To be disconcerted by how effective antidepressants are?

[VeniceQueen2004]

Had a bit of a stress-related breakdown before Christmas and was prescribed citalopram. Been taking it for a little over a month now and am STUNNED at the difference in myself. I feel so calm! I had no idea how much anxiety was ruling my life, affecting absolutely everything. My challenges at work and in my relationship - they haven't really changed but I am so laid back they are improving themselves, just because I'm not on my last nerve all the time and overreacting to everything that happens.

And my libido, far from having lessened as u feared, has burst into life for the first time since I had my child three years ago!

Only downside is I can't seem to sleep very well... But I don't even feel tired! I've been ony knees with exhaustion for months - now I feel lively! Even at 2 am when I ought to be asleep 😆

So AIBU to find it quite alarming how completely messing with my hormones has changed everything? Makes me wonder if anything I feel or ever felt was "real" in some sense and not just chemistry... But I also don't care because it's so so lovely not to feel like shit all the time!

It's worth going back to your GP especially if none of the stressors have changed. I took sertraline for 6 weeks for PND and PNA and felt fantastic. However I started showing signs of mania and had to stop to protect my long term MH.

Some fair points on here OP regarding counselling, CBT etc - and also watching for mania. However, how completely lovely for you to feel some relief after such an awful time.My own DD has just managed to stabilise, and find the right (rather high!) dose, after a decade of the most horrendous and life-threatening struggle. In our family, we are grateful everyday for the difference it has made to her.

@venicequeen , your post resonates with me. I've had mild anxiety with occasional panic attacks for years but after my son was born it escalated. I was feeling panicky constantly, crying, full of dread. Not like myself at all. Finally went to the doc who prescribed 20mg fluoxetine (Prozac) - oh my god, the difference was amazing. Within a week I felt so much better. The constant anxiety just melted away. No side effects. I wish I had taken them sooner!

I am on citralopran....it is great stuff. I'm going on it for life and i have no qualms about it.....i cannot risk a relapse.
People who say ad are harmful should consider that depression is worse.

It (citalopram) has saved my life. It might not suit everyone, but I clearly needed it. I won’t stay on it forever, but for now, it’s what I need.

They can be incredible drugs for some people. I’ve taken escitalopram before and if it wasn’t for the lack of sex drive/weight gain/negative impact on pregnancy I would have continued taking it for the rest of my life. I suddenly developed good, healthy self esteem for the first time after only being on them for a couple of weeks. I was always a bit dismissive of the ‘depression as a chemical imbalance’ line until then.
In saying that though I have matured and learned to deal with my emotions since being off the drugs so maybe they were just a fantastic opportunity for me to see life from a different perspective and gain some confidence in myself.

I am not an expert but have close family members who suffer from depression and as I understand it, antidepressants can rectify a chemical imbalance, a bit like a diabetic lacks insulin. Therapy is important, but in some cases medication to address and imbalance can be hugely helpful.

I was prescribed citalopram a few months ago - I was on high! I bloody loved it. It felt like I could conquer the world. It has made me feel alive again and my thoughts are clear, I'm no longer wasting through life in a fug of despair. That high feeling was worn off, sadly. But I still feel that they have changed my life. My sleep is really erratic and no libido but the benefits it has made to my entire well being far outweighs the cons.

OP you do sound hyper. ADs can cause mood swings in some people (you will see it in the list of side effects in the leaflet) - seriously I would talk to GP about it, especially as you've only been on them for a month.

Bursting libido
Not even tired
Laughing more than usual
Change in attitude to "fuck it what's the worst that can happen"

All possible signs of hypomania.

I’m delighted for you! Antidepressants do have an activating effect so that might be part of the reason your sleep isn’t great but the improvements to your mood are still to be enjoyed. Any “high” feelings will likely calm down a little which is a good thing long term but the improvement generally will hopefully remain. As long as you aren’t behaving erratically or in a risky fashion then I wouldn’t be too concerned.

Therapy is good. So is medication. As usual it’s a balance between the two for most people.

I had trouble sleeping initially, then changed the time of day I took them and that really helped.

Oh my goodness, I really needed this post OP. I am one week in to Citalopram and all I read are the bad things people have said about it. Thank you for sharing and hopefully there is light at the end of the tunnel.

I'm on Venlafaxine and Mirtazapine, I don't feel much of anything anymore, which is great compared to how I was feeling before.

I was diagnosed with bipolar 6 months after I started antidepressants for depression. It made me stop sleeping, feel amazing and have an insane libido. I felt like I didn't even need to sleep! Just be careful because some antidepressants can cause people with bipolar to rapid cycle so read some symptom lists and speak to a doctor if it doesn't fade in a few weeks.

