Full time work with 3 young kids

[Nic165]

I'm due dc3 in June. For various reasons I am planning to go back full time but working 40 hours over 4 days instead of 5. My eldest will be 5, middle child 2 and youngest 7 months. Am I just being totally unrealistic going back on so many hours? I already find it stressful most weeks with 2 DC and maintaining the housework, even with DP here to do his bit. Maybe I'm just not organised enough. The reasons for going back full time are financial and I was recently promoted so want to keep working so as not to lose out on further promotions in the future. Does anyone else work full time with 3 (or more) kids and could share any tips or advice?

This is such an individual choice.

I went back full time after my first son and after my second son I cut back and went part time (25 hours). The thought of working full time and looking after two young children was not something I wanted.

I have missed out on promotions and my monthly take home pay dropped by £700 but it has been totally worth it.

What are your plans regarding childcare?

Me and my DH both grow up in families where both parents worked full time and I know that I feel quite sad about missing out on so much time with my mom. I have lots of wonderful memories from my children but they all surround activities I did with the childminder and not many related of to my mom.

My sons are 5 and 2 now and only go in childcare one day a week and I absolutely love being able to spend so much time with them.

I figure I have got 30 years still ahead of me in my career, so lots of time to get promotions and pay rises etc but my children are so young for such a short space of time that I want to make the most of it.

Like I said though, everyone is different, they come from different background, have different aims and goals etc and no way is the “right way”. You need to do whatever you think is best for you and your family.

Sorry - I have only just realised you weren’t asking for opinions on going back full time

I completely misread the post.

Please ignore all I said and I hope someone helpful comes along soon

That's going to be gruelling with 3 children. I assume you're going to be out of the house from something like 7am to 6pm or later once you add in travel time, dropping off and picking up the children, etc.

You and your DP will need to be super organised. Everything prepped the night before. With agreements in place about who will cover having time off when children are sick or have appointments, etc.

The financial rewards for me would have to be enough to buy in some help... at the very least a cleaner, ironing service and a meal prep delivery service.

I’m going back full time too with 3, we’ll see how we go! Part time work not really available to me. I would say top notch childcare is essential. We’re intending to get a nanny.

Yes, also a cleaner. Hadn’t considered an ironing service... I keep ironing to a very bare minimum, try not to buy tops that need ironing and my dh can do his own shirts!

TBH, four days of full time work with good, reliable childcare in place is probably less stressful in some ways than part-time work with the kids at home on non-working days.

The house will stay tidy while you are out, presumably kids will have been fed on work days so it’s just bedtime to do? Timed washes (put in the night before, starts while you are out, hang when you get home) are your friend. Do this religiously every day.

With one child in Reception, homework etc. will be minimal. It does get trickier with two then three kids in school with reading, homework and clubs!

Could dp also condense their hours to 40 over 4? Then you can bookend the week with a day off each

I third a cleaner who also irons! It’s the most valuable spend we make every week in terms of our ability to cope with two jobs and three kids!

I only have 2, but I have a friend who had 3 and worked full time ( 35hours approx over 5 days) for many years.
She has a very supportive husband who doesn't do crazy hours and worked from home a lot. He did lots of drop offs/ pick ups. She also had grandparent help and is a very laid back person. Her house is never spotless.
It was totally worth it for her and her career, they also needed 2 salaries and now her children are older they are comfortably well off.
You'll need to be organised and oursource jobs, ie food shopping online, a cleaner, dry cleaners etc.
On your day off try not to rush around getting a million things done but spend quality time with your DC.

How much your dp is involved will be the key here.

sorry but why have 3rd child when you plan to work full time?

What happens when the kids are sick or you are ? That seems to be when the wheels fall off

I think this depends on your set up as a family and the childcare in place.

Does your husband work crazy hours too? Can you afford a nanny?

sorry but why have 3rd child when you plan to work full time?

Are you asking this of the OP or the children's dad as well?

Also definitely get a cleaner!

I think it's going to be hard, maybe draw yourself up a rota. I do find being very organised helps. Also if you could possibly afford it get a cleaner a couple of times a week to take the pressure off.
Maybe get children's clothes out the night before, do packed lunches ect the night before. X

Some cleaners iron too. X

@bluebell34567 for the same reasons as having 1 or 2 surely?

I'm a single mum to 3 working part time and at uni full time. I leave at 7am and don't get back until 7pm after picking up the kids as my son is at a special school for his autism and I don't drive.

It is killing me.

We did this for a very short space of time with just 2 dc and tbh it was a nightmare. Dh and I both switched to 4 compressed days (one different) so it was only Mon-Wed that we were both working and needed childcare and it was much better.

We now have 3 and have taken the hit of dh being a SAHD and whilst we’re skint until dc3 is in school, life is much easier and more manageable.

What is your childcare going to be? I think it’s doable just will be tough- you need to PLAN a lot. So everything ready for the next day for the night before. Batch cook a few meals for the freezer in advance, and definitely don’t feel at all guilty about some easy kids meals/cheats and shortcuts. If you can afford a cleaner, get one. On the 5th day will you be at home with the kids?

I have 3 and work full time in a demanding job. Of course it's hard. But it is doable. You just have to accept a level of chaos and exhaustion is inevitable and you won't have free time or a perfect home. People will needle you for not being super worker if you have to prioritise the DC, and for not being super parent because you are so much at work. But doable, yes. It is. Just about

Pick childcare which feeds meals you don't have to supply.

Declutter the entire house and keep it tidy so it only has to be cleaned not tidied then cleaned - that's my top tip!
Plan meals in advance and make/freeze meals in advance.
Have a family calendar (slot per person per day) so you can see where you all are/who is picking up whom etc.
Get a cleaner if you can afford it.
Do your food shopping online and get it delivered.
Don't have any pets - too much looking after/stress/time (sorry I know that sounds awful)

I'd take Wednesday as my day off if poss. It will give you a break mid-week from the early starts I assume you will be having with 10 hour days.