AIBU to not go?

[ChompingHell]

Have been friends with a really nice woman for quite a few years.

I am currently suffering from fertility issues and had a miscarriage in November (I've had a few).

My friends daughter is having a birthday party this weekend and I'm invited.

However, I'm really struggling with the thought of going as said friend is currently pregnant. It sounds awful but I've managed to avoid her since the miscarriage as I just can't bare it.

It sounds selfish of me but the unfairness of it all just makes me feel sick. I don't wish anything on her of course but I just don't know if I can be around her, seeing her bump, hearing her talk to our other friends about her pregnancy etc... When I should be able to be doing the same right now but instead I'm sat here with my flat stomach pretending to be happy that life is working out for everyone but me it seems at the moment.

I'm pushing my friends away, I realise that. But I just don't feel strong enough.

Would you understand? This will be one of quite a few events and occasions I've cancelled in the past year and I very rarely correspond with my friends in anything other than text messages now.

If you don't feel up to it, don't go but maybe try and actually speak to her on the phone about it so you're maintaining some bit of actual contact? I'm sure she will understand. Really sorry for what you're going through as well

Thanks. I really do have to fight the urge to just completely shut myself away.

I feel like my life is just an endless stream of invites to baby showers, christenings, gender reveals, kids parties etc... I just can't escape it.

I would totally understand. When I was pregnant one of my close friends unfortunately lost her pregnancy (would have been due near each other) I totally understood that at times she couldn't be around me and gave her space. Our friendship survived. Am sure your friend will understand, does she know about the miscarriage?

I'd understand with bells on. Have you told her why?

does she know about the miscarriage?

Yes she does. I cancelled another event not log ago with her and explained the reason and she was understanding then. I just feel like a rubbish friend not being able to put on a brave face and he happy for her.

God don't go! She will understand, you need to take care of yourself ❤

Talk to her. The same happened to me. I explained how the only way I could cope and move on was by trying not to focus my mind on pregnancies and that just seeing her reminded me of what I'd lost.

She totally understood and told me she'd be there when I was ready. I never got pregnant but was able to move. She I formed me of the birth and I contacted her a few weeks later. We resumed our friendship where we left it. Seeing her daughter was absolutely fine, it was the pregnancy I struggled with.

If I was your friend I certainly wouldn't hold it against you. I'm sorry you're having a hard time OP.

If you can't face it, then don't go. I would understand too.

Yes id understand, dont put yourself through it

Yanbu op,of course not.
However,please be careful of shutting out all of your friends and isolating yourself by shutting yourself away.That can be a downwards spiral.
Can you ask for counselling?
Have you got one of two good friend who are not pregnant you can keep the lines of communication open with?
for you,I really hope you get your wish.

Your friends do gender reveals??

Seriously, though, couldn’t you just have a tummy bug on this occasion?

Be honest with her. A good friend will understand. I'm sure most people in your situation would feel the same emotions, so don't beat yourself up over it. Stay home and take care of yourself xx