to expect dh NOT to spend his paternity leave doing VAT returns and playing computer games?

[MrsBadger]

eh? eh?

[breaks down and wails irrationaly amidst welter of hormones, cobwebs, revolting gifts, dirty teacups and unwritten thankyou cards]

If it's his own VAT return then YABU about that bit, as he'd be fined if not in in time.

YANBU about the computer games though.

it is his own VAT return

Oh gawd. Paternity leave. DH only ever took a week, most of which was spent with me in hospital. Always promised a second week later on, when apparently I would need him more. Well, ds is 6 and dd is 3 and both second weeks are still pending...

. Poor you. Does he respond to lists at all?

And is there anything practical that I can do to help, MrsB? Email me if there is - jackieno at hotmail dot co dot uk.

there are no lists
everything needs doing
(except laundry)

and he says he is fed up with being in the house and wants to have a nice day out as a family.
His suggested nice day out is driving 2h cross country and back for a pub lunch,
whereas yesterday I nearly had a sodding nervous breakdown just taking the pram round town to Waitrose to get salmon fillets for lunch with PIL.

and I feel bad because he is fabulous with dd and cooks lovely meals and brings me tea in the mornings if he's not going out cycling.

AIBU to want to take to my bed like a Victorian invalid and refuse to leave the house till Christmas?

Brings you tea if he's not going out cycling?! Bugger that.

Tell him what needs doing. Go and have a sleep while he does it. And yes, he should just do it anyway without being told, but he is probably feeling a bit clueless.

DH was much more clued up with our second, not that that's any consolation to you...

YANBU!
I wanted to stay in bed like said Victorian invalid and I was "persuaded" out of it, and got up and did everything. With the result that 2 weeks after DD was born I made myself ill. If I'd known that DD was going to have more time in growth spurts than out, and that it was going to take so much time and energy to get her to sleep through, I would have put my foot down. Next time things will be different!