Getting married in secret

[MommaBee97]

My and my fiancé have been engaged for over a year, and recently we've been discussing planning our wedding and getting the ball rolling. We have 4 children between us so we figured what better time to tie the knot. We've been discussing just going to a registry office, getting married, and heading on our honeymoon for a weekend break away. It doesn't seem alot, but for us this is perfect. I feel like I'm going to upset a few people within my family, but AIBU?

Speaking as a mum of 2 adult children and I grandchild. I would be upset if I wasn't invited to their wedding, even it was just us, immediate family.
Speaking as someone who married for the 2nd time so had a blended family, definitely keep it small.
Congratulations and I wish you all health and happiness.

Are you including all the DC?

I think people usually say it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission and it’s your choice.

Are you including the dc in the arrangements or do you literally mean just the 2 of you ?
What about witnesses ?

I can understand not wanting a fuss, but I would be hurt if any of my dc got married without inviting me.

I can't conceive the idea of having got married without my parents and siblings there but maybe that says more about the relationship I have /had with my family. If it is 'best for you', as you say in your opening post, then do it.

We did this because neither of us wanted the faff of even a tiny wedding, and we both have large families, so even only ‘immediate family’ was already sizeable numbers. We didn’t tell anyone for well over a year — or it might have been more — afterwards, so perhaps people felt it would have been ridiculous to get upset about a long-past registry office quickie with two witnesses.

I think the only person who seemed genuinely miffed was my SIL, who’d been planning her own very trad white wedding since babyhood — she seemed personally insulted that another woman had thought that getting married was unimportant enough to wear jeans for. She seemed fine with DH marrying in jeans, but thought it made me an Unnatural Woman.

Everyone else was fine.