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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Telling partner about private info

33 replies

drzebedee · 12/01/2020 01:11

So this week my parttner mentioned his best friend at work (whom i've met and got on well with) was going to propose to his partner on holiday none of my business you might think but he found out 6 months ago and didn't say anything until their holiday this week, I think it's a question of trust, I'm certainly not a blabbermouth but i've been told things in the past to keep to myself but eventually told my partner as I trust him so aibu to feel a little hurt?

OP posts:
steff13 · 12/01/2020 01:15

I think you're being unreasonable. Maybe he didn't think to tell you.

coffeeandpyjamas · 12/01/2020 01:16

You’ve said it yourself it’s none of your business so maybe he was being loyal to his friend and thought nothing more of it because you don’t need to know. YABU

araiwa · 12/01/2020 01:16

Get over yourself

You think you should know before the bride to be??

katy1213 · 12/01/2020 01:16

Why would you even be interested? None of your business - and respect to your partner for keeping his mouth shut.

PawPawNoodle · 12/01/2020 01:17

What on earth does it have to do with you? Maybe he respects his friend enough not to reduce his life to idle gossip.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 12/01/2020 01:20

Nah, YABU. Being a partner and trusting each other doesn't have to mean telling each other absolutely every single little thing in your head. Presumably the friend told your DP his intentions and maybe added a "tell no-one, even zebedee, please."

And if you are telling him things you're supposed to keep to yourself then that's you being crap, not a reflection on him for actually keeping a secret.

Topseyt · 12/01/2020 01:20

I really can't see what on earth the issue is here. Wouldn't bother me or interest me at all.

Retroflex · 12/01/2020 01:22

If my husband is anything to go by, he probably forgot all about it until he was somehow reminded that they were going away this week. Things which don't interest him get forgotten quickly.

But as someone else has said, why do you think you should have known before the potential bride to be?

PumpkinP · 12/01/2020 01:24

Why on earth would you care Confused

BonnyConnie · 12/01/2020 01:25

Presumably he told you because if camd to mind because they’re going for that holiday now? You can’t seriously think he’s spent the last six months thinking about this.

PumpkinCounty · 12/01/2020 01:26

Get a grip.

InkogKneeToe · 12/01/2020 01:27

none of my business

Nailed it.

PanicAndRun · 12/01/2020 01:32

1.none of your business
2.not a big deal for him so he didn't "keep it from you" for 6 months, more like he forgot /didn't think it was relevant
3.he knows you do share things you're not supposed to with him

Boom45 · 12/01/2020 01:42

You're annoyed you didn't know 6 months before the bride she was going to get a proposal? That's a bit odd. Your partner is allowed to keep his friends secrets.

Interestedwoman · 12/01/2020 01:44

If he'd said anything he'dve been betraying his friend's confidence. It speaks well of him that he didn't (until now Grin)

It's not a matter of whether he trusts you, it's a matter of him proving his friend is right to put his trust in him. He sounds like a really nice guy. His friend didn't tell you at the end of the day, and presumably didn't explicitly give his consent for you to be told.

It's a bit controlling for you to want to know the private details shared with your husband by his friends.

ThePinkiestPonk · 12/01/2020 01:49

Had to read that a few times but still don't understand what the issue is?

Creepster · 12/01/2020 01:49

I am so sorry. I know it feels like not being trusted when it is really just never thinking to mention it.
I get in trouble with family and friends for forgetting to share stuff like that all the time.

eaglejulesk · 12/01/2020 01:57

YABU, as you said, none of your business - and your partner doesn't have to tell you other people's secrets.

Surplus2requirements · 12/01/2020 02:00

Man proves himself reliable and keeps promise to best friend shock horror

LTB Grin

Durgasarrow · 12/01/2020 02:03

He was doing what he was supposed to do--keep a secret. As he promised to do. No, you shouldn't be hurt.

Aquamarine1029 · 12/01/2020 02:08

You're an admitted blabbermouth. You're surprised by this?

CKL987 · 12/01/2020 02:09

Is this a classic case of stereotypical male and female differences in what they think is important? My husband sometimes tells me things and when I ask why he didn't tell me before he says it's because he forgot or it was important to him. My brother is completely the same. Maybe your partner didn't care that much so it never crossed his mind to mention it before. He might not even have thought about it much since he found out 6 months ago.

vacayonmymind · 12/01/2020 02:11

I don’t understand why you would give a shit?

A question of trust?! LOL.

CKL987 · 12/01/2020 02:12

Sorry, I meant my husband didn't tell me things because they weren't important to him, not because they were.

LellyMcKelly · 12/01/2020 02:12

“So this week my parttner mentioned his best friend at work (whom i've met and got on well with) was going to propose to his partner on holiday none of my business”

That’s all you need to say.

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