To ask for a tour of our flat?

[Elouera]

I live in a 2 bed flat, and due to the open layout, you can see almost every room simply by walking through to the lounge. A work colleague came over recently. We've been out for dinner a few times, but never been to each others homes. It wasn't an invite to have a meal or spent time at our place, simply to meet before heading out elsewhere. On arrival though she asked for a tour of our flat! I was a bit take aback. Although the flat was clean, I had clothes and things in our bedroom as had the door closed and didn't expect to be providing a tour! I would never think to ask for a tour of someone elses home. Thoughts please?

Everyone’s house or flat I’ve been gave just showed me around without asking.

Kinda of a given here notice to show your flat off. Very strange if you didnt...think you had something to hide

It was unbelievably rude of her to ask. It might be different, though still cheeky, to ask if you lived in a converted lighthouse or something highly unusual like that, but otherwise no! The house-holder might offer, to good friends, if they'd just moved in somewhere, but even then it would normally be somewhere unusual, and you wouldn't expect to show bedrooms etc, unless they had a prime view of Big Ben. 'Touring' your average 3 bed semi is just weird.

Assuming your flat is neither a covered lighthouse, nor overlooking a national monument, YADNBU.

My dc always give their friends a bloody tour!! We have a big old oddly laid out house!!
Going to make a price list.

I think it's typical to want to look around if someone's moved into a new place or just redecorated, but even then I wouldn't ask unless it was a close friend or family member, and if they've lived there a while, it seems odd to expect a tour if you're not a houseguest who needs to know the lay of the land.

If people want to show off their home, they'll usually waste no time suggesting it themselves.

Kinda of a given here notice to show your flat off. Very strange if you didnt...think you had something to hide

Seriously? I wouldn't dream of offering a random visitor a tour of my house. Why on earth would I?
Nor can I ever recall being offered a tour of anyone else's, outside family or close friends who'd just moved into a new property.

I would never ask for a tour, although I am often asked for a tour of my house and am almost always given one of other people's!

I find it odd, but oblige and accept other people's offers!

What an odd thing to ask, I’d be horrified if someone asked me with no warning!

Very odd.

**Kinda of a given here notice to show your flat off. Very strange if you didnt...think you had something to hide

Personally I don’t think it’s strange not giving someone a tour of your house. I think it’s strange and weird to do so. Why would you?! I’ve never given anyone a tour of my house nor would I expect a tour of theirs.

I thought this was completely normal as a child as my mother gave every guest to the house 'the tour'. She spends thousands every year redecorating so obviously needs to get her money's worth!

Quite common IME if you've recently moved in somewhere new, but a bit weird if you haven't. Depends on the dynamic too - my mum/best friend etc, it wouldn't ever be weird, but a more casual friend it would.

Thanks for everyones thoughts. No, I don't live in a lighthouse or something with exciting views!!! lol. Simply a 2 bed flat, all on one level. She is from Eastern Europe originally, so I wasn't sure if its a culture thing?

I've lived here 15yrs, so no, haven't recently moved in either.

I've lived in this house for 10 years and have many visitors, but in that time have not been asked for a single 'tour', though I have shown extension and renovations to a few who have asked because they have asked for builder recommendations and want to see the finish before they commit. Only tour I've 'received' in that time was a new renovation by architect friends.

Sounds like there's a cultural divide within the UK, and may be a cultural divide outside - an Eastern European friend recently offered me a tour of their house (not in UK), so maybe it is more common there. Certainly I've found that questions about family finances are more acceptable there.

@Elouera Yes it is odd and bloody rude IMO, to demand to be shown around someone's home, (like round their bedrooms and the shitter and so on!) I mean WTF? WHY?

I know some people insist on showing off their home when you go for the first time, and if baffles me, because I don't give a shit about looking around their home. So I am just nodding politely and saying 'mmm' at each room, because I have seen bedrooms and bathrooms and kitchens before funnily enough, (and am rarely impressed!)

Unless it's something outlandishly amazing - like a castle, or a stately home, or a 700 year old house with 3 or 4 floors and a huge cellar (or as a pp said, a lighthouse or a windmill,) I can't imagine why anyone thinks that people give a shit about looking around their home.

This is a cultural thing. My family (Northern, working class) would do a tour for any new visitor. My H’s family (Southern, middle class) wouldn’t. There are rooms in his sister’s house I have never seen.

I am Northern working class and it wouldn't cross my mind to do tours for new visitors. If someone asked I might show them downstairs but never up.

I think I read on here that tours are popular in Ireland. I’d only expect a tour of a recently acquired home and only if the host offered.

I’m in NI (not sure if relevant?) but it isn’t routine here to be shown round someone’s house unless you’ve been invited to see their new house or they’ve had some work done they want to show off.

I’d think it really odd and blatantly nosey to be asked to show someone round my home.

I normally give guests a little tour if they haven’t been here before (friends and family, not someone fixing the boiler!) because I want them to know where things are if they need the loo etc.

You mentioned she was from Eastern Europe and it go me thinking. All of the people I know from (various) places in Europe do the house tour thing when you visit their home. Perhaps it is a cultural thing then? It’s not something I grew up with so generally don’t. They probably think I’m rude now for not doing it when they have visited my home. It’s just something that wouldn’t occur to me to do. Maybe if I’ve just moved to a new place and family came over for the first time to see the new house.

Growing up, whenever I visited a friends house we generally only really seen friends bedroom, bathroom and maybe kitchen and living room. Parents and sibling bedrooms were always off limits. You occasionally got a glance through an open door but never a proper look in the room. As an adult now I don’t ever expect a full house tour. Living room and bathroom are standard. Maybe kitchen so you can help make cups of tea. Even now when I visit relatives (mum, cousin, brother etc) I don’t venture near bedrooms or wander round the house to look in other rooms. If a door is closed it usually means not to go in and I assume (if anything like me) they might have done a quick tidy and out mess out the road in another room to be sorted later. Or perhaps have clothes and other general mess laying around and they don’t want people to see.

Am surprised how many think this was normal.

Don't get me wrong, I'm nosy, and LOVE looking round houses, so would have looked if you offered it but I wouldn't expect house tours of anywhere if I were just a colleague popping in to 'collect you' for a night out, or, quite frankly, if I were invited for dinner.

I mean, I'd expect a tour if someone was excited at having just moved in, or just having had an extension completed or something - when people are excited about it and have been talking about it - but not in a normal visit to an ordinary house that someone has been living in for years.

When I moved into my (then) new house 18 years ago, a few people asked if they could have a tour. I said no, and meant it. I think it is an incredibly rude request.
A friend of mine lived on the road our DDs' primary school was on, and was often asked, by parents she didn't know, if they could have a look round the house. They never did!!

I've got a relative who has a large house stuffed with various unusual antiques. Almost everyone who comes asks for a tour in one way or another. I even ended up giving a truncated tour to an ambulance crew recently who were fascinated (GP had told us to call - turned out not to be quite as serious as the GP feared but they had to hang around a bit to do observations and work out if patient needed to go to hospital or not, in case anyone was wondering what they were doing there!)