Is this possibly libel - *Trigger Suicide*

[FumingAboutABook]

Posting for traffic and name changed so not to link to my other posts as this will be very outing.

Background, I was in a very abusive relationship, he was violent, financially abusive and extremely controlling, this all came to a head a couple of years ago when he took his own life (and of course the note he left laid all the blame for this at my feet).

Prior to this practically nobody knew about the abuse apart from my work but even then they had no idea of the true extent of the situation. After he took his life a fair bit of the abuse came out but in typical fashion most of his friends denied he was like this and made excuses for him etc.

Anyway today I received a message from an old mutual "friend" who I haven't spoken to since it all happened (he also moved countries so I was very easily able to avoid contact with him). the message was to let me know he had written a book about the life of my ex including a whole chapter about me and asked for me to buy a copy from Amazon and leave him a review as it is his first book. He has admitted that it is not an exact true version of events and that he has made the ex out to be a more successful guy than he was but has remained true to him and is easily identifiable.

I haven't yet bought the book, mainly because I don't want to give this guy any money but obviously I want to know what has been written about me.

My main question is, if I am easily identifiable (and I know he has used my real first name at least as one of the chapters is titled as my name) is there anything I can do to have the book removed from publication? I certainly don't have the money to start fighting him through the courts but obviously don't want the world to know the ins and outs of the worst time of my life. Especially as a lot of people still don't know the full extent of what I went through.

I know I am going to have to buy the book and check out what is actually written first before I can potentially do anything but just wanted to know what I could do if anything?

I haven't read through the thread properly, so apologies if this has been said already.

I think the first thing to is read what is written about you and take your lead from how you feel about that.

Is the book marketed as fiction or non-fiction.?
Are you definitely identifiable?

Can what is written detrimentally affect your life today?

I think once you have answered those questions you might have a better idea of what you want to happen from this, and hopefully be advised accordingly? x

Unfortunately in my experience unless you have a minimum of £100k spare there is no point trying to start a legal case for libel/defamation. It’s the preserve of the very rich to fight these things out in court.

Just to echo what others have said, it’s incredibly difficult to go the legal way for deformation. You would need to be able to prove that it has caused you financial loss or adversely affected your mental well being/life which would probably be argued is subjective and therefore can’t be proven.

Sounds like you have someone who is willing to purchase the book for you. I don’t think you should be purchasing the book from your own amazon account unless of course you want to leave a review for it after you have read it.

I’m sorry this is happening to you, just when you think you are free from your Ex, some shit hole does this and portrays your relationship out in a book.... how anyone can think this is acceptable and it’s really odd given that neither of you are famous or in the public eye.

Honestly though, this book will sell for a couple of quid on amazon and will sit on a few peoples bookshelves.

Could you get your local library to order it?

I'm pretty sure libraries don't order books by unknown authors unless and until they know that there is a demand for them, as they have limited book-buying budgets. When I ordered a book last year by a previously published author, it took months before my local library actually got it in, and I think they were waiting to see if anyone else ordered it and/or till they had spare money in the budget.

Libel covers loss of reputation if it is untrue. But even then it may be hard to prove. For example, if the book has been purchased 5 times in total he could argue that so few people have read it, that it would have no impact on your reputation.
Just to add as well, anything untrue has to have a serious impact on your reputation. Not just be minor details that no one else cares about.

So if someone wrote a book that sold a lot of copies and easily identified you that said it looked from the outside he abused you, but in reality you abused him - then that would have an adverse impact on your reputation.
I suspect this book is more an invasion of privacy though, which is unlikely to be protected.

I'm an old cynic.
He told you about this in the hope that you would be outraged and tell everyone you knew what he'd done.
The more fuss - the more publicity.
The more publicity, the more potential book sales.
The more sales, the more money for him.
Do not fan the flame.
His book will fizzle out like a damp squib.

I completely agree with Wingedharpy.

OP you have my deepest sympathies. Suicide is hard enough to come to terms with without utter arseholes doing this.
My husband allegedly featured in a book, others who were also written about threatened to sue and the writer put a foreword on subsequent print runs denying this .
I would get some advice. I wonder if a strongly worded legal letter would make him think again?
It's a truly horrible thing to try and pin the blame on you in print. You are not responsible!!

That's truly awful. How callous of this man to write a book like this, attempting to make money out of your misery. It's certainly a heartless thing to do, but, as long as what he's written is true in essence, I don't think there's anything you can do, sadly.

I wouldn't be able to resist reading it. You can buy books more cheaply on kindle. But I honestly wouldn't respond in any way; as others have said, it's unlikely that many people would buy it and making a fuss would only give him an audience, which is probably what he was hoping for.

There is a market for this kind of story, if you were the one telling it. Abuse survivors write their stories and those books do sell.

Wingedharpy makes an excellent point.

As terrible as this is, ignore him, ignore anyone who tries to paint you as a bad person and don't read the book!

If he wants you to read it I'd ask him to send you a copyproof. If he wants to to do something the least he can do is foot the bill

@Wingedharpy is spot on. Ignore , if you can manage to.

Perhaps no one at all has bought his book and he was trying to provoke you into being the first person to do so?

Is there.....any chance it’s a nice portrayal of you? Only....because if I asked someone to give an Amazon review of my book I’d make sure they were going to say nice things?

Thank you to everyone for the kind messages and words of wisdom about ignoring the stupid git!!

Sorry not replied but had to get on with some actual work then had a much needed yoga session.

I think his message and becoming aware that this book existed sent my head into a bit of a spin. Now I've had time to rationally think about it it is just a bunch of words on some paper. Pretty sure it's self published (will have a proper nosey on amazon) to check. Though I'm an incredibly nosey cow and such a big part of me wants to see what he has written about me and the situation.

I won't be going for any legal action, it's just not worth my time and money (though obviously if it becomes a No1 best seller I may well change my mind )

I think I'm going to contact amazon and advise them of the situation and see if they will send me the two chapters that from the chapter headings I think will mainly be about me, our relationship and that day and just take it from there.

I'm also going to contact my ex's mum in case she hasn't been made aware as wouldn't want her to find out about the book from some crass/thoughtless comment on fb.

As my Nan would have said, today's gossip, tomorrows fish 'n' chip paper!

Wow what an unbelievably shitty situation to find yourself in! I'm so sorry

Let us know how you get on

So sorry you're going through this OP 💐. I wonder whether he wants a reaction from you to get some sales. Can't help feeling that a livid review plus a libel case would be great publicity for an otherwise obscure book. It would also make the lawyers rich. Rise above, no matter how tough it is. Your nan sounds like a fine woman.

Find a jurisdiction (like USA) that has more claimant friendly libel laws buy a book on Amazon and have it delivered to a US address. Find a no win no fee lawyer in the US and sue for millions....

I would ignore him and the book totally. The only thing that comes from you reading it is that you will be upset. You know it is not going to be accurate and it will just bring back and memories. You won't be able to do anything about the book anyway.

Do not ask a friend to buy it either. Why give him the sale and give the book any credence.

Just get on with your life and ignore.

I wouldn't even read the stupid book. That chapter of your life is over, why read someone else's opinion of it, wrote just to make money?

@Glovesick

Surely Britain would be a far better jurisdiction to sue for libel? We have some of the most claimant-friendly libel laws in existence - the burden of proof is on the defence.