Is this grooming?Or just loving?

[garysgreat]

Can I ask you opinions on this please?
I have a friend who has had a hard life.She was brought up in chaos and dysfunction and has low to no contact with all of her family.
Her relationships in the past vary from being ghosted, abused in all ways.
She has met a man who on the outside is charming, caring, loving.
She has fallen hard and' can't believe' her luck'.But I am worried and I can't think why?

He makes all decisions in their relationship, when they meet, what they will do, who they do it with, when she goes home.
He is 6 years older than her. She is 27.
He has specific sexual preferences which she does not but has decided to put up with it as she loves him.
He is incredible self obsessed, vain and selfish with his time.
He needs lots of alone time.He told her that he doesn't know of he believes in the marriage/kids package !
My friend is always available and does not listen to advice about living her own life.
He says he loves her, treats her well when they are together, is generous and kind to her, but always on his terms.
They are together since last Christmas.
What is going on? Why do I feel worried about it?

my apologies :)

It's ok... although I have read the full thread from the other poster and while there are many differences, the poster being the victim being the main one, I can see why posters could think I posted it too.
I have arrived home from work just now and have the most awful twisted feeling in my stomach having read the posts.
I have to ask if my friend is destined to a life of dysfunction and abuse by those who see her as an easy target.

ask if my friend is destined to a life of dysfunction and abuse by those who see her as an easy target
imo she can escape this and learn to understand what is going on and why she is triggered into compliance, I feel these things can be a bit 'magic eye picture' ....you cant see it until you see it and then it all comes into view.
He sounds very 'Svengali' though doesnt he :(

Had to google Svengali! Yes I see that he is.

I wonder if the Freedom Programme would help her? Perhaps you could sign up to do it online, and when she comes round to yours, you could pretend that you're doing it for yourself, but want her input while you go through it.

I don't know if it will help, but it's worth a try. I believe it's about £10.

I don't think so. He is God as far as she is
Concerned despite her frustration at
times. She thinks he was sent to her by her dead Gran. That's where we are at with this.