To worry that my husband is attractive to other women?

[NotAnAttractiveWoman]

I’m not particularly attractive nowadays especially as I’m getting older but DH has got better and better looking as he’s got older, looks much younger than he is as well due to having darker skin and has bulked up over the years at the gym. I have always had lots of comments about how ‘hot’ and handsome he is and we’ve joked about other women fancying him.

I’ve never really worried about him being unfaithful before because he was always quite shy but as he’s aged he’s more confident and can be flirty occasionally.

I don’t know if it’s my age (approaching) menopause or that we’re both ripe for a mid life crisis but now I am aware of younger women paying him attention and it’s making me very insecure. I’m also overweight, which I’m working on slowly, which makes it worse. We’ve been together since we were early 20’s, now mid 40’s and I know he’s been bored with our relationship at times.

Anyone else with Adonis like DH’s who have this worry? How do you keep them a leash?!

I'd consider an open relationship; in my experience, men will tend to love you more if you let them play around a bit

please tell me you are being sarcastic!

My DP is gorgeous and regularly gets chatted up and stared at. He looks like a combination of Jamie Dornan and Lief Shreiber (and sounds v like Jamie too).

I’ve put on weight since we met so do at times feel a bit judged by people. I def look like I’m punching above my weight. He doesn’t think like that and I know he adores me but it jars all the same.

This year I’m going to work on my weight but also learning to love myself more. Is there anything you’d like to improve in yourself? Not for him but so you can feel better about yourself?

My husband is better looking than me now, although it was probably the other way round when we first got together. I love and trust him so I don't worry about it.

OP, your descriptions of yourself make me really sad. Please don’t put yourself down like this. It’s wonderful that you find your DH attractive but you need to recognise some beauty in yourself as well. Overweight is nothing - you can absolutely do something about that and if you want to l, then you must. Starting tomorrow.

I think you should stop worrying about him and think of yourself - when was the last time you felt pretty? Why? Recreate that moment. Go out and spoil yourself with a new haircut and dye job - change it up and do something a bit different. Get some new makeup and some killer jeans (spend at least £100 - cheap jeans are for teenagers) that make your arse look fantastic. Go to your nearest posh department store and just keep trying on different makes until you find the right ones. You will and when you pair them with a pair of gorgeous black ankle boots and a new jacket, you’re going to look and feel awesome.
Let him worry that you’re the one to watch xxx

My DH is a good looking man, he’s quite a bit older than me and has probably got better looking with age. It does make me insecure to a certain degree too, especially as I definitely looked different when we first met but I reason that if he thinks the grass is greener elsewhere then he is welcome to try but he knows that there would be no coming back from that. What I’m trying to say is that it’s not all about how attractive you still find your partner after a number of years, it’s also about the life you have built together, just because he looks good doesn’t mean he would be prepared to walk away from that IYSWIM.

You can’t stop someone having an affair unfortunately (I had a “perfect” relationship and I’m as attractive as my dh I think but he still had a stupid fling) but there’s no reason that your dh would just because he’s attractive - I know plenty of good looking men that don’t cheat.

Unless someone’s a serial cheat I think it’s often just unfortunate circumstances / other issues at the time that lead to things rather than attractiveness.

The best thing is to work on your self confidence, make the marriage the best you can for both of you (and he should be doing that too) and know that if anything ever did go wrong it wouldn’t be your fault.

I'd consider an open relationship; in my experience, men will tend to love you more if you let them play around a bit

😂😂😂

I expect my man to love me and only me, with no 'playing around' involved. Expect the OP feels the same.

So you become a fittie too!

Take your self care and presentation a little more seriously and work on your fitness and self esteem. Be that good looking couple.

I'd consider an open relationship; in my experience, men will tend to love you more if you let them play around a bit

Got quite low self esteem there if you have to resort to this to feel more loved

I can't believe that someone seriously thinks that a pair of £100 jeans is a necessity or likely to improve the OP's state of mind.

OP, I agree with others that it’s your state of mind which will cause problems. Also, it sounds as though your sex life has gone rather quiet. My DP has aged a lot better than me, which I’m working on (weight), but we have a very active sex life. I did get self conscious about my looks in bed, so just fantasised that I was slim and gorgeous in the dark which made me less inhibited, which made him excited, which made me feel sexier —and helped kickstart my weight loss as well! Making love will make you both closer, and hopefully help him realise how lucky he is to have a gorgeous sexy person like you in his life.

I can't believe that someone seriously thinks that a pair of £100 jeans is a necessity or likely to improve the OP's state of mind.

it's not a bad point if you understand it.

Treat yourself to clothes and accessories that make you feel good about yourself. Life is too short to wait until you have lost this "couple of stones", work with what you have now. You don't need to go for designer clothes but looking good and feeling good today will benefit everyone.

Concentrate on making yourself feel sexier. Get your hair and nails done and some other beautifications. Treat yourself to some lovely undies and I agree a decent pair of jeans is a good idea. As we get older we need to spend a bit more money and time on ourselves. Do what you need to make yourself feel the best you can be now. Schedule in some couple time with your DH.

I can't believe that someone seriously thinks that a pair of £100 jeans is a necessity or likely to improve the OP's state of mind

Are you kidding, a pair of incredibly well fitting, well made, stylish jeans can make you feel sexy and confident. For some of us simple things things like an outfit we feel hot in can make a big difference to how we feel overall - good jeans are a great shout IMO.

I think he will cheat if he was going to cheat anyway. My Aunt is a bit older than her DH and he is a hottie, his teenage DSD's friends make jokes about him being a DILF, women do tend to flirt with him and ignore her but he only has eyes for her. That said I know men his age who have discovered fitness or aged well who left their wives for a younger more attractive woman but they were dickheads anyway and treated their wives badly. They soon realised they were well rid.

Don't focus on trying to keep him., but making yourself happy and comfortable in your own skin. Happiness and confidence are really attractive qualities. If you arent happy with something about yourself- change it for yourself OP

Imagine how Hugh Jackman's wife felt, OP...