GCSE options hell

[Unusualusernames]

Please don't flame me but AIBU to let my 13 year old daughter choose her own options even though they might limit her.

She's academic but also really good at PE. She says she wants to chose PE, media studies, geography and french.

My mum's a retired careers adviser and says media studies is useless but I know my daughter would find it really fun.

At 14 my mum basically imposed her choices on me and I ended up choosing subjects I wasn't necessarily great at.

75% of me thinks it's better to let her just do whatever she wants, even if PE and media studies aren't highly regarded. Then 25% of me feels bad for not being one of these tiger mums who ensures her child is a success academically. I'd feel bad if it meant it really limited her university choices (if she wants to go to uni , I wouldn't force her)

Please help

My daughter is very academic. She was put under great pressure by her teachers to pick their subject. On options night we went into GCSE Food. It was the last slot of the night and my husband thought there might be food freebies 🤣
It was the most inspiring talk of the evening, given by a dedicated teacher. Her words were, I don’t mind if you don’t pick my subject, but make sure you pick subjects you like and make sure you have something in your timetable that is a break from all the other academic subjects, PE, music, design, etc. Guess what my daughter picked it. And she thoroughly enjoys it. It’s her break in the week. She has great fun and she really enjoys it (there’s an added bonus I don’t need to cook one night a week too).
Let our daughter pick what she wants to do and I hope she had fun doing them!

GCSE’s just get you into college and that’s great range meaning she is not only keeping options open, but also picking things she will enjoy and therefore more likely pass

My 17yr old is doing A level pe and he is far from stupid. He's also doing biology and chemistry. He want to be a physio or paramedic.
PE is very scientific now with not much emphasis on the physical.

PE is a strong GCSE choice these days, lots of science, theory and ..... actually, who cares?! It’s GCSEs, let her choose what she wants!

My daughter has anxiety, depression and possibly Aspergers - I consider it a minor miracle every day I can get her to go to school. She is bright, but struggling due to her MH. I tell her (and anyone else who will listen!) much better to study what you are interested in, so you are more motivated.

Same for A levels and degrees. After all, how many people do you know who use their degrees in their careers? Apart from vocational careers like doctors and lawyers etc.

AND on top of that, even if kids don’t do so well they can always retake, or come back to studies in the future.

I believe there is waaaay too much pressure on these kids to have their life mapped out by age 13/14.

Sorry, may have gone slightly off thread there, but it is one of my pet hates!

I wenr as far as moving both of my kids into new schools so that they could choose exactly what they wanted to study at GCSE. (Each in a different school).

Both now at university because they loved what they were studying and therefore worked hard and reached potential.

I recommend being supportive and giving lots of information so she can make a fully informed decision but ultimately HER decision.

I hear parents talk about this all the time. My input is always the same.

The purpose of an education is to ensure you are qualified to do what you like for the rest of your life.

If you do not know what you want to do with the rest of your life then its best to ensure that your educational choices ensure you have the widest range of choices.

Also, if you have an average level of intelligence, everything you have to learn in any subject until you reach a PhD level is just knowledge and skills. Anyone with the right attitude and some hard work can achieve any level of success at school and university they wish provided they are willing to put in the work. Success at school or uni is about 10% innate ability, 10% how much you enjoy it and about 80% how hard you are willing to work.

Finally, a 13 year old has no basis in experience or knowledge to make a decision on what they want to do. They will obviously choose what they like irrespective of what may or may not be good for them. Let's be honest, if you asked your average 13 year old what they would like to eat every night they would generally say chips and a coke. If they can't make good decision about what they eat without parental guidance, why would a parent believe they are capable of deciding what they want to study?

So, as a parent, the job is to provide the information they need to understand the choices they are making (along the lines on "if you drop that subject then it will narrow your choices later, are you sure you want to narrow your choices later. This would be a better choice and here's why?") and whatever choice they finally make, to ensure they work hard enough to achieve the very best grades they have the ability to do.....which is not necessarily how hard they actually want to work.

ArthurChristmas2 i wish dd3 wanted to do food tech! Such a relaxing useful thing to learn!

Personally I think they're good choices anyway, but there is no better time for a child to make a slightly incorrect choice than now. The next decision like this will be alevels and they will matter more. Guide her, encourage her to look up the content of the subjects and see what it might rule out at alevel, of course. But let her choose. Even if she chooses "badly" that is a good life lesson in itself and kids need to be allowed to learn about life not just school subjects.