OP I started taking Citalopram 2 years ago after years of resistance to ADs. It has saved my life. I can't believe how calm I feel. I haven't experienced any side effects but am only on 20mg.

I know it doesn't work for everyone but r mf it's like a wonder drug and I regret not trying it sooner.

I had this in the first month but it sort of evens out after a little while, now I feel much better than when I was depressed but not hyper/able to sleep. I take sertraline but the effects are similar.

Mental health nurse here. Agree with PP that you sound a bit manic. Your mood will likely deteriorate soon if so. Please discuss with your GP

That’s brilliant OP and I’m really happy for you getting your life back - just crack on for a while and enjoy it - and don’t worry about being too happy 😃👍🏻

Yeah sorry to piss on your chips but this sounds so familiar to me as someone with Bipolar.

I would mention it to your Gp. Enjoy it though! Just watch for the crash.

@RonaldMcDonald
Agree with a lot of your points but just wanted to add that psychologists in my experience (counselling or clinical) have an awful lot of training in working with people with anxiety and depression. It's their bread and butter. And one of the benefits of their training is that they are trained in lots of approaches so they are hopefully in a good position to help someone decide what type of therapy might help them.

CBT is def not the panacea but then nor is therapy full stop. Or medication for that matter. Nothing we have to offer works for everyone. Yes we know that the therapeutic relationship accounts for a chunk of changes in therapy. But if OP has tried person centred type counselling (which it sounds quite a lot like) and it's not working for the reasons she gave, then CBT might be more effective.

No one profession is better for sure. But I guess at least with counselling or clinical psychologists you know roughly what training they have had whereas there is way more variability and potentially lack of scrutiny in the world of counselling.

Also psychologist isn't a protected title either unfortunately!

@ronald that's exactly why people need to seek CBT from BABCP accredited therapists, not a counsellor or other therapist who says they do CBT but it's really just CBT techniques. As you say, CBT (or any therapy or medication) doesn't work if not used a properly.
CBT can be very good for anxiety based problems, but please check the qualifications if the therapist (should be a Post Graduate Diploma and accredited with the BABCP).

Did OP say she was bipolar ? Oops

I’m diagnosed with cyclothymia (and other things - not a diagnosis fan really) but it’s like bipolar-lite, I get the almost-manic phases, once you understand what they are you retain the ability to rationalise them (I understand with full mania you don’t) and they’re kinda useful tbh! But I keep a check on my sleep, if I’m not sleeping well then I will use promethazine (over-the-counter antihistamine sleeping aid) to make sure I do, otherwise I’ll end up exhausted and then mood will crash. I’m on an antidepressant permanently now as never do well when coming off. I don’t mind that, being functional is worth it. Without my antidepressant I lose that ability you describe to be able to cope with the high stress situations at work etc - the ability to recognise where your limits are and just get on with it. The promethazine is with medical advice btw, so perhaps something to discuss with your GP/pdoc. I feel my meds gave me the space I needed to engage with therapy & counselling to work out my issues and build decent coping strategies.

Is some of what you’re feeling the realisation that a lot of our mood/emotion stuff isn’t as independent as you previously assumed - we’re at the mercy of our brain chemistry? It is a slightly weird concept when you first think about it, we’re used to thinking of ourselves as an ephemeral being/spirit/soul (whether you actually believe that or not, it’s kinda how we all think) housed inside a flesh-and-blood shell that is just mechanical and where we live. But actually, it turns out that that flesh-and-blood machine is ‘us’ and is so amazingly complex that all of our intelligence, personality, moods, emotions, thoughts, feelings are as much a result of all that biochemistry as our reproductive cycles or digestive function is. It’s mind blowing really. Pretty cool stuff.

Exactly that Kyvia. You've got it exactly. Bit of a headfuck to realise how susceptible "I" am to chemicals - that what I perceive as me is nothing more than a system responding to stimuli. It's freaky and ought to be upsetting, but I'm medicated so I'm cool with it (just proving the point!! [Grin])

I'm hearing everyone saying I seem a bit manic. I am behaving very sensibly and no-one who knows me has expressed any concern I'm behaving oddly (quite the reverse, they all say how nice it is to see me back to normal!); but I'll monitor it and I'll expect my mood to even out again - I genuinely feel it is just the total relief making me giddy but I am at the beginning of this so will not take the advice of those further down the road than me lightly. Thank you!

I felt absolutely euphoric for the first week or so. I think it’s normal. It did calm down, but not back to the point where I couldn’t stop crying. Now I’m just calm and happy again.