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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To report driving instructor

28 replies

SandyY2K · 10/01/2020 18:25

So DD17 has just started driving lessons. She was pretty shaken after her lesson today. Ad soon as she got in, I knew something was wrong.

She told me a woman on a bike had pulled out/come out of a road without looking. No harm caused at all.

The driving instructor proceeds to wind his window down and scream at the top of his voice telling her to get the F off the road and don't come. back...Other things were said as well.

Then he stretches over where DD was in the driving seat and put his hand on the horn few a good few seconds.

She was scared for the rest of her lesson and doesn't want any more lessons with him.

I wouldn't want her to either, but I'm really concerned a driving instructor would behave like this and wonder if I should take it further.

I'm not sure of he has MH issues, as I thought he was a bit odd when I first met him, but this incident has really annoyed me.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Lifeisabeach09 · 10/01/2020 18:29

Cancel future lessons and get a new instructor.
Not sure who you would report him to.

iklboo · 10/01/2020 18:29

He should be registered with the DIA and have a driving instructor number.

Not sure how you can extrapolate mental health problems from being 'a bit odd' though. I have MH issues and appear perfectly normal. What did he do to make you worry?

PastTippingPoint · 10/01/2020 18:30

I wouldn't take it further but I definitely would take my business elsewhere. He was not at all professional! I don't blame your daughter for feeling shaken.

I (briefly) had an instructor who would get road rage and swear at other drivers. It put me off and I stopped having lessons with him.

Herpesfreesince03 · 10/01/2020 18:30

There’s nothing to report him for. He’s responsible for your daughter and probably had a fright thinking that woman was going to hit her car while he was teaching her. We all react to shock in different ways. If she doesn’t feel comfortable being taught by him anymore, that’s fine. But no one will be interested in you reporting him beeping the horn and shouting at someone almost causing an accident with a learner driver

TulipCat · 10/01/2020 18:32

I would just find another one and move on. Your daughter has only had one lesson with him, I wouldn't waste time and energy on him.

Sparklingbrook · 10/01/2020 18:32

Definitely get a new instructor that's not the way to demonstrate good driving attitude to a learner. Shock

Elouera · 10/01/2020 18:44

If DD isn't comfortable then I'd find a new instructor too. Not sure where or who you could report to though?
My 1st instructor was partially deaf- something I wasn't aware of till I was in the car. He'd ask questions but couldn't hear the answer when I was facing forward, so I'd have to turn my head and speak really loudly at him, whilst trying to drive also. I only stayed for 2 lessons!

Topseyt · 10/01/2020 18:48

Just cancel any lessons already booked and get another instructor.

No idea who you would report it to.

Surplus2requirements · 10/01/2020 18:55

Road rage from an instructor during a lesson is no way acceptable imo.

Driving instructors can be reported to DVSA

www.gov.uk/complain-about-a-driving-instructor

ShinyMe · 10/01/2020 18:57

If he's a one man band then I can understand the 'who would I report it to?' thinking. However, if he works for a bigger school, BSM or AA or whatever, then definitely report it to them.

mummaaw · 10/01/2020 18:59

I wouldn't report him. Yes he went a bit far and when your a learning everything on the roads is scary. But he was only sticking up for your daughter at the end of the day

Surplus2requirements · 10/01/2020 18:59

All approved driving instructors are registered with DVSA

hazell42 · 10/01/2020 19:02

Don't report him
Complain
Reporting is for wimps who 'dont do' confrontation.
Complain. Loudly
If you dont get a satisfactory response THEN consider reporting him, though who to I don't know

Original poster
SandyY2K · 10/01/2020 19:02

When I say just started driving, it's wasn't her very first lesson.

I had other concerns before too, but nothing as bad as this. He talks a lot about personal issues..like being recovered from substance abuse. His difficult upbringing, living on estate, his health issues etc

I wouldn't expect a professional instructor to behave like this, displaying road rage.

She certainly won't be having any more lessons with him.

I'll just text and let him know the lessons are over.

OP posts:
Khione · 10/01/2020 19:03

Very unprofessional of him.

As a driving instructor he must see many drivers who should not be allowed to drive and be some of the people he tech will also do some understandably silly things at time that have potentially dangerous consequences. He needs to be able to remain calm in all those situations.

