AIBU to be mortified (b**b diallled bank)

[anotherdayinparadice]

I was in the family bathroom that I very rarely use as my toddler and her older sister (who is off school due to the 48hour after sickness ban) are in a room on the same floor.

I spent the better part of 10 minutes grappling with my toddler as she alternated between climbing on top of me and getting into various forms of mischief while I was trying to concentrate on my poop! Meanwhile I could hear her 10 year old sister who had on her iPad watching a documentary as part of my attempt to provide some semblance of education switch to the noisy YouTube kids app. I yelled out some sort of reprimand.

Honestly all the tension was making my rectum protest so I ordered big sister to come collect her troublesome sister. As I lunged forward to lock the door in the middle of wailing and protest I must have boob dialled the bank and had just uttered my final words which were "surely I should be able to take a poop for 5 minutes in peace, when I noticed.... bank had been on the line for 2.45 secs.

I'm mortified. Do banks have a number recognition system! If they do I'm guessing they log every interaction! I'm guessing next time my account is accessed it will read customer wondering if she is allowed to poop in peace.

Haha! Thanks, OP. Have having a shitty day so your post made me smile. No pun intended.

I think they could recognise your number after you put your sort code and acc number in to the automated system and gone through ID.

Hope so anyway!

Lol, you probably only got as far as the automated system. She probably responded "Sorry I didn't understand that. Would you like to check your balance?" in that weird robotic voice.

Honestly I think this sort of thing only happens to me. Last week, just one week into the new year said toddler who I stopped breastfeeding some six months ago unhooked my nursing bra (hey don't judge me they are comfy). We had been having a cuddle on the couch and I honestly didn't realise it. Off went the doorbell with an amazon delivery of diapers.

As I bent down to pick up box which he had popped down while he took out his signature "thingy" I could feel my left boob act weirdly unsupported and bleb (not even a sexy pop they aren't pert anymore) it came out!

I had on a string cami and luckily a cardigan so awkwardly I tried to smoosh them together while I carried the mega box. I couldn't even make a quick retreat as again said toddler was trying to peek through the door muttering gibberish at the man. I've never known a man to be so gob smacked though

That's it no more embarrassing moments for me this year.

Lol, I'm sure nobody heard anything.

I was sick in bed last year when I rolled over and boob dialled my ex best friend who I hadn't spoken to in a year. Now that was awkward