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Original poster

16yr old Grandaughter awful work experience

92 replies

Leosnewmummy · 14/01/2020 09:35

Hi
Need advice what to do for the best. My 16 yr old DGD started a week long work experience yesterday in a salon due to it being part of her college work. She had to find the work experience herself and due to most salons not taking anyone or already booked this shop was the only one. She spoke to the manager who said come in at 10 till five, Monday to Friday. On arrival no manager was there only 6 staff who were all polish and didn't know why she was there. They called the manager who said GDG was there to sweep up and make coffee. This was disheartening for her to hear as she was looking forward to learning beauty procedures.
No one spoke to her and they all chatted together in Polish, she felt very unwelcome. Afrer lunch one of 2 men who work there said to my GDG he would curl her hair, which was a nice thing to do. When curling her hair he and the other guy were talking in Polish and she thought they were talking about her. Then one said to the other "get her to suck yr cock" pointing at my DGD.
Obviously she was mortified, she's 16 and a very young 16 I might add, very girly and a bit geeky. Then the guy curling her hair see her screen saver on her phone which is a photo of GDG and her boyfriend. He said "how old are you" she replied 16.
He said is that yr boyfriend she said yes. "Have you fucked him" no, " why not yr old enough you should fuck him".
She was so upset and scared but didn't know what to do. Sat on her own until 5pm then went to one women to get her booked signed. She told the woman what had been said to her and the woman said "oh he was only joking don't worry he's not in Wednesday you will have a better day. Needless to say my DGD went straight to my Dd place if work, crying and shaking begging her mum not to make her go back today. Well my Dd is fuming she's going to the salon today to confront them, then to the college to report it. My DGD is worried the college will now fail her because she's not completing her work experience. What would you do? I think the police should also be told. Her first taste of adult working life and this happens, how awful for her. And the 2 men are gay so may think its OK to speak like this to any females, I don't know.

OP posts:
Equanimitas · 14/01/2020 10:25

Your DD shouldn't confront the people in the salon, it will achieve nothing. Much better to concentrate on sorting out proper work experience with the college.

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 14/01/2020 10:28

Don’t go to the salon, that would be pointless. Complain to the college. What they did is sexual harassment.

blinkingowl · 14/01/2020 10:30

It's awful. The men are what you need to focus on...not the Polish staff or the sweeping and coffee. That's all normal...the staff ignoring her IS rude though but the main issue is the men!

No it’s also all the staff speaking in Polish, thereby totally excluding her. Why should that be excused, and considered “normal”.

Comefromaway · 14/01/2020 10:31

Whilst I agree the men is the main issue to focus on the rest of the stuff (no one expecting her, no-one communicating with her, no thought given to tasks/structure of the day, no induction etc) all builds a larger picture of a lack of basic duty of care.

Someone has to do the "menial" tasks. I've had w/e people who find filing and photocopying boring but someone has to do it and I do my fair share in a normal working day so sweeping up etc is fair but it shuld be in a wider context of being shown how things work as a whole.

Al1cewith2020vision · 14/01/2020 10:31

I’d be asking what risk assessment the college did for this placement. Just because your GD found the placement herself doesn’t remove the college’s safeguarding responsibilities.

BohoBunney · 14/01/2020 10:33

I used to work in a placements office of a university, and even short term placements they were credit baring needed to be approved by the university and an agreement signed by all 3 parties (outlined health and safety expectations, expectations of the “employer” etc). Did she need to complete anything like this? I’d be really shocked if she didn’t (even though our students were all 18+ we still had a duty of care towards them). Please speak to the college about this, she shouldn’t fail for this and it’s likely they will have another procedure to follow for those not able to secure placements / extenuating circumstances

Stefoscope · 14/01/2020 10:35

I wouldn't confront the salon workers but I would calmly let the manager know the facts. That way I'd feel like I'd at least given them the opportunity to ensure this doesn't happen to someone else. What they do or don't do with that information is up to them.

lottiegarbanzo · 14/01/2020 10:40

The sexual harrassment is the main issue here.

I'd ask her to write down, calmly and factually, what happened. Send a copy to the salon manager and one to college. Call college, explain to her tutor / the WE organiser and ask them to help her find a more suitable placement for the rest of the week.

If she's really active about it, she might be able to line something up she can go to tomorrow.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/01/2020 10:41

Sweeping up and making coffee; totally normal for work experience.

But tsexual harassment? Absolutely appalling. I really hope she hasn't gone back in today. This needs to be reported to the college and the manager of the salon ASAP (and possibly the police as well).

TheMustressMhor · 14/01/2020 10:43

And the 2 men are gay so may think its OK to speak like this to any females, I don't know

Oh yes, OP.

Of course the two men being gay means they automatically think it's okay to speak like this to females.

WTAF?

I can't believe you wrote that.

TheMustressMhor · 14/01/2020 10:43

How did your GD know they were gay anyway?

