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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not know how to feel this..

6 replies

Pisces90 · 11/01/2020 17:31

Backstory, 3 years ago my ex stopped co parenting and having regular contact with our child. This was because he met someone. (That old chestnut) Anyway it's been 3 years of hell.. him being pretty much absent, zero contact, no maintenance or support. I personally haven't seen him or spoke directly for over 2 years. Only through messages. I involved a solicitor last year to ask him if he ever wanted to have a relationship with his child. He had seen her sporadically starting around summer. Contact was minimal. This past month he has suddenly unblocked contact. He answers me about our daughter and the main thing is he is messaging her(emojis) and vidcalling her. He has also seen her 3 times this past month alone. I will add we stay about 20 miles away from him.

Now i have found out he has split from his partner and i feel like that is the only reason he is suddenly interested in our child again. He doesn't know that i know. It hurts because the damage has been done. My daughter doesn't ask for him anymore, there is no bond there. I am hoping this is him being a Dad to her again and building that bond but now she is older i am terrified he will let her down again.

I suppose i should be happy he is bothering but i still feel a bit bitter in all honesty with everything he has done. I am reasonable and try to get along with him and would never let on to him how much he actually hurt me with his behaviour towards our child.

Wondering if anyone else out there had an ex who always put their partner before the kids but once that relationship ended they suddenly became a good and involved parent?

OP posts:
Pisces90 · 11/01/2020 17:33

Feel about this* thread title fail!

OP posts:
debbs77 · 11/01/2020 17:44

This happens a lot. No advice. My new relationships and weak men are a recipe for disaster unfortunately

MyideaMy1dea529 · 11/01/2020 19:47

Your ex should pay child maintenance if he is the father

Pisces90 · 11/01/2020 22:04

Getting no maintenance isn't the issue. I got used to it! It's the fact now he is single he is suddenly taking more of an interest in our daughter. I don't know why so many people put their partner before their kids. Baffles me.

OP posts:
WhenISnappedAndFarted · 11/01/2020 22:16

It doesn't matter if you got used to it - he needs to be serious about his child and he needs to start paying for her.

Pisces90 · 11/01/2020 23:19

I have a case with the CMS, they are beyond useless. I will just have to wait it out and hopefully one day receive some financial support.

OP posts:
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