To think 'Just ignore it' is not the correct response to low level, continual teasing in school?

[MrsHusky]

Just that really.

DD is in yr 6 and been having some continual, low level teasing/being picked on going on by children in her class..

Its all really petty stuff, 'ew dont touch me' when she accidentally touches a couple of them during PE or leaning over the table.. teasing her over 'fake news' that she KNOWS is false, but it upsets her that they keep insisting on it.

Its all silly things like that, but its CONSTANT, every day.

The teachers response (and mine initially) was just to tell her to ignore them, but nothing ever seems to be said to the other children who're doing the teasing/bullying.

AIBU to think its all well and good telling the child being teased to ignore it, but equal input ought to be put into telling the ones doing it to stop it?

I have addressed it with DD's teacher, as its been daily since going back after Christmas... waiting to see what the response is.

I used to tell my children to irgnore low level bullying - it was bad advice. It just results in the other children not respecting the child they are bullying and things can esculate plus damage the confidence of the bullied child. The parenting advisor told me I need to teach them to find their voice and establish their boundaries on how they do not want to be treated. Sorry, I also don't see what you describe as low level. Just having one of these things said to someone once would knock confidence - repeatedly saying things like this is full on bullying to me.

I deal with kids saying "so and so is being mean" everyday, every hour, feels like every minute.

The difficulty as a teacher is that most of this sort of stuff is at break and lunch when I am inside or taking lunch clubs. If I can'tsee or hear it, i'm relying on either hearsay or reports from lunchtime supervisors. It theregore takes a while to build up a picture and distinguish between the everydays moans and friendship issues and a problem.

If a problem does emerge I tend to focus on assertiveness training for the victim. Mostly it is the reaction that the other kids get that leads to them doing it. Assertiveness helps the victim and the ones being sheep. Girls are awful at this age and there are several specific programs focused on girls that can be delivered through a lunch club.

I do think assertiveness is vital- year 7 is very different and the ability to calmly tell people to leave off while exuding force is a great one to learn.

Of course, I do deal with the proponents as well, before I get leapt on!

YANBU, I had to go from a fairly nice Prep school to an awful secondary school - I was teased all of the time because I played the Cello and was told I was a 'snob' because I didn't sound like them, the lack of teacher involvement certainly didn't teach me resilience, it just made me dislike that school.

My child is 8 and her teacher tells the class in these situations to 'manage their distractions' - I haven't found a parent yet who thinks this is a good idea. You can nip unkindness in the bud, you can say something now to stop these kids becoming unpleasant adults, I think emotional intelligence is just as important as intelligence and it would help with a lot of the problems we have in this world. I know in scandinavian countries, the happiness of the children is really important.

My work in a secondary school, not as a teacher but in a role that doesn't have much to do with children but where my office is near to the toilets and low level taunting goes on, if I hear it, I will remark on how unkind they re being, the use of the word shocks them, but who knows they might think about it later.

I had this all the way through junior school. Being told to just ignore it - didn't stop it, and meant that they escalated to try and get more of a reaction.

Over 30 years later I can still remember their names. And I've been living with the impact to my mental health ever since - constantly feeling like I'm not good enough. So those of you saying 'just ignore it' can fuck off and do one.

The worst feeling in the world is being a child and learning that your parents won't step in and do anything despite the fact that you've asked for help.