SameOldHorrorStory · 14/01/2020 10:49

I would report it and not go back but be clear in what you are reporting.

Your granddaughter heard them speak Polish and thinks it was about her. Unless she is fluent in Polish she does not know whether they were speaking about her or what they were saying.

She expected to be giving beauty treatments and was instead stuck sweeping the floor and making coffee. Well, that’s what generally happens on work experience. Would I want an inexperienced 16 year old giving me a facial? No.

She should absolutely complain about the way she was spoken to and how it was brushed off. I would also complain if the school forced her to go back there and decided she would “fail” or get a black mark against her if she refused because of this.

Comefromaway · 14/01/2020 10:50

To be fair to the OP I know several gay men who think that because they are not attracted to a woman they can safely say things that would otherwise be unacceptable and I have heard that attitude from straight people too (oh he's gay so he doesn't mean anything by it)

Comefromaway · 14/01/2020 10:51

She was not expecting to give beauty treatments she was expecting to "learn beauty procedures" - big difference and not an unreasonable expectation for someone studying a vocational college course.

lottiegarbanzo · 14/01/2020 10:53

Oh, just read about your DGD's mother 'confronting' everyone. What's the point of your thread then, you want to escalate things further? Stir up extra drama? Why?

Your DGD was tasked by her college with arranging this WE herself. That's important. It's part of her learning to take responsibility for her own learning and her own working life. She needs to talk to her college about it herself. She needs to work with her tutors to find a way around this, so she can complete her course. (Her course, not yours, not her DM's, hers).

While I understand her DM's desire to talk to the salon owner, interaction with the college, about her own course, is your DGD's responsibility.

SameOldHorrorStory · 14/01/2020 10:59

But that’s not the norm with work experience @Comefromaway. Some lucky few might actually come away learning something but for the majority, it is just shit life cleaning, photocopying and making tea.

Also, if the two guys are gay, why did one say to the other “you should get her to suck your cock”? Makes no sense.

Comefromaway · 14/01/2020 11:02

This isn;t Year 10 school work experience though. Its college (presumably dgd is doing a beauty type btec etc) And I saw the forms both my son;t school sent out to his placement and the ones we receive at work from schools and colleges. An induction is an absolute necessity and there has to be some kind of learning experience.

Notnownotneverever · 14/01/2020 11:03

That is awful and I really feel for your DGD and DD. I. Would complain to the college and actually get them to complain to the salon.
Also I think if your DD doesn’t already I would look at getting her a part time/Saturday job or some more work experience or volunteering somewhere suitable, even just with family, but just so she doesn’t get too nervous about workplaces in the future. Not much, even just a charity shop or couple of hours at a animal rescue, just something to stop future worries.

If1knewiwouldnotbehere · 14/01/2020 11:05

While I understand her DM's desire to talk to the salon owner, interaction with the college, about her own course, is your DGD's responsibility.

Bullsh*t. She's 16 and needs to be protected. FFS

Original poster
Leosnewmummy · 14/01/2020 11:06

My Dd has been and spoken to the salon owner, the guy was there denied everything whist smirking. My Dd is now at the police station to report it then will go to the college. Making sure no other young girl has to do her work experience at this salon.

OP posts:
TheMustressMhor · 14/01/2020 11:06

To be fair to the OP I know several gay men who think that because they are not attracted to a woman they can safely say things that would otherwise be unacceptable and I have heard that attitude from straight people too (oh he's gay so he doesn't mean anything by It)

Good grief. This has not been my experience of gay men.

Why would gay men be so disrespectful?

Ironfloor269 · 14/01/2020 11:07

I'd do everything pps suggested - complain to police, college, vile salon - also, I'd get on the local Facebook page and name and shame the salon.

What happened to your DGD is unacceptable. What a horrible gr6of people.

lottiegarbanzo · 14/01/2020 11:09

Yes, she needs to be protected by the college. To achieve that she needs to tell the college what happened and talk through what happens next with her tutors.

Juliette20 · 14/01/2020 11:10

I'd report it to the school and leave it with them.

I went on a school-organised work experience when I was 14, with a group of other girls from school. The idea was to get us trying out male dominated jobs. We all went to a building site to learn basic brick-laying. A whole bunch of builders shouted at us from scaffolding, calling us slags and using other words of a similar nature. Horrible to hear this sort of thing still goes on 30 years later.

P1nkHeartLovesCake · 14/01/2020 11:13

No the sexual stuff isn’t ok and should of course be reported to the college.

However what being polish has to do with anything is beyond me. Why is the fact the other staff were polish a problem Confused

Sweeping up and making tea is normal is the early days of these placements, she was never going to walk in and learn beauty procedures. It just doesn’t work like that I’m the real world, at these placements you start sweeping.... Maybe warn her of that for the next placement or she’s going to be very disappointed

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