Should I send flowers to this funeral??

[Welshmaenad]

Been dating a new guy for a month. All going extremely well and I'm VERY happy.

On Monday I'm accompanying him to his Nan's funeral. I didn't meet her but offered to be there to support him if he wanted and he was really glad of it. His family are aware and happy that I'm going although it will be a fairly small congregation.

I've checked the listing on the funeral directors website for postcodes etc and it says 'flowers welcome'. Do you think I should send a small posy etc? Or would that be weird as I never met her? I just think it's nice when there's a small funeral that there's a decent amount of flowers for the family to see the person was loved.

Help!!

Funeral isn't in a church so no collection plate

The Crematorium also have collection plates. I wouldn’t send flowers for someone I had never met.

No
You never met her
You've been dating him for a month
Do not send flowers- it will be seen as really wierd

Tbh I think it's odd you're going, you've only been dating for a month.

I think going is a bit odd after a month of dating, sending flowers would seem even odder.

I wouldn't go, mainly because I cry at anything even vaguely sad. So I would look really strange crying for a person that I did not know (but my eyes did not get that memo)

I wouldn't send flowers, you didn't know her. Go and support your bf, if he's coping ok keep your presence low key.

Dh's nan died when we'd only been seeing each other a couple of months, I didn't even think about going to the funeral. Tbh I think it's way too early in your relationship to be going to this and going to be bloody awkward meeting his family there as someone who has only been dating him 4 weeks.

No I wouldn't send flowers. You've only known him a month and though it's nice that you're going with him, you wouldn't really be expected to even do that.

Please, whatever you do, do NOT ask about charitable donations. It is really rude to start assuming grieving families are doing charities

I always ask if the family would prefer flowers or a donation. Flowers are such a waste of money that I'd rather make sure. When DM died I specified no flowers but a couple of people who I hadn't spoken to asked me.

A definite No to sending flowers. Attending the funeral to support your boyfriend is more than enough at this early stage.

I did the thing I should have done instead of stressing, and just asked him!

Apparently there will be a charity collection so I will ensure I have cash on me. He's a bit bemused by the 'flowers welcome' things as his name hated cut flowers apparently! So he isn't sending any either.

I know some people think it's weird I'm going, but he wants me there and his family are happy with it. My family is Irish so I think my approach to funerals is maybe a bit less restrained than some. Everyone goes to funerals in our family. Everyone. I also had this nagging "don't show up to an event without an offering" thing my mum instilled in me. I just didn't want to forever be "that weirdo that sent flowers to our Jean's funeral".

I know I didn't love her but I was just trying to convey that for some families a large display of flowers can be a comfort, you know?

Anyway, I am not sending flowers! Thank you for helping me through my dithering!