watching television and I am here on MN

Flip

1 2 3