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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Help me make a decision about something simple please!

8 replies

Ostagazuzulum · 14/01/2020 14:23

Probably the wrong place to post this, but posting for traffic. Bit of a daft dilemma really. (Since becoming menopausal the ability to make decisions on simple things has completely bypassed me). Just having a big clear out of DD toys. There lots of things she's too old for and so they need go a new home (she's aware of this and completely agrees). The daft thing is I can't decide where best to give them too and DD doesn't mind either way. She's looked after her toys so they're all likely nearly new. I would normally take them to a charity shop and thing nothing of it but in last few year SIL has had some children (all aged 4 and under).They go to visit PIL 3-4 times a year and don't have huge amounts of toys to play with (MIL gives them pegs and wooden spoons etc which in fairness they seem to enjoy). I'm debating whether I should give them to MIL to keep at her house however a few points: SIL is financially better off than most of us and if she wanted to could buy stuff to keep there (as are PIL), her kids are more destructive than your average toddlers (and don't get told to look after stuff - not a criticism, different parenting style and if they want to destroy their own stuff then thats up to the parents) but I wonder whether DD might be bit 'perturbed' if she were to go up there and she her old things getting trashed. Also SIL has never bothered getting DD so much as a birthday card. I know you don't give to receive but I wonder whether it would then become an expectation that all DDs stuff will be passed to them? On the other hand I think it would be nice for kids to have some proper toys to play with, and thats whats making me so indecisive. MIL is a bit of a horror bag and SIL is another issue and I wonder whether my personal feelings towards them is clouding my judgement. I'm leaning towards a charity shop at mo (called a childrens centre and they won't accept plastic toys and local woman's refuge have too many toys donated from Xmas clear outs). I could sell them as we could do with money but (at risk of sounding like an utter do-gooder) I feel like someone else should benefit from them.

I know this isn't really a problem, I just need a bit of help making right decision. A Few years ago I gave a really large collection of Sylvanian Families worth a lot of money to a friend for their child. It was played with a couple of times, boxed up in garage and then sold for hundreds. I just want to do right thing. (PS before menopause I was really good at making decisions, I've not always been like this!!!)

OP posts:
MummyFriend · 14/01/2020 14:28

Your daughter sounds like a really sensible girl. Given that she's looked after it all so carefully she should see the rewards from that - sell them and put the money into a bank account for her or let her save it towards something she really wants. She'll get a lot from learning to look after money and it sounds like she deserves it!

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 14/01/2020 14:32

I don't think the vote really helps here, because you are being neither U nor unU, just asking for advice.

There will be people out there who would value these toys, and it's clear you think your in-laws won't.

And you don't want your DD to see them being destroyed.

If it were me I would sell them (people are more likely to value things they don't get free) and use the money for something DD wants, or perhaps put them on Freecycle or Freegle or whatever you have in your area if you really don't want to sell them.

TotalRewardStatement · 14/01/2020 14:36

I think you should sell them, then split the £ with your daughter. It's a win for you, and for the buyers too.

antwacky · 14/01/2020 14:40

Sell them, lots of people prefer to buy decent used toys.

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 14/01/2020 14:42

Sell the toys on behalf of your daughter.

StillNoFuckingEyeDeer · 14/01/2020 14:44

Don't put them on Freecycle. They'll very likely end up being sold. If you're going to give them away, a charity shop is better.

PsychosonicCindy · 14/01/2020 14:48

I'm the same as other pps, sell them and treat your daughter with the money. I've bought my kids presents second hand from ebay when I've been short of money so you are still helping people out.

Earslaps · 14/01/2020 14:49

I would suggest selling the toys and putting the money into your daughter's savings account. You can always give a proportion of the money to charity, that way the people benefitting are your daughter and the charity. Charity shops have a lot of toys in at the moment, but specific items often sell really well in Facebook groups.

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