80skid, I'm going to be a bit radical here and suggest it's not really an apology you want and should insist on. After all, if he mutters a surly "Sorry if you got upset," how much further forward are you, really? That won't stop it happening again.
I think what you want - and deserve - is more like a change in his attitude and behaviour.
Skip the apology stage, choose a quiet moment, tell him you have something important to say, then tell him calmly and clearly that the way he spoke and acted this morning was not OK. Tell him how you felt (not how he 'made' you feel) and use 'I' not 'you' at the beginning of sentences so it's clear you're sharing, not accusing.
For example, 'I felt intimidated by the banging and crashing. I was frightened by the shouting. My heart was racing. I felt as if I needed to run to a safer place but I couldn't because the children were there. I was worried that the children would be frightened and go to school upset. I was puzzled at the way all that rage seemed to come from nowhere." Tell him what your thoughts and reactions were. He can hardly tell you you didn't feel what you felt!
Then tell him he needs to take steps to make certain this never occurs again. If there's something dreadful going on that he's keeping from you, you need to be told. Someone who promised to love and cherish you, someone whose children you bore, someone who wants the best for you and the children simply doesn't terrify everyone in the family like that!
Ask him what he would think and do if he witnessed an enraged stranger screaming at you or one of his children in a public space. Would that be fine with him, or would he immediately step in to protect and defend you?
Tell him he needs to address whatever is causing him to behave like that (it isn't you).
Tell him you need to see that change beginning right away and he needs to seek help if he fears he can't change (not from you!) and make a permanent improvement. If he asks where, you could suggest he starts with a visit to his GP who is the gatekeeper to lots of professionals, but this is his issue to deal with, not yours.
He might have scared himself!
Bottom line is he needs to know you aren't prepared to tolerate this behaviour and don't care to expose yourself and the children to any repetition.
From where you stand, whatever his problem is, however much you love him, what happened is unacceptable. I suspect he already knows that, though.
It's just a few ideas. You know what you want, so do try to make it clear to him.
Good luck. You and the children deserve so much better than this.