Babies being encouraged to kiss one another at nursery?

[Nurserybabies456]

Nursery is already a bed of germs, this would make it worse surely?

Did they say "kiss and make up"?

I agree that more info is needed.

Not bothered about the germs thing tbh.....but why are they encouraging babies to kiss? When it comes to teaching about consent this potentially seems to fly in the face of it.....but we don't really know because you won't give the context....??

Some children will do this of their own volition. I give DS a kiss and cuddle when he is upset, his early understanding of empathy is to to the same to someone else if they are upset too. Trying to say things like "we only kiss people we love" is confusing, the response tends to be "I love Sam mummy!!".

I'm not a big fan of the 'give xxx a cuddle' or 'kiss and make up', lots of kids don't like it and others are a bit over enthusiastic in their kisses and cuddles, bundling the recipient to the floor with snobbery affection!

I wouldn't really care. Kids in nursery are full of gross germs. They have no concept of hygeine or personal space. Kissing won't make much difference - whatever one kid has will have been spread to everyone else by the end of the day.

It does sound pretty weird though. I'm intrigued as to why this is happening..?

hazeyjane
Me neither. I'm also not a fan of telling children to give relatives kisses on demand either.

In a nursery it could be any number of situations, depending on the age of the children. Are we talking babies as in under 12 months or more like 18 months into toddlers where they'll be on the move more with their play? Is it that a couple of children are playing in the home corner and have kissed? Is it a friendly kiss on the cheek and the staff have said "aww" and not challenged it? Is it they're told to "kiss and make up" but a staff member didn't think it could be taken literally? Is it that a member of staff used the phrase "kiss and make up" in a discussion with a parent and the parent has decided they're pushing kissing? Is it that the nursery staff are using kisses and cuddles as a way to say sorry?
There's so many variables.

I would be really pissed off at both the germs element of this and the weird message it sends to them about body autonomy. Wrong on all levels.

I have a toddler DD in nursery. I wouldn't mind the staff gently encouraging it if both kids are willing, not a big deal. I also wouldn't mind the women who work there giving DD a peck on the head while she's having a cuddle after a bump, for example.

The germ aspect wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

The bodily autonomy aspect might if it was pushed beyond what DD was comfortable with.

Based on the (very little) you've written, i would be very concerned if babies were 'being encouraged to kiss each other'. It sends the wrong message in terms of body autonomy, where an adult tells you who to kiss or be kissed by.
The hygiene aspect would also concern me, but not as much as the safeguarding issue that is potentially being stored up for later.

lack of consent for what is sexual activity

Good lord, is it sexual activity when I kiss my sons good night, or a colleague to say hello? Or kiss the top of my baby niece's head when I am snuggling her? Not all kisses are sexual in nature, the vast majority are a quick peck on the cheek.

I doubt very much that a nursery is encouraging snogging between toddlers, but quite possibly a kiss and make up approach. Given that colds are airborne and these kids are all sharing an airspace, I really don't see an issue here.

I dont think I overly care tbh. I dont like the idea of "forcing" kids to kiss but equally i wouldnt pull them apart at the risk of germs. I havent really seen such behaviour from our nursery, i see the kids hug which is lovely

I agree with you! No need for specifics! No child should be encouraged to kiss another. Why does context change this?

lack of consent for what is sexual activity

Ffs 🙄 so when my 3yo kisses me or I kiss him, it's a sexual activity?

Op on the face of it you're not BU. I think we need the context though. Who is encouraging them to and in what circumstance?

lack of consent for what is sexual activity

I just nearly threw up. Little kids kissing, or being kissed, isn’t “sexual activity”. Get a grip.

Oh FGS people can be so obtuse. Obviously children kissing each other or parents kissing their children isn't automatically sexual, but it's fairly easy to see why teaching young children that kissing should be done when an adult instructs you to do it, rather than when you actually want to, could lead to problems in that regard. Even setting aside the risk it could pose to a child's ability to recognise genuine abuse, it is still teaching a bunch of kids, notoriously oblivious to personal space, to respect it even less. There are probably multiple children in each class who would find that uncomfortable.

Why are people so precious about their own kisses with their own child, which presumably are a mutually instigated, established part of the relationship between the two of you, that they can't see that this is entirely different from that?

It's a non issue for me. It's not like they're not already licking everything they can get their little mouths on. (I may be bitter about this given that my son STILL licks the car at six fucking years old)

Thank you @aSofaNearYou for explaining things so well.