For what it's worth I was academic, I chose music Japanese and Design Technology. The first because I liked it, the second because it was fun, the third because it made sense for engineering. The latter two were among my lower grades and I regretted choosing Japanese frequently throughout the two years - but when I got to engineering at university, DT was the most practical experience I gained even after doing a master's, and the knowledge I'd survived Japanese GCSE genuinely helped with tough subjects at uni. Music I just loved but made no sense to do at A-level.

Ignore random apostrophe, phone autocorrect!

Also I wanted to do PE and textiles but couldn't due to timetable clash and them renovating the textiles lab that year - my hobbies now are all sports and craft based

I have 5 academic children. Three have made their choices in the past and the last two (twins) are making them this year. As long as there is a sensible core of subjects (which there is in your daughter’s choices) then autonomy and enjoyment of a subject are (in my view) very worth going for. Happy teens are not easy to cultivate and I think if their wishes can be reasonably accommodated then they should be. It is the grades achieved at GCSE that seem to count later on (UCAS etc) rather than subjects in the main 😊

Let her pick her own options.

You already know why it's a bad idea to do that for her so don't do it, also, they usually pick their 1st set of options for 1 year and a year later they change them again so it's not a big deal.

Depending on the school/area she shouldn't be stuck with them for her school career.

My daughter has just finished her GCSEs and just started A-Levels and my son is just about to pick his GCSE’s.
I really recommend that you speak to her about ensuring her subjects are interesting to her and have a mix of both course assessment as you go and those where the exam is the only thing that counts.
If your daughter is only selecting courses with a high level of written work that could make for a horrible 2 years at school - unless that’s what she likes.

I would just suggest that there is a good balance in her subjects so she’s not overloaded. I’d also recommend speaking g through the courses with her and her teachers. Having said all that, I’m dreading g having this talk with my son as at the moment he has no clue at all what he wants to pick! Good luck!!

A daughters friend got all 9s at GCSE, one of which was PE
She said that she felt if she hadn’t had a less academic subject that gave her the opportunity to get out and do something physical she wouldn’t have done as well as she did across all the subjects

Let her do something she's good at? Top grades are a big morale booster, and the chances are she will enjoy what she's good at. No-one bothers about GCSE subjects after university, anyway. I was academic so I did Ancient Greek rather than German, and I know which would have been more useful in the workplace.

Media studies and PE are useless, as somebody said before a nice sport activity after school is a better way to enjoy sport than wasting a GCSE.

I disagree with the idea that children should be allowed to decide completely. You can make some non very wise decisions when you are 14 that may prevent you from studying what you want in Union go to uni at all...

Not union, uni

Media studies and PE are useless

Sigh. Read the thread!

If she is academically inclined, why not let her take two subjects she will almost certainly get A's in? Surely a couple more top marks is as good as anything else in her future prospects. GCSEs are hard. The standards are high and it's a lot of subjects to carry around so much information about at once. The second year is very heavy and stressful. Don't add to the pressure by making her take subjects she doesn't enjoy. She will get better marks doing subjects she likes, and be happier along the way. End result: good marks (albeit in less impressive subjects) and better mental health. My 16 year old is a ball of pure stress at the moment. Good mental health is worth anything.

Well Cambridge obviously didn't think Media was useless since my student managed to get a place there yesterday ,partly due to an award winning article about the media.

No one will care! As long as she chooses subjects that will lead on to her chosen A Levels it will be summed up as X grade 9s, X grade 8s etc.
I have worked in FE and they look at 5 grades 9-5 including English, maths and any of the subjects they’re choosing.
Let her do what she enjoys. It won’t matter and she’ll do better if she’s enjoying it

Pretty good range of subjects - I’m a geography teacher so great choice there! Hehehe and PE is far more academic with lots of science, I personally wouldn’t choose media but tbh at GCSE level as long as you get good grades apart from English and maths further studies won’t be limited

I'm really surprised to see someone saying people taking PE are thick .

@katy1213 Appalled by your comments, glad I'm not your child! My twin sons, both very academic chose their own GCSE's, PE and media being 2 of their choices. PE was one of their hardest subjects, very science based. Media was fun yet taught them some really important skills. I didn't have any problems encouraging my sons to complete homework or to revise. They both now have unconditional offers to 4 Universities. PE and Media did them no harm whatsoever.

@IdiotInDisguise ...say no more, perfect name!

There is a lot of misinformation on this thread. If anyone wants to find out e.g. requirements for medicine, that information is available on university admission websites.