AIBU to feel this way? Advice please

[Noppointinwednesdays]

Hi all, first time posting but have been here for a while.

I am due my first DC in June. Wasn’t planned but happy none the less but as time is going on, I can’t help but feel like I’m loosing myself a little bit like I’m loosing the person I was before? I’m just wondering if any other mums felt this way?

I also feel a little resentment toward my dp in a way as well as I feel as soon as that test came up positive, my life changed in that moment but nothing has changed for him yet? I know that’s me just being a bit of a bitch tbh and BU with that respect but again, did anyone else feel this way?

I would just like to point out my dp is great is really attentive always asking if I’m ok etc but with the festive period just past, he was able to get up and go on nights/days out without a second thought and I couldn’t help but feel resentful sometimes. Is this normal?

Any advice honestly would be greatly appreciated.

Children are a huge sacrifice and you do lose part of yourself now and for the next few years. Sorry OP but I think you just need to get used to this feeling

Thanks for replying Weffiepops I do know that things are going to change massively and will do for the rest of my life but I was just wondering if it’s normal to feel this way?

I have a couple of friends that are due April/may and they seem like everything is rainbows and butterflies and was feeling a bit worried that I don’t necessarily feel like that all the time?

Everything is so new I guess it can all be a bit overwhelming.

My dc is 9mo now and I can hardly remember who I used to be. 2nd due in a few months, wanted to get the baby years out of the way quick as hopefully the more independent they get, the more independent I can get again. Just keep holding on Op.

I think it's perfectly natural to feel like that as the baby is growing inside of you, not your DP.

However you said he was able to get up and go on nights/days out without a second thought

Why couldn't you do the same?

It’ll all be different when baby is there for your DH. I think men just tend to think nothings changed till they have a screaming newborn to look after. What your feeling is normal, but as already said you’ll just have to get used to it. It gets harder when they’re actually here for the first few years.

It’s very normal.

However try to go out and socialise, enjoy any free time as much as you are able during your pregnancy. Clearly it might be a different sort of socialising but do it anyway.

And always keep a bit of yourself even when you have the baby. Even if it’s time for a long soak in the bath or a coffee with your friends. It does help keep you sane.

I felt like that when I was pregnant and when dc were newborns, breastfeeding and stuck to me.
It’s totally normal.
Try to have time for yourself in those newborn days. My dh was fine to look after the baby while I popped out inbetween feeds. Even going out in the evenings to catch up with friends for a quick meal.
I used to have the radio on all day so I felt mentally stimulated.
I went parent and toddler groups, baby swim, buggy fit in the park just so I felt I was doing something for myself too.
It’s not easy but it doesn’t last long.

I apologise if this is the wrong things to ask but are you sure you definitely want a baby?

worra I’m sorry I should have said rather than drop feeding I’ve had such bad morning sickness ( anytime of day sickness lol ) since the start and still have it unfortunately so I think I was feeling a bit jealous that he could just up and out while I was camping out in the bathroom and I know that’s totally BU to feel like that think because it’s all new.

Thank you everyone for your advice and being so kind I’ll definitely be taking it on board. Tbh I actually feel a lot better knowing it’s normal to feel like this.

Dita73 Please don’t apologise for asking. I suppose it must look like that in a way. I really do want the baby I think it’s just been a bit tough being in and out of hospital with morning sickness and feeling a bit lost while like I said, it seems to be butterflies and rainbows for others if that makes sense.

Thanks so much for the advice everyone I really do appreciate it

*drip not drop

Your “ morning” sickness sounds really tough.

AS others have said totally normal to feel as you do. I think mothers get the best of parenting though, even though it’s naturally more intense for us.
I found once the baby arrived I could have an almost dual experience going on, with me feeling a bit lost in milk pads and nappies while simultaneously being floored by the love you feel for your baby .