Toxic relative's death, everyone pretending

[cactus2020]

My elderly aunt just died. She was a difficult, divisive, mean, unkind person who treated my mother and her own children pretty badly emotionally throughout her life. I'm keeping my mouth shut as a grown-up and will go to the funeral to support my beloved mother and cousins. But AIBU to feel annoyed that other family members who often said negative things about her when she was alive, are suddenly being nice about her? There really is a taboo on speaking I'll of the dead (and of course I don't mean anyone would or should in front of her close loved ones) even behind closed doors. Am I the odd one out to feel this way?

Sorry, speaking ill

I would feel the same as you OP. I hate hypocrites.

Not at all. However it's odd, when you are no longer threatened by a difficult person (because they are dead) you can afford to be less defensive and remember their better points.

They may not be being hypocritical, they may genuinely remember good things now her actual presence isn't spoiling their memories. When you are safe you can afford to be magnanimous.

Every seen a grave stone with anything other than 'much loved', 'much missed' etc?
People In these circumstances have to let go and often say nothing at all or just a positive banal comment If they want to get through it.