Party gift etiquette?

[Sundancer77]

Invited to friends Dd 1st birthday party at the weekend.
Lots of people attending, fancy hotel etc.
They wrote on the invitation and also in the WhatsApp group that they wouldn’t like gifts for her and instead to please donate items to the local orphanage & baby unit at the hospital.
That’s lovely and we’ll do that, but would you also just bring a small gift to the birthday aswell? Just feels a bit strange to turn up with nothing?

They asked not to bring gifts
Why would you show Up with one?

Bring a card, that's what they've asked for. Maybe they don't want the clutter of lots of gifts.

If the child was older I think I might feel a bit bad that it may not be their choice but as they're only 1 and won't have a clue I would just go with what they've suggested.

If they have said they don't want gifts, then you don't bring a gift.
You CAN bring a nice card which includes info on what you have donated ( maybe a pic of the toy or whatever) that they can keep as a memento.

They've told you what they want. It's a polite way of saying, please don't buy a load of stuff that we'll have to drag the charity shop next week. Anyway, if it's a fancy hotel, it's really a party for the adults not the child.

@nowayhose Nice idea 💜

Knowing my luck, others will bring a gift anyway and I’ll be like 🤔

A nice card. It is a nice gesture from them. Babies get so much at a party it is ridiculous.
A card is enough.

Definitely don't bring gifts. They prefer that some local charities benefits and they probably wanted to avoid having to bring home a mountain of tat that will just end up being donated anyway. If they can afford a nice birthday party in a fancy hotel they can buy their toddler anything they actually want her to have. Write a lovely card if you want to do something nice (if you're close enough for it to be appropriate you could write in the card that you'd love to take the DD out for an afternoon if they want).

Where do you live that has a local 'orphanage'? There are no such things in the UK anymore. Care Homes or Group Homes yes but not orphanages!!

Where do you live that has a local 'orphanage'? I wanted to ask this too.

You could donate a hamper to a women’s refuge/food bank as they’ll be children with not a lot of things but there’s not an orphanage in the UK - unless they mean donate to one abroad - maybe a receipt that you’ve donate to save the children et al.

I think it makes sense. My niece got loads of things for her first birthday - so much my sister didn’t have room for the countless huge teddies/toys.

@bookmum08 @EmeraldShamrock
No, I don’t live in the uk 😁 lots of local orphanages here and groups set up for families in need etc.

Ah that makes sense Sundancer77.

Just texted couple of the friends who are going and they were saying they might get her a little bracelet etc 🙈🤷‍♀️I knew people would still go for gifts

what about a really nice book, or wrap a small box and inside details of what you've donated x

You probably need to work out what the local cultural response is. In the U.K. no gifts means no gifts but that’s not guaranteed to be correct elsewhere

I know you may feel awkward. I'd stick with the invite, if you're in any doubt are you close enough to text the host to ask if a small gift will be appreciated.

maybe give something like an amazon voucher, they could then donate this to a charity or childrens home or whatever..

I'd give a card and write inside "From X (name of DD) we have donated a "x" to the baby unit." (along with usual happy birthday message)

I'd be so annoyed as a parent if I'd said no gifts and people turned up with one. Sod your little bracelets.

What I do is take a little gift, wrapped up and leave it in the car, then if you get there and everyone else has brought a gift you can pop back to the car and get yours, if not then you can return it or donate it to the orphanage.

Ok, we’ve all decided to stick to what she’s asked as we’re all on the same page and she did specify it (they also are wealthy and have lots of toys already)
But I love the idea of just giving a simple, sweet card with a pic of our donated baby clothes/list of items we will take.

I think as we’ve all now agreed (some were unsure also) none of us will look too out of place if others at the party do bring gifts and we don’t.

@Babybel90 That’s a good idea also though in these circumstances.

Good thinking don't buy. If everyone brought a gift it would ruin a lovely gesture.
The host although wealthy is very kind. ♥️