He is a role model for his learners and they are paying for him to model good driving behaviour not just good driving skills.

I would definitely cancel any further lessons and, if he is part of a motoring school, rather than being self employed, I would tell them why you are cancelling.

wanderings · 10/01/2020 19:07

I used to be a driving instructor. Report: it’s those like him who give instructors a bad name.

To DVSA.

We are supposed to be unflappable, setting a good example. He was hardly doing so.

Original poster
SandyY2K · 10/01/2020 19:09

Don't report him
Complain
Reporting is for wimps who 'dont do' confrontation

I'm very careful how I complain directly to ppl who know where I live.

I don't call an instructor swearing and screaming sticking up for my DD. I'm surprised anyone thinks this is acceptable behaviour from a professional ADI.

They must be used to this all the time. I remember my instructor years ago, would just say they were an idiot to me, without screaming and raging....then we carry on with the lesson.

OP posts:
Original poster
SandyY2K · 10/01/2020 19:15

@Khione
Thanks... I cross posted, but you said the same thing I did.

@wanderings

He is a role model for his learners and they are paying for him to model good driving behaviour not just good driving skills
Indeed.

He's not part of a driving school and has told DD how he struggled in life as a lone parent, but has made a success of himself.

OP posts:
Fr0g · 10/01/2020 19:17

Your daughters driving lesson - up to her really?
Support her, discuss it with her - but driving is for adults, treat her like one!
If it's part of a larger school, she could consider discussing it with the school and requesting a different instructor - DVSA if sole self employed DI.
Is she paying lesson by lesson, or a prepaid plan?

Original poster
SandyY2K · 10/01/2020 20:09

@Fr0g

DH and I are paying for her lessons on pay per lesson basis.

She's decided she doesn't want anymore lessons with him. This was the final straw for her.

I absolutely support her in that. No question there.

OP posts:
Unusualusernames · 10/01/2020 22:14

Cancel all future lessons and report him to his driving school. I had an instructor like this and it traumatised me as a grown adult .

lassie25 · 10/01/2020 22:49

Yep. Cancel and find a new one. He shouldn’t be talking to her about his personal life and struggles either. His time should be totally focused on her driving. He is not behaving professionally. Working on his own perhaps he doesn’t realise that - if he worked for a bigger organisation you could feed back that way. Not sure I would go as far as reporting it but I would be inclined to ask him if he wanted some feedback. He can say no.

Topseyt · 11/01/2020 01:48

Unusualusernames, OP has said he is not part of a driving school. Many instructors are not, and just work for themselves. Most that I know of round here operate that way. There is nobody to report than to.

BitOfFun · 11/01/2020 02:41

Just switch instructors, and leave him a poor review online if you are so minded. The main thing is that your daughter is scared around him now (understandably).

I learned to drive at the same age as your daughter, and I adored my driving instructor of many moons ago. We used to have great chats. One time, when we were driving past a park (a private key park btw, so by no means a rough area!), the windscreen was hit by a BB gun fired by a couple of dickheads. My instructor ROARED at me to follow them, and we basically got involved in a car chase Grin.

My parents would have taken a very dim view if I'd told them, I'm sure.

Anyway, the point (vaguely) that I'm making is that it didn't freak me out, and I carried on enjoying my lessons and passed first time. But only because I felt comfortable and happy learning to drive with him.

I suppose most of my point really though is to tell you a hoary old favourite anecdote that would make my jaw drop as an adult Grin.

alexdgr8 · 11/01/2020 03:05

certainly report this person, anon if you wish.
I am surprised at people saying there is no one to report him to if he works for himself; do they not think there must be a regulatory body that accredits driving instructors.
I wonder if this man's struggles with substance abuse are totally in the past...
I had a v inappropriately behaved driving instructor, still feel bad about it, many years later. did nothing at the time, or since. too ashamed embarrassed to tell parent, things were different then. id found that one after being cheated out of a lot of money by a 3letter company, v well known. frying pan, fire. I still see the horrible one around occasionally, tend to spit in his direction. he would have no memory of me. I thought he must be ok because he went to church.