5 year old playing with climbing rope- AIBU

[HotGlueGun]

Can you tell me whether I’m BU as I really don’t know in this situation! My in-laws bought my now 5 year old a 20ft length of climbing rope for Christmas when he was 3. They also bought him a climbing harness but he’s never really taken to indoor climbing walls and prefers to climb furniture etc. But he LOVES to play with this rope. It make me massively anxious, however as I worry about accidental strangulation. I suffer with anxiety and am massively risk-averse by nature so in my view, this was an entirely inappropriate gift for a small child and I hate him playing with it. My husband, however, is way more chilled than I am and is a natural risk-taker (ie re: his hobbies etc) and doesn’t perceive risk in the same way that I do.... so he will let DS play with this rope. It is always with supervision but if my husband supervises he is a lot less vigilant than I am. Oh wise people of MN, can you tell me if my concerns are reasonable or if my anxiety is making me excessively paranoid? Yes = I am BU; No = totally fine to play with rope.

Terrified.... this is what I’m concerned about but I get that accidents like that are few and far between. I just can’t always gauge what level of worry is reasonable, if you see what I mean, so tend to err on the side of caution.

'all he’s interested in doing is tying it to furniture/ the bannister/ the washing line and making webs etc with it.'

TBH sounds like an accident waiting to happen.

Actually, I think you’re probably right OP. I’m a ex-rock climber. At 4, DS used a climbing rope used a rope to “abseil” his Redford of the bannisters. It would only be a short step to him abseiling himself off the bannisters. It would not be beyond reasonable that a curious and dexterous 5 year old could strangle themselves.

For those unfamiliar with modern climbing rope - it’s usually 8, 9 or 11 mm thick, and very slippy.

If it usually lives in the garage and only comes out periodically then it should be a fairly simple job to ‘lose’ it.

It’s a weird present to buy such a young child who isn’t already immersed in climbing as a hobby.

I get the whole ‘teach him to be safe with it’ argument, but it’s a 20ft rope, not an everyday object or activity where teaching risk assessment and management would be worth the stress and pay off.

Just ‘lose’ it. Even if only temporarily until he’s older.

Oh, and YANBU.

I’m very keen to lose the rope and have hated it from day one. But my husband, who has dabbled with climbing and has his own (ancient and probably unsafe) ropes, seems to think he’s encouraging a love of climbing in our son by letting him play with it. I think I will put it in the loft where it’s very definitely out of sight and out of mind.

I just lost my post

Lose the rope ,it's not something to 'play' with, it's equipment that should be used when climbing only.

He's 5,at that age kids are playing independtly and you'd only need him to try and climb down the banisters with it for there to be disastrous consequences. Look how dangerous blind cords are.

Best he learns it's not something he has outside organised climbing.

all he’s interested in doing is tying it to furniture/ the bannister/ the washing line and making webs etc with it.

If he's just tying it around the place I'd probably relax a bit, if he's then climbing and swinging about on it then he needs supervising.
Ropes can be good fun and I'm all for risk taking but seeing as children can and have strangled themselves on things like hair bands and dressing gown cords it's not something I'd just leave them to it with.

My small DS nearly strangled in a blind cord. It was very quiet and undramatic. I was lucky to spot what was happening.

Mine loved playing with wool, and made burglar traps all around the house. Difference being, it snaps under stress so is relatively risk free apart from tripping and falling flat on your face in a cradle of wool.

It's a very odd gift to give such a young child, could you negotiate with DH that DS only plays with it when you're there. I think actually the risk is very small but may help your anxiety.

I think the people on here saying that OP is being unreasonable actually have little knowledge of what a (rock) climbing rope is.

What a bizarre and inappropriate gift for a small child! I like him having his own harness though. They can have great fun on an auto belay at that age.

I am firmly of the view that children can play with pretty much anything, but that they need to be taught how to use things correctly and safely.

There is a video of a school in Norway where the young child climb trees/play with knives etc but all in a safe manner, and I think it’s great

Absolutely bizarre gift and l wouldn't be happy with it being treated as a "toy".... because it isn't. It's a piece of safety equipment that should be handled with respect.

I don't mean the above in a killjoy way as non toy thing's can obviously be great for children's imagination..... but l wouldn't want a child to get in the habit of playing with safely equipment.

Climber with DCs here. In short, no I wouldn’t let DC play with it unsupervised. Climbing rope is lovely stuff but it’s not a toy.

My parents used to do shit like this all the time, giving the kids stuff that they considered safe. Df also used to repair fuses with tinfoil, which tells you everything you need to know about his common sense.

I think op is right when she says that risk assessment is hard to get right, and as someone else mentioned, attitudes in Scandinavian countries are very different to the UK

One thing to bear in mind is that children need to learn about risk and limits ...I heard somewhere that it's the teenager who was never allowed to jump off a wall or play with knives and fire that is more likely to make poor judgements when finally let loose on their own.

He really isn't going to strangle himself with your husband in the room. YABU.

Proper climbing does not involve giving a child rope to play with! lock the rope away and ask them if they want to pay for lessons.

I heard somewhere that it's the teenager who was never allowed to jump off a wall or play with knives and fire that is more likely to make poor judgements when finally let loose on their own.

Someone is an idiot. Playing with knives and dire is not a necessary step in teaching teenagers to be safe

Equally teaching a young child that safety equipment is a toy is idiotic

I am sure the ropes are deemed safe for children, and kids have been climbing ropes for years. My now adult son and daughter had a Dad who was an outdoor adventure type, and he was always rigging up ropes and stuff in the trees outside for them to play with. It's good for children to have some challenges.

I'm very far from an expert on climbing rope, but do know enough that I wouldn't want to use it for climbing after it's been played around with about the house incase there is unseen internal damage.

At 5, with supervision and regular reminding of rules like don't put it around your neck, the chances of an accident are very, very low. It is healthy to play imaginatively (and safely) with non-toys.

A 20ft length is virtually no use for climbing anyway.

It is always with supervision but if my husband supervises he is a lot less vigilant than I am

I think this is the main issue. You feel your husband won’t look after him as well as you do and therefore and tense. I’m sure your husband isn’t stupid and would absolutely prevent your child from hurting himself.

I played with skipping ropes at 5.

Is it any different to that?

have you got two trees in the garden that you could fix the rope to ,
[__] < extended arms height
[-----] < foot or 18 inch off the ground
did this in forest school
or just hide the rope till its forgotten about