To ask if arguing ruined your relationship?

[birdseyedinner]

DP and I are constantly arguing and we don't even live together! He never listens to me, I've tried to communicate in a different way so he doesn't feel attacked but it's still the same. I'm just exhausted and worn out, haven't seen him in a week and I don't even miss him to be honest. Even if we do make up, I always have this lingering feeling that in a week or two times it's going to kick off again and we will be back to not speaking again.

Has arguing killed your relationship? I feel like it has, and I don't even miss him.

To be honest it doesn't sound like much of a relationship, I think if I felt as you do I'd be ending it.

haven't seen him in a week and I don't even miss him

Then there's no loss if you break up. What's stopping you from breaking up with him?

Your situation sounds really difficult and exhausting and so yes it could ruin things. I'm not sure anyone could live like that indefinitely.

Weirdly however, lack of arguing probably ended my marriage. Almost until the end nearly 20 years he'd boast to others that we never argued but that was because we were both simmering with resentment that exploded within the space of a year, killing the marriage stone dead.

On the plus side we had a (on the surface) a fairly quiet peaceable home life for the kids. Two ends of the same spectrum I suppose, healthy discussion or airing of difference sets a good example and clears the air. Relentless combat or total repression not good.

Why are with him, and what are you arguing about constantly?

What do actually you argue about? Probably sounds really smug, but me and my boyfriend very rarely argue tbh, we have lived together for two years and had a couple of fall outs, but what can there be to "constantly" argue about? Sounds too much like hard work tbh.

It sounds like you already know it’s over.

I miss my oh if we are apart for a few hours, and love seeing her again. After 8 years. If you don't miss him after a week why are you with him?

Is it time to end it?

Why are you even bothering with him? There is a complete and fundamental inability to communicate like healthy, mature adults. Why on earth are you wasting your time with him?

Just walk away. Life is too short to waste on someone you don't miss.