I feel like I can’t trust myself or my feelings, and I don’t know if I’m hesitating because I’m not sure or because I’m not brave enough. Have wanted to post for a while but have been worried DH will see but bugger it.
In the past DH has been very difficult to live with. Very selfish, moody, lazy, confrontational, shouty, arrogant, controlling about certain things and pretty miserable to live with. It took me a long time to see it all as the nice times were nice and it happened quite gradually. But more, I think I struggled to be honest with myself and admit I’d made a mistake marrying him and having kids together.
I finally saw it all and told him it was over. Assumed he’d be furious and bitter but he was very regretful, begged for another chance, said he was depressed. I agreed to try. This was a year ago and things have been so, so much better, he’s also having treatment for depression and that has massively helped I’m sure. However, I can’t unsee these realisations I eventually had and they’ve changed me and changed how I feel about him and about us. I imagine starting a life by myself again and feel I would be happier, but I feel so guilty and so worried about hurting the children and splitting their world into two parts.
If this was your situation, do you think you would stay or go?
- Care about him but definitely do not love like a partner, at all.
- Don’t want physical contact/sex/kisses.
- Feel irritated/annoyed by him a lot.
- We have a lot of different views.
- He’s prone to an awful lot of mild illnesses/ailments.
- Know without doubt, if I had my time again I wouldn’t have moved in with him.
- A good dad and kids adore him.
- Very loyal.
- Generous.
- Are friends and have stuff in common.
- Have a nice life together with shared friends etc.
- Have similar family values.
- Split would be messy, complicated and I’d be in a bit of a state financially. (I know money shouldn’t be a reason but this is the full picture)
In brief (!)
YANBU - I'D LEAVE
YABU - I'D